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The Sex Party review – spiky comedy fails to satisfy
Bigotry in the bedroom … Timothy Hutton and Pooya Mohseni in The Sex Party. Photograph: Alastair Muir
Timothy Hutton on The Sex Party: ‘Do I think it will be controversial? I don’t know …’
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Menier Chocolate Factory, London There’s tension in Terry Johnson’s tale of four couples meeting for sex and nibbles but the unruly debate isn’t deep enough
A t first, The Sex Party looks like a retro BBC sitcom about swingers, although that term is banned at this adult shindig. Four couples collect for sex and nibbles at a cool north London postcode. There is gleeful talk about getting it on and a fair share of parading around in lingerie and thigh boots.
But Terry Johnson’s spiky comedy takes us from the familiar fare of smut and sniggering double entendres to something bolder and more awkward in the sex/gender debate at its centre, even if it does not reach a satisfying end.
We only ever see what happens in the high-end kitchen (set designed by Tim Shortall) but we get a vivid idea of the action in the living room from the moans and groans we hear. In a production also directed by Johnson, the acting stays fine across the board although the characters are flimsy (Lisa Dwan especially does wonders with her part) and the star casting of Timothy Hutton stays strangely marginal for too long. He drifts on and off stage, saying little and looking like a cliched California guru in yoga pants.
The dialogue often goes off on random, unruly riffs; one character (Will Barton) talks about taking MDMA and the dialogue sounds under the influence too.
The play’s grenade is lobbed as the first act closes, with the entry of Lucy (Pooya Mohseni), a trans woman, and from here on in it feels like another play altogether. Doris Lessing, in a Penguin introduction to Lady Chatterley’s Lover, wrote that what happens in the bedroom is a “report on the sex war” outside it and it seems to be the case with this living room; suddenly, no one wants to convene there and a very live tension is in the air.
Much is flung at us, from talk of toilets to language and JK Rowling and it feels genuinely edgy. It is brave of Johnson to grapple with a debate that has become so divisive that a meeting of this kind would be unimaginable in real life. But arguments come thick and fast without being explored. Johnson seems to be shooting an arrow through the issues of the day – including, too briefly, consent – but it comes to feel like a dramatised version of Twitter.
The room exposes its bigots and we finally see the point of Hutton’s character but as more plot-points are lobbed at us in the closing moments it feels much less like a sitcom than an entire series rolled into one production.

She’s Gotta Have It (2017 – 2019, two seasons)
Looking (2014 – 2016, two seasons and a movie)
Masters of Sex (2013 – 2016, four seasons)
Never Have I Ever (2020 –, two seasons)
There’s plenty of sex on TV, though much of it is incidental window dressing—thoughtlessly tossed in as if by decree from ratings-hungry executives (looking at you, Game of Thrones ).
H onestly, I’m the last one to turn up my nose at a bit of gratuitous nudity, especially given that we’re beginning to see a bit more gender parity on that front. But i t’s much rarer to see anything resembling a true exploration of sexuality: the messy, complicated, sweaty, and occasionally gratifying realities of sex, porn, masturbation, sex work, fetish, relationships, and trauma. Still, over t he past decade, there has been a noticeable uptick in smart, interesting, often sex positive shows exploring different types of relationships and sexualities while normalizing good ol’ healthy fucking. Here are a dozen of them to add to your watchlist.
Many of us come from families with philosophies that could be described as... less than sex positive. Which is not great. T his popular British series imagines the life of a teenager with a parent on the opposite end of that spectrum: Mom (Gillian Anderson) is a sex therapist who’s not particularly good at romantic relationships. As a result, Asa Butterfield’s Otis Milburn grew up with an ambivalence toward the topic— a lack of interest that held until he realized that his inside k nowledge of doing the deed could earn him friends ( and paying customers) at school. With some classmates , he establishes his own clinic to help fellow students with their sexual concerns and problems. In the process, Otis, and the show, address a wide range of issues— birth control and abortion, masturbation, sexually transmitted diseases, and developing sexual identities— all while the characters are growing and learning about themselves. The series was renewed for a fourth season back in September; no word yet on that release date.
Hayley Squires plays Hayley Burrows, a thirty-something mother of three children . She’s also a porn star with the screen name Jolene Dollar. A veteran of the industry, she helps out the younger women when she can, and winds up complicating her own circumstances when an incident involving coerced anal sex causes harm to a 19-year-old newcomer. Despite all that, the show (which is produced with the help of advisors from the real-world adult film industry) takes an unusually measured approach: It presents sex work as havin g the same pros and cons as any other job. It’s no paradise, by any means, but it’s not a seedy nightmare, either.
Wanderlust explores the sort of sexual awakening that occurs a bit later in life . Toni Collette and Steven Mackintosh play a middle-aged couple with three kids who decide that, for the sake of their marriage, they’re goin to mix things up—staying together, but engaging in a bit of polyamory. The show explores the topic honestly and with tremendous compassion, though it doesn’t suggest that open marriages are for everyone, nor that it’s the kind of thing that’s going to heal every underlying issue.
Like the Spike Lee classic that it’s based on, She’s Gotta Have It follows Nola Darling (now played by DeWanda Wise), navigating the modern world of sex and dating without ever compromising on her own sexuality. Throughout the first season, she dates three men and one woman simultaneously, without shame or apology—not quite as shocking as it was back in 1986, but the show still presents a rare portrait of a Black woman entirely comfortable with herself.
Looking isn’t exclusively about sex, but it undergirds everything that happens in the series. Jonathan Groff plays Patrick Murray, a 29-year-old game designer from a conservative family who’s only just beginning to explore love and sexuality as an out gay man in San Francisco. Other couples in the show navigate polyamory and age gaps, doing so in a way that makes it all seem ordinary. For some viewers, that lack of high drama was a turn off, but the show’s refusal to approach modern, urban gay life as something shocking is exhilarating in its own way.
Covering a historical time period of nearly 15 years, this is the (sometimes highly) fictionalized story of sex research pioneers William Masters (Michael Sheen) and Virginia Johnson (Lizzy Caplan). With a style reminiscent of Mad Men , the show impresses for in how it i s far less lurid than its title suggests, instead approaching sexuality with a deep earnestness that occasionally borders on the schmaltzy. No matter: T here are plenty of shows with lots of sex, and fewer that approach the topic with this degree of compassion.
Puberty, for most of us, was...quite a bit. A conflicted mess of hormones and bodily fluids and misinformation with everyone pretending that nothing at all is going on. Big Mouth , from Andrew Goldberg, Nick Kroll, Mark Levin, Jennifer Flackett (accompanied by other recognizable voice actors ), recognizes all of that and jokes around about it the crudest ways possible, with literal hormone monsters personifying their most intrusive thoughts. Shit gets wild: Kristen Wiig plays the anthropomorphic vulva of one of the main characters; Kristen Bell guests as Pam, a very special pillow forced to deal with an unwanted pregnancy; a recent Christmas special delivers on the promise of showing you Santa’s dick (and throws in his balls as a bonus) . For all of the (very) off-color jokes, the show airs topics that ought to be discussed, and treats its characters with compassion. It’s been renewed at least through a sixth season, probably coming late in 2022.
Joe Swanberg’s relationship anthology follows a variety of Chicago couples navigating love and sex in their various relationships. The format involves largely standalone episodes, with some recurring threads and occasional revisits in subsequent seasons—Kyle (Michael Chernus) and Andi (Elizabeth Reaser), for instance, enter into an open marriage in season one, with individual episodes in seasons two and three checking in on how it’s going . Other episodes deal with characters moving past infidelity and the dangers of inviting others into their relationships . On some level, all of these stories deal with familiar struggles, even if in unfamiliar contexts, and do so with open-minded compassion .
Tiff Chester, psychology grad student, moonlights as a dominatrix and enlists an old high school friend as an assistant; he winds up discovering new aspects of his own sexuality due to his exposure to Tiff’s work. There was a fair bit of criticism of the show’s first season from some in the BDSM community, largely relating to inaccurate portrayals of the kink, as well as its use of clichés, like Tiff’s history of sexual trauma serving been a basis for her interest in domination. The second season made some considerable improvements in those regards, presenting a (generally) positive view of sex work and fetish.
Following a family tragedy, the already awkward 15-year-old Devi Vishwakumar (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan) has a pretty terrible freshman year of high school, and decides that she’s going to turn things around the following year, hoping that a nearly academic study of sex will get her the boyfriend(s) her raging hormones have begun to demand. It works, to a point— but getting a surprise yes to sex from her crush leads her to question what she’s really ready for. More about burgeoning sexuality than sex specifically, this Mindy Kaling- produced series is both honest and charming.
Special isn’t about sex, per se. Not nearly to the extent that many of the other shows here are. But it does offer a perspective on sexuality that’s almost entirely unique on TV: the main character, Ryan Hayes (writer/comedian Ryan O’Connell, playing a character inspired by his own experiences) is a gay man with cerebral palsy, navigating the worlds of disability and queerness alongside all of the other complications of modern dating and sex. There’s also a sideline about Ryan’s mother (Jessica Hecht) simultaneously rediscovering sex.
( Atypical is a very different show, centered around a teenager with autism, but similarly addresses dating and sex for a character on the disability spectrum. It’s also on Netflix.)
There was tremendous virtue in enlisting beloved pop star and Doctor Who companion Billie Piper for the role of Belle Baxter, a fictionalized version of real-life blogger and former London call-girl Brooke Magnanti, who wrote under the name Belle de Jour. It’s a frequently funny and juicy drama, but its most important innovation is in presenting a sex worker who’s mature, smart, middle-class, and educated, dodging so many stereotypes of the industry.
Where to stream: Prime Video, Tubi, Showtime

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