Sex 90 S

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Sex 90 S
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How to Have Great Sex Until You’re 90
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When experts talk about sex after 55, it tends to be a gloomy prognostication. After all, they point out that older men have an increased risk of erectile dysfunction, lower libido, reduced sexual sensation, a harder time orgasming , and more difficulty getting going for another round. Consider them pessimists.
Sure, “things don’t work as well, but men can continue to be sexual, and happily so, well into their 90s,” says Abraham Morgentaler, author of The Truth About Men and Sex: Intimate Secrets from the Doctor’s Office , associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School. Here’s your guide to staying sexual active for, well, ever. 
As you age, maintaining an erection is the number one difficulty. Most men will have to deal with this problem at some point according to the Massachusetts Male Aging study that found that 52 percent of the men surveyed reported having ED. The older the men were in the study, the more likely they were to experience it, making incidence of this condition equal about 10 percent for every decade (i.e., 40 percent of men reported it at 40, 50 percent at 50, and so on). Complete ED, where a man can never achieve erection, increased from 5 percent at age 40 to 15 percent at age 70.
So what can you do about it? A fair amount, actually. Eating well and staying in shape and keeping yourself generally healthy has a direct correlation to the health of your penis. According to the Mayo Clinic , causes of ED are most often physical and include:
• Clogged blood vessels (atherosclerosis)
• Metabolic syndrome (a combination of conditions including high blood pressure, high blood sugar, excess fat at the waist, and abnormal cholesterol levels)
• Injury to penis, spinal cord, prostate, bladder, pelvis
• Drug use, including tobacco and alcohol
Another sex-sapping culprit is one you’ve heard plenty about: low testosterone. Low levels of this hormone may affect erection quality, sex drive, sensitivity in the genitals, and ability to have an orgasm. It can also lead to loss of muscle mass and general feelings of reduced vitality and energy. Morgentaler says that about 30 percent of men over age 45 have low enough levels of testosterone to cause symptoms.
Declining testosterone is natural. On average, levels drop 1 percent per year after age 30 or 40, according to the Mayo Clinic . The impact this has on sex varies; not every man with low levels of testosterone experiences changes in his sexual abilities or energy. There is also plenty of debate over what precisely qualifies as low-T.
As men get older, the inclination to compare their sex lives with others increases, says Michael Ian Rothenberg , sex therapist and clinical sexologist in private practice in Winter Park, Florida. This is a problem. “Walking into a meeting or walking into the gym, [men] tend to make comparisons between themselves and other men,” says Rothenberg, “and this all becomes part of the performance anxiety that people experience.”
Whether a man is distressed that he can’t do what he used to, doesn’t do what other men do, psychological comparisons are among the most common reasons for ED. “What happens is the past comes into the room and the future comes into the room and it blocks the ability to be present, where sexual pleasure is going to take place,” says Rothenberg.
In a similar vein, men who find themselves involved with younger partners might need to evaluate the impact of that dynamic on their sex life. May–December romances can magnify sexual challenges, says Melanie Davis , a sexuality education consultant based in central New Jersey. Younger partners aren’t going to have as great an understanding of an older body, including erectile issues, discomfort with certain positions, and medical conditions, says Davis. She adds that scars, wrinkles, or medical implants, such as pacemakers or hip replacements, simply don’t garner the same reactions from older partners that they do from younger ones.
Although your mind probably goes right to the “Little Blue Pill,” there are many ways to treat sexual problems related to aging.
Medications like Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra can do wonders for erectile dysfunction , working for about 70 percent of ED cases. If those don’t fix the problem, self-injections of medication into the penis or a suppository of medication into the urethra (the tube in the center of the penis) are other options. Beyond medications, vacuum pumps, penile implants, or surgery can also help.
Low testosterone is less often the answer to problems with erectile dysfunction but, if a man does have especially low levels and is experiencing sexual symptoms, it’s worth discussing testosterone-replacement therapy with a doctor. There are, however, quite a few risks. These can include acne, enlargement of breast tissue, testicle shrinkage, and lowered sperm production, increased risk of blood clots, and increased growth of existing prostate cancer.
As for problems with sexual functioning that have a psychological or emotional component, a sex therapist can help. The solutions that come from sex therapy will be personal but Rothenberg says that mindfulness training is a common piece. This helps men combat comparisons to others or stress about prior or future sexual encounters by teaching them to focus on the pleasure they are having in the present, rather than what’s happened before or what they want to do next.
Sex therapists also help their clients learn different ways to be sexual. This can be as simple as having sex in the morning, when testosterone levels tend to peak, or more complicated explorations of new ways to have sex, such as mutual masturbation or role play. Talk therapy is another common component of sex therapy. “If there’s disorder in your mind, you can’t expect to find order in your world or in your bed,” says Rothenberg.
If you’re struggling to understand what it means to be sexual at this stage, you may want to try to find a sex educator. These professionals don’t diagnose or treat sexual problems, but offer very specific, actionable ways of learning more about your sexuality or sex in general. One topic Davis says she often covers with older individuals is the relative unimportance of hard erections and orgasm as requirements for good sex. “The best solution is to realize that your erection is your least exciting thing about you as a sexual person,” says Davis. Getting education about these misconceptions could include learning more about arousal and sexual stimulation. For seniors, Davis recommends checking out Safer Sex for Seniors , an organization that provides all kinds of sex info tailored for an older audience.


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When it comes to sex and cinema, the relationship has not always been a passionate affair. From the early days of Hollywood, where censorship boards were set up to control the amount of nudity, sexuality, and violence portrayed in films to greater permissiveness and tolerance and the infamous naughty flicks of the 70's and 80's to the development of the ratings systems and the MPAA replacing X with NC-17 in 1990, sex and cinema has been a contentious evolution.
With that said, as I began to compile a list of Ten “Best” Sex Scenes, I quickly came to discover this evolution and how “sex” was defined differently throughout the generations. And not only has the “sex” perception of what is acceptable to portray on film changed, so are there differences between a sex scene that is deemed as “hot” or “carnal” versus “violent” or “abusive” versus “tender” or “sensual”, etc. Who ever said a great sex scene has to be fodder for the imagination late at night? Sometimes a great sex scene can be just as insightful, moving, or even hilarious as any other kind of scene — and oh, yeah, sometimes you even see nudity.
But… there are so many to choose from over a century of filmmaking, and therefore, the compromise: I focused on modern cinema. So these are ten of the best I've seen from the 90's to now. There's a lack of foreign films on the list as well, but to be honest — it was hard whittling it all down to just ten. Apparently, I've seen more sex on screen than I ever should've admitted to….
Steven Soderbergh's classy adaptation of the Elmore Leonard novel was one of the sexiest modern films; then again, when your movie stars George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez in their primes, it would be pretty hard to miss the hotness mark. Their flirtatious foreplay is what makes the sex scene so memorable. Soderbergh isn't very interested in watching two naked people thrash around in a bed; instead, he intercuts their earlier dinner table conversation with them both stripping down in a hotel room, admiring each other. 
It's a very delicate scene, but is probably the one that lingers in the memory the most (that and the delightful car trunk sequence). Casting two of Hollywood's most gorgeous people certainly helped, but by making the scene more about the anticipation rather than the climax, Out of Sight was a winner.
Again trying to show that not every sex scene has to be incredibly hot, Shoot 'Em Up is, in it's own way, the most logical sex scene ever witnessed in an action film. Usually the hero and damsel in distress somehow find a quiet hour apart from getting shot at, long enough to toss the covers around in a not-revealing PG-13 kind of way. In Shoot 'Em Up , though, the bad guys come bursting in right during the steamy stuff, and Clive Owen picks up a gun and blasts them all away — all without stopping the sex!
If it sounds ridiculous, it absolutely is; the whole film is pitched at a Looney Tunes level, so seeing Clive Owen shooting a bunch of trained assassins while humping a beautiful Monica Belluci isn't actually all that far-fetched. Instead, it just becomes a laugh-riot of a scene; action-packed, humorous, bad-ass, and containing two of the most attractive people in the movie business going crazy on each other (Belluci surprisingly doesn't show much nudity, considering her ease with it in stuff like Malena , but…you can't win 'em all).   
Not that you asked, but I figured I should toss it out there — I'm a straight male. That also might explain why several of the picks on this list are between two gorgeous women. Now, as a straight male, the initial sex scene in Brokeback Mountain between the two closet gay men doesn't turn me on in the normal, physical sense. But again, this list is a Best list, not a Hottest, and I can't deny that this is one of the strongest and most culturally significant sex scenes ever filmed, and the two actors within the scene (Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall) were never better.
If you haven't seen the achingly sad film, Brokeback Mountain is about two cowboy's in the 1960's, who fall in love with each other but know they can't possibly be together. The first time they finally succumb to their feelings is very raw, brutal, and physical — the sex sounds painful (the tent is so dark, it's hard to see any details), and the aftermath is as uncomfortable as it comes. But it's such a shocking scene, then and now, and it's quickly followed by one of the most tender and emotional love scenes in modern films.
I don't want to judge, but let's just say that if any of you have ever gotten aroused by the sex scene in this movie, please seek immediate psychiatric help. Sexiness is not in the repertoire of creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker (remember their movie Orgazmo , back before they created South Park ?) When they made Team America , a hilarious satire of American international policies and Michael Bay action flicks, they were so worried about the MPAA forcing them to cut back on the profanity and gross-out content that they decided to go for broke and make the nastiest, most pornographic sex scene between two puppets that the world had ever seen.
Shockingly, despite this scene existing only to distract the incredibly conservative MPAA, they insisted on only two cuts — the shots of the lovers pooping and peeing on each other had to be jettisoned. The rest, in which the puppets perform every sex act, in every position, possibly imaginable…well, that was all fine and dandy, I guess. I remember the first time watching this scene, I was in tears from laughing. It's shocking and disgusting, but oh so funny, and very ballsy (that's not a pun, by the way — come on, they're puppets! They don't have genitalia! Stop being gross.)
This is one popular and well-known sex scene that somehow manages to make it on lots of people's Best lists, and also their Worst lists. As an actual movie scene, it's flawed in the most ridiculous ways ever. But as B-movie, trashy fun, it's a blast (much like the flick itself). Yes, it's awkward as hell that during a topless lady-man-lady threesome, Neve Campbell keeps all her clothes on. Yes, the spilling of wine all over Denise Richard's surgically enhanced assets is more funny than sexy. And yes, Matt Dillon's "ohhhh yeeeeah" face during the entire ordeal will make you less aroused than if you saw porn of the Queen of England.
But…that's all kind of the point, isn't it? The sex scenes in Wild Things aren't really meant to be great movie moments — they're trashy, pulpy, hilarious garbage, with the occasional breasts and lesbian kiss thrown in for good measure. Most of Wild Things' infamous moments are like this — Richards and Campbell's forced foreplay in the pool, for instance, is often more embarrassing than sexy. But it's hard to watch this scene and not feel SOMETHING, whether that be arousal or amusement.
Halle Berry had already gone topless in Swordfish a few years before her Oscar-winning role in Monster's Ball , but that was a completely gratuitous boob-shot that existed solely to arouse the men (and women, let's face it — she's gorgeous) in the audience. But the nudity in Monster's Ball had much more of a purpose, and Billy Bob Thorton didn't shy away from revealing himself either. In the scene in question, Berry's character doesn't want sex so much as a physical escape from the nightmare her life has become — her painful groaning of "make me feel good" is more sad than arousing.
But that's what helps elevate this sex scene to something really special. It is sad, and complicated — Thorton is, after all, a racist man, but he doesn't violently have sex with Berry, nor is it tender. These two just want to, well…"feel good". That it's also artfully shot by Marc Forster and gives us a heaping dose of Berry's amazing naked body is almost a bonus. The film contains other sex scenes and moments of Berry-boobs, but none are more potent than this scene. 
When I was asked to write a list of "hottest sex scenes", I quickly asked if I could change it to "best"; not only so I could include hilarious ones like the Team America raunchy-fest, but also so I could use something deeply troubling and creepy, like the infamous orgy scene from Kubrick's final film. It's hard to explain the feeling of the scene to anyone who hasn't seen it yet — mysterious, haunting, operatic, disturbing, freaky, and despite endless copulations and nudity, it's never remotely sexy. But who said a great sex scene has to be?
Tom Cruise wanders the halls of a large mansion during this orgy, where members of a black-robed cult get it on, and watch others get it on. He glides through, the opera music still ringing on the soundtrack, and we see MOST of what he sees (the film was unfortunately subjected to posthumous digital tinkering after Kubrick died, so most of the naughtiest bits are covered up with CGI cloaked figures). But even with a lot of the bodies being obscured, the scene is easily the stand-out sequence of the film — despite Eyes Wide Shut as a whole not being in the same league as Kubrick's other classics, there's no denying the power of these visceral five minutes.
This lurid 2001 melodrama is only still (barely) known for two things, and two things only — Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie have hot steamy sex, and….nope, nevermind, just one thing. That's really all this mediocre film has going for it; two of the sexiest leads in Hollywood do the naked mambo on more than one occasion, and as you're probably aware, any time Angelina Jolie was naked in the early 00's, it meant a LOT of people took notice.
Their sauciest scene, that alternates between a spinning ceiling view and close-ups of Banderas and Jolie's most famous bits and pieces, is campy, silly, soft-core hotness. It's one of the few not-funny ones in this list that has no deeper meaning, nor contain great acting; hell, both of the actors are hardly in love by this point in the movie, and are really only getting it on with at all so that we, in the audience, can marvel at the two specimens before us. Banderas shows less skin, of course (as most guys in a drama do), but Jolie is woman who generates sex appeal to both men and women.
There are two lesbian sex scenes in David Lynch's hallucinatory nightmare of a film; one is, as Ebert called it, a "masturbatory fantasy", and the other a "romantic dream". For my money, the best sex scene is the more romantic one, the first time Naomi Watts pushes past her nerves and kisses the mystery woman next to her, played with voluptous fun by Laura Elena Harring. Both women are incredibly sexy, yes, but it's the personalities within the scene that make it so memorable — Watts delicately reaching out, both of them unsure, tentative, but ready to go all the way with their innermost desires.
Despite an early trip-up in the sex scene by blurring out Harring's below-the-belt nudity (Lynch wanted to "protect" her, which doesn't make sense, and is distractingly obvious), Drive's first erotic scene is both tender, beautiful, and sexy as hell. The scene isn't chock full of nudity; yes, both women are topless (what else is new for Naomi Watts?), but the scene isn't about breasts, it's about the character's hands gingerly touching another woman's breasts for the first time. And their kissing is among the better romantic kissing scenes I've ever watched; lesbian or not, these two are deeply (and surprisingly) in love with each other, and that passion shows.
As I mentioned several times before, this isn't a list of hottest sex scenes; but if it WERE, Black Swan's infamous lesbian entanglement would still be at or near the top. Yes, it's also an intense and sometimes disturbing scene — certainly it pinpoints Natalie Portman's insanity becoming unstoppable, and the moments where Mila Kunis' back tattoo's move or her face turns into Portman's are kinda creepy and trippy.
But
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