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This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Peter Stahl. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Throughout my training as a urologist and years of working in men's sexual health, there's a topic that comes up again and again: Men want to know whether they're having a "normal" amount of sex .
There's lots of pressure, especially on men, to have what they perceive as a typical sex life . There's an idea that people should be having lots of sex and certain types of sex. If they're not, that can result in disappointment and stress, which can kill a libido.
That's why it's so important for people to know that there is no normal.
Of course, I can explain that again and again — but many of my patients didn't believe me. That's why I was excited to look at the results from a Hims & Hers survey on the sex habits and perspectives of Americans. Over 7,000 people participated in the 2022 survey.
As a medical doctor, I read lots of research. And I saw this report as a tool to help my patients. It's one thing to say there's no normal, and there's another thing to follow that up immediately with data points.
For example, 75% of respondents said they thought other people had sex more than once a week, but only 54% of respondents reported actually having sex that often. Only 22% of respondents said that more sex would improve their sex lives.
All of this lends credibility to the message I'm trying to get across: There is no normal, and you don't have to worry about comparisons.
A good sex life is one where both partners are happy, satisfied, and communicating openly. What that means for each person is extremely individualized. I know couples who have sex once a month and feel connected and fulfilled. For others, the physical connection of sex is integral to their week-to-week interactions as a couple. Some couples can't have penetrative sex but are satisfied with other types of play.
Most of the time my patients know when they're out of sync with their partners sexually. They might not know why, or how to fix it, but they realize something is wrong.
That's where communication comes in. I've learned that you can't separate the physical from the psychological when it comes to sex. As a urologist, I can treat a man's erectile dysfunction medically — but at the same time, I'm going to refer him to other resources like sex therapy.
I would like all my patients to worry less about the sex others are having. Instead, they should focus on creating their own positive sex life: one where they feel actualized, happy with the sex they're having, and connected to their partner if they have one.

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November 17, 2022 / 7:49 AM
/ AP

FARMINGTON HILLS, Mich. — A doctor who police say has spent two decades providing medical assistance to youth hockey teams in Michigan and Minnesota faces 10 more charges of criminal sexual conduct after being accused by patients across Michigan, authorities said Wednesday.
The Farmington Hills Police Department received 33 additional tips about urologist Dr. Zvi Levran following his initial October arrest , Chief Jeff King said, and the Oakland County Prosecutor's Office authorized the 10 additional charges in those cases.
The tips came from local communities including Novi, Livonia, West Bloomfield and Redford, King said. Tips also have come from California, Georgia, North Carolina, Minnesota, Arizona and Canada.
Levran's attorney, Joe Lavigne, has entered not guilty pleas on his client's behalf.
"We're looking forward to defending the charges," he said.
Levran has been in custody since surrendering to police on Nov. 10.
The role of sports doctors and their interactions with athletes have come under scrutiny in recent years.
Former Michigan State University sports doctor Larry Nassar was sentenced in 2018 to 40 to 175 years in prison after admitting to molesting some of the nation's top gymnasts for years under the guise of medical treatment. He was accused of sexually assaulting hundreds of women and girls.
Former University of Michigan athletes, students and others have said they were molested by University of Michigan sports doctor Robert Anderson. Anderson was director of the campus health service and a physician for multiple sports teams, including football. He died in 2008 after working at the university for nearly 40 years.

First published on November 17, 2022 / 7:49 AM

© 2022 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

©2022 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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