Sex Feels Good

Sex Feels Good

By Jordyn Taylor Published: Feb 17, 2022
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"It's warm and wet and a little squishy, but it's so much more than that."
Here at Men's Health , we talk a lot about sexy sensations from the penis owner's perspective: what penile and prostate orgasms feel like ; what a blowjob feels like ; what being on the receiving end of anal sex feels like . But have you ever wondered what sex feels like for people with a vagina?
People on Reddit sure have. A quick search on the online platform yields a long list of threads where women have attempted to explain the sensation of P-in-V sex. The fact of the matter is, every vagina is unique, and people experience penetration in very different ways. Some of the women described pressure and warmth; others mentioned stretching and discomfort. The takeaway here is to never assume your partner enjoys repeated thrusting— in fact, there's a very good chance they hate it . The majority of women need clitoral stimulation in order to climax . (See: the women on this list who talked about the wonders of oral sex .)
Here's how 22 women on Reddit described the feeling of penetrative and oral sex, from the perspective of a person with a vagina.
"PIV feels good. It just doesn't get me to orgasm. So foreplay and communication are needed. Clit stimulation is an absolute must if I'm going to cum." — Imabanddork
"It feels great, although not necessarily like heaven on earth (at least not always). Sometimes it's 'just' nice. It very much depends on the level of intimacy with the partner, because even though I practice a lot of casual sex, looking each other in the eyes while having sex is still the most intense connection in the world. It's very in-the-moment, you're just focused on your body and your partner and your pleasure. It's like a whole other part of your brain takes over. I don't have the words to explain the bodily sensation, but the feeling of getting wetter and wetter and then finally feeling him slowly enter is my favorite moment of it all." — Tiny_European
"It’s like riding on a unicorn, while the sun sets over the ocean’s horizon, and Morgan Freeman is narrating the entire thing." — Sphyrnidae96
"It’s all very wet and very warm. The steady pleasure I get when I’m being penetrated and my clit is getting the attention it needs is a tingly warmth that spreads throughout my pussy. When I’m coming, the sensation of that orgasm building inside of me is like a rubber band that‘s getting stretched to its limit—and then it suddenly snaps. Massive explosions of heat and pleasure.
"The other day, my husband asked me what it feels like when he hits my really good spots when we’re going at it. The best way I could describe it was that it’s like he makes my pussy see stars."— ajesterswife
"[During oral sex], the tongue is really soft and wet, so it feels good, it's better than fingers (for me). Depending on the technique, it can feel anywhere between okay and amazing. The feeling itself is just a very warm, soft, and wet caress. Sometimes men have beards/stubble, which to me doesn't feel good because it hurts my skin." — Desperate_Orange_473
"[Oral sex] feels amazing. Like, super duper amazing. Good head can make me forget my own name and where I’m at. It basically like a nice, soft, warm, wet French kiss on your most sensitive parts. I’m obsessed." — carpetsandlamps
"Um, amazing. It's a feeling of fullness and pressure. We got it lucky, cause there's even the afterwards feeling of strolling around feeling like you've been fucked.. which is another good feeling, and I'm not talking about the post-orgasm fairyland stuff. You feel empty in a good way. Woaah, I just found out that it's very hard to describe the feeling of being screwed." — zofo
"If he knows what he is doing [during oral sex], it is the most wonderful, velvety, sweetest sensation that was ever put on this earth. Most women come easily this way. It's like a tongue was made for this purpose. You just relax and think evil thoughts and it will be the easiest orgasm you ever had." — Roskybosky
"Hmm, well it really depends what kind of sex you're having but really it feels all sorts of the following: warm, tingling, sharp, shivery, hot, waves of temperature, slowly building from toes to head orgasm or slap you in the face surprise orgasm, soft, wet, hard, sweaty, full, twisting, grinding, sensual...
"Now, if you're asking what actual penis-entering-vagina actually feels like... hard to explain, but when my husband's penis actually enters me it's like pop! Like if you make a popping noise with your finger in your mouth but backwards. I'm not sure if that makes sense. For me, the vagina isn't a void so when a penis goes from rubbing against my labia to actually entering it's just pop! , sigh and then the real fun begins.
"Seriously, this is hard to describe. It's just all sorts of awesome, I guess." — bananasantos
"It feels soooo incredibly good, your whole body gets hot and waves of pleasure wash over you. It is amazing." — rainbownerdsgirl
"If I'm with a guy who isn't too big or too small then it feels so perfectly right, like this man's dick was made to be inside me. I feel filled up and wonderful, like I'm warm all over. It just feels right.
"Big dicks kinda feel like they're stretching me open more, it's nice in a different way. It's not going to fit perfectly inside but it's going to make me feel overly-filled with sensation.
"Smaller dicks are nice because I feel them even if I'm not completely filled up and they don't stretch me as much so it's more intimate and I can feel it inside me much more thoroughly than with bigger ones. Like, I can feel where it's at, what it's doing at any given time rather than 'Oh hmm there's a dick in me.'" — badwolfgoddess
"There's this really intense warmth. Literally, as in temperature warmth.
"It's a kind of hard question to answer physically, it's like asking what it feels like to kiss someone. It's warm and wet and a little squishy but it's so much more than that, just like a kiss, that you can't really out into words." — TooManyMeds
"A Q-tip after a shower, times 10." — HollyHollyHey
"It feels like a dizzy tornado of sensations and feelings that consume you. You can't think of anything else. Pleasure builds and once it hits you it keeps coming in waves." — romancetheriot
"I have no idea how to describe this. It can be painful, it can be uncomfortable, and it can be amazing. Every woman is different." — noodIes_
"Wrap your mouth gently but somewhat tightly around two of your fingers. Slide the fingers in and out. Now, pay attention to how that feels to your mouth, but imagine that your mouth is not only warm and wet but also filled with high-pleasure nerve endings. And that's still probably not even close. It's amazing." — winterwoods
"Deep pressure and a pleasurable electrical jolt. If the guy is long enough to hit deep anatomy there's also another sensation, like a sparkling glittering radiation feeling..." — Unteryn
"Well... rapid long strokes near or hitting the cervix honestly hits the spot. That’s when it starts to feel even better than not being filled up. That’s also when there’s pain (slightly hitting the cervix) and pleasure (nerves and feeling wanted [mental]).
"Getting edged with just the tip feels nice with a vibrator because of the anticipation as well. This is one of the easiest ways to orgasm too." — bonafidelatina
"I feel stretched and filled. When I get horny, I feel sort of an aching desire to be filled up, and I desperately want pressure on the inside. I like to be teased so by the time my partner enters me I'm usually pretty far gone. That first thrust all the way in is probably the most amazing. I actually like it so much that sometimes he will pull out completely and make me beg for it again. The thrusting is like applying pressure again and again exactly where I really want it, so every thrust feels.... like relief? As he pulls out I feel myself gripping to pull him back in.
"For me there is also an intense emotional component, at least with my current SO. I feel really close to him emotionally, and we tend to do it in missionary a lot of the time because we like to kiss during, which is possibly the most awesome thing ever. I can literally feel myself getting warmer and wetter and more turned on when his tongue brushes mine. He whispers 'I love you' while thrusting in and it's like..... so many happy hormones flooding my brain." — dallasdarling
"For me, it feels like a wave of full body tingles, gradually increasing in intensity. Then the wave crashes and recedes, then builds up again." — Discodawn
"It's a very intimate feeling of connection. It's like the closest you can possibly get to another person. I especially feel that the deeper it goes. Also, during foreplay, I feel like our bodies are in a disordered tangle, but during sex, it feels like everything fits properly finally. It's also a little bit like eating when you are very hungry. A feeling of physical satisfaction." — JessicaB224
"The first time the head goes inside, it's really intense and kind of painful. But it's a good, sexy kind of pain. It feels like every nerve is just on fire, concentrated in that one spot. But then as he starts thrusting, the pain subsides and the heat spreads throughout my whole lower body." — euphony618
Jordyn Taylor is the Executive Digital Editor at Men's Health. She is the co-author of 'Best. Sex. Ever.: 200 Frank, Funny & Friendly Answers About Getting It On,' and an adjunct professor at New York University's Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. She's covered sex, relationships, health, wellness, and LGBTQ+ issues since 2013, and has previously worked as a reporter and editor at Mic and the New York Observer.
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If you’ve never had it before, you’d be forgiven for wondering what sex feels like.
After all, it’s supposed to be the most exciting thing you can do, right? People make great art about it, write songs about it, gush to their friends about it, sometimes even ruin their lives trying to seek it out.
And yet, culturally, we also spend a lot of time and energy trying to prevent young people from learning about it. We tell them they can learn about it when they’re older, and then provide them with little or no sex education in the meantime.
So if you’re curious about what sex feels like because you haven’t gotten around to losing your virginity yet, don’t worry. That’s a perfectly natural curiosity, one that most people experience at some point.
Sex can mean a lot more things than just penetration, which means it can feel like many different things — but even when two people are talking about the same sex act, it can also be hard to communicate what, exactly, it feels like. To some degree, it’s something you just have to experience to fully understand.
But until you get there, AskMen spoke to several people about what sex feels like, physically and emotionally, to help give you a clearer picture — when it’s good, when it’s bad, and when it’s just plain sex.
It’s like when your parents tell you to hold onto your pee on a long car ride and you just want to burst. When you finally do, it’s a mix of satisfaction and relief. - Nathan, 32
The reason we engage in sex is that it feels nice. In fact, the closest thing to a real description of sex — considering that it can encompass penile penetration, oral, fingering and hand jobs, and various other acts — might simply be “two (or more) people touching each other’s bodies in ways that feel nice, where at least one set of genitals is involved.”
Your clothes can be on or off, it can be light or dark, inside or outside. It can produce lots of orgasms, or none at all. Any genders can be involved; it can last for a few seconds or for hours and hours. But the one constant is that it should produce a physical sensation you enjoy — like the one Nathan describes here, of orgasm being a form of beautiful release.
Being inside someone else’s body is a fascinating experience. When you’re aroused and in the moment you just feel this incredible pull to be as close to your partner as possible. And the sensation on your penis of feeling a warm and wet vagina around it, pressing on it, causing that friction, is just amazing. - Eric, 35
In part because human bodies are warm, sex is, well, warm. And it can also get a bit messy. Not least because good sex requires lubrication — whether that’s saliva, vaginal fluids or an artificial lubricant — there’s at least a little bit of wetness and mess to be expected, to say nothing of the sweat that you can work up during a vigorous bout of it — or if one or more participants ejaculate. Let’s just say that showering afterwards isn’t a terrible idea.
I wish I knew as a young person that sex isn't just penis-in-vagina. The writer Esther Perel has this really expansive view of sex that she talks about in her work — how sex can include erotic moments. Which includes a very wide range of interactions and feelings and encounters. This could mean that you “have sex” before a certain traditional threshold is reached. It’s very freeing to view sex that way, and I wish I had known that when I was younger! - Yuan, 32
Not to belabor the point, but sex is really more than just penis-in-vagina, or penis-in-anus, penetration. Sex can also be a handjob, a blowjob, cunnilingus, anilingus, frottage, sensual massaging, a boob-job, and more. From another perspective, it can be sexting or sharing nudes or video-calling to masturbate together.
If you’re less experienced, you may feel like you haven’t really “had sex” or you can’t fully “know what sex feels like” until you’ve experienced full penetration, because of the societal script that this is the most important form of sex. But that does a disservice to all the other beautiful ways to be sexual with another person, which are equally valid and no less capable of making you feel good.
There’s a saying about sex — even when it’s bad, it’s good. That’s a bit tongue in cheek, and, as the next section explores, often untrue, but the underlying point, that it doesn’t need to be spectacular to be enjoyable, exciting or pleasurable, is a valid one.
So it’s worth considering that all sex that’s not actively unpleasant to one or more participants is fun — but what about sex that rises above that to be incredibly good? What about mind-blowing sex, or life-changing sex? What does especially good sex feel like?
Good sex feels like disappearing into an abyss of non-existence. - Justine, 35
When you’re really enjoying yourself — like, say, if you’re playing your favorite sport, creating art in a way you love, solving a problem in a cool way — the rest of the world sort of disappears. You forget about all your issues and troubles and you’re 100% in the moment. That’s sort of what happens when you’re having great sex: You enter a kind of ‘flow state’ where your own self-consciousness melts away and you’re fully present.
Sadly, not all sex is like this, and even good sex isn’t like this every single second of it! It’s easy to feel awkward or embarrassed at times, even with a long-time partner. But the state that Justine describes is an awesome experience that does occur when you and the other person are synced up just right.
Good sex feels like there’s nothing between you and another person. You feel so close, so connected, so in tune. There’s something incredibly beautiful about that. - Adam, 34
Speaking of syncing up — good sex can also be a transcendental moment of closeness with another person, where the boundaries between you feel like they’ve dissolved completely.
Though you don’t need to be in love with someone to have good sex with them, good sex can produce a euphoric feeling of closeness and tenderness towards the other person that can feel, in the moment, a lot like love. That’s probably in part a question of the chemicals our brains release during sex , but that doesn’t make it any less powerful of a feeling.
Good sex feels like purposeful vulnerability in a really beautiful way. You’re trusting someone, ultimately, and trusting that they care about your pleasure as much as you do. It can be scary for that reason, but also gratifying. - Dessa, 30
Of course, to a degree, that often depends on whether you can be vulnerable with the other person. You have to trust them, as Dessa points out — trust that you’re both on the same page, looking for the same things and wanting the same pleasure. That’s part of the reason it can be hard (though certainly not impossible) to have great sex with someone who’s a relative stranger. But when you’re brave enough to, open to the moment and to the other person, you have a chance at experiencing a really powerful moment.
It’s important to distinguish between bad sex and sex acts that violate someone’s consent , like rape and assault. Since one of the people involved didn’t agree to what was happening, calling rape or assault sex is privileging the perpetrator’s perspective over the victim’s.
That being said, it’s possible for sex to be unpleasant, painful, underwhelming or unfulfilling in a variety of ways without anyone’s consent being violated. As great as sex can be when it’s good, it’s not always mind-blowing, and sometimes it’s not even decent. Sometimes it’s kind of bad.
Sex isn’t supposed to hurt! I used to think that a little pang of pain and tightness was the vagina’s natural reaction. Now that I am in a non-abusive and healthy relationship, I am realizing that that is so wrong. - Lauren, 22
Sex is supposed to be fun and pleasurable, so if it’s hurting, something’s wrong. While often it’s the person being penetrated who will bear the brunt of physical pain in sex, sex can be painful for anyone involved if it’s not being done with care and attentiveness, and if not enough lubrication is being used.
It’s important to know that, unless you’re enjoying feeling pain (and it’s OK if you are) it’s always acceptable to stop the sex and figure out why it’s feeling painful before proceeding — or simply calling it off entirely to let the hurt person have some relief and so their pain (physical and/or emotional) can be tended to. If you were playing basketball with a friend, you wouldn’t insist on carrying on if one person sprained their ankle, and it’s no different here.
I have a bad habit of thinking of the best sexual experiences I've had while in the midst of having sex. Why can't I just live in the moment rather than have my mind elsewhere? Sex plays a really important role in my psyche. If it's not the best, I'm probably going to be thinking about better times, even if I'm enjoying myself. - Claire, 27
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