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Previous research shows that people who masturbate are less satisfied with their sex lives, but the reason is unclear.
New research finds that women masturbate to complement their sex lives, while men do it to compensate.
Traditional attitudes about sexuality influence the connection between solo sex and sexual satisfaction.

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Our conversations are sprinkled with slips, pauses, lies, and clues to our inner world. Here’s what we reveal when we speak, whether we mean to or not.

Posted November 15, 2022

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Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

It’s a well-established finding that people in committed relationships are generally more satisfied with their sex lives than those who are not. The received wisdom is that having ready access to a sex partner is what makes people so happy in their relationships.
This point of view assumes that committed couples generally have as much sex as they want. However, we also know that a discrepancy in sexual desire is one of the most common reasons that couples seek counseling. Typically, the partner with the higher sex drive is quite unsatisfied with their sex life, and oftentimes the lower sex drive partner is, too. Clearly, just being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get your sexual needs met.
Likewise, people who aren’t in a relationship but do engage in frequent partnered sex also tend to report high levels of sexual satisfaction. This suggests that it’s the frequency of intercourse, or at least getting as much as you want, that leads to sexual satisfaction.
Another well-established finding is that people who masturbate frequently are less satisfied with their sex life than those who don’t. This is true both for those who are partnered and for those who are unpartnered. It could be that frequent masturbation dampens the desire for partnered sex, but it could also mean that they’re compensating for unmet sexual needs.
Yet even this finding falls apart on closer inspection. It is true that men who masturbate frequently do tend to report lower sexual satisfaction. At the same time, women who engage in lots of solo sex tend to report higher sexual satisfaction than women who don’t.
Clearly, we still lack a good understanding of how masturbation affects sexual satisfaction in a relationship. To gain greater insight into this issue, University of Oslo (Norway) psychologists Nantje Fischer and Bente Traeen surveyed over 4,000 Norwegian adults, ranging in age from 18-89 years, regarding their frequency of solo and partnered sex as well as their degree of sexual satisfaction.
The researchers found that the respondents fell into four clearly defined categories:
Each of these categories was associated with a different pattern of sexual behavior, and there were gender differences in each of the categories as well.
Not surprisingly, women who reported frequent partnered sex also reported high sexual satisfaction. But what was surprising was that they also tended to masturbate frequently. In general, these women had strong sexual appetites and were very open to new sexual experiences. For these women, masturbation was one way to enhance their overall sexual satisfaction. In other words, solo and partnered sex were complementary aspects of their sex lives.
Likewise, men who engaged in frequent partnered sex reported higher sexual satisfaction than those who didn’t. However, most of these men also reported little or no masturbation. In other words, men generally only reported high levels of solo sex when they weren’t getting as much partnered sex as they wanted. Furthermore, men who reported a lot of masturbation, especially while viewing porn , reported lower sexual satisfaction. This suggests that, in contrast with women, men use masturbation as compensation for the lack of partnered sex.
For both men and women, those who were in cohabiting relationships reported less masturbation than those who were unpartnered. There are several possible reasons for this. First, to the extent that having a live-in sex partner enabled them to meet their sexual needs, they felt less need to masturbate.
Even among those who were cohabiting but sexually dissatisfied, there was less masturbation than among those who were unattached. This could simply be due to a lack of privacy for solo sex. But it could also be due to attitudes about the inappropriateness of solo sex within a committed relationship. In fact, it’s not uncommon for partnered persons to report feelings of guilt about their autoerotic behaviors, nor is it unusual for the other person to feel betrayed when they catch their partner masturbating.
Fischer and Traeen also found, consistent with other studies and with common assumptions, that men are more likely to masturbate than women, and they do so more frequently. The researchers speculate that this difference may be due to traditional sexual scripts, in which men are supposed to have higher sex drives than women and have fewer reservations about engaging in solo sex when partnered sex is unavailable.
In contrast, according to the traditional script, women aren’t supposed to want sex as much as men do. Rather, they’re supposed to engage in intercourse to please their partner.
Even her achieving orgasm is supposed to be for him, to stroke his ego. If a woman engages in solo sex, then, it’s a sign that she has improper urges, something a “good girl” shouldn’t feel and certainly shouldn’t give into. Granted, people’s attitudes about sex have changed radically over the last 60 years, but the old stereotype of the man as the active partner and the woman as the passive one still persists.
Fischer and Traeen’s article, however, does end on a positive note. That is, most of the men and women in this study were generally satisfied with their sex lives. In fact, the category of high sexual satisfaction and low masturbation was the largest by far for both men and women. Likewise, the categories with low sexual satisfaction and either high or low masturbation were the smallest for both genders. That, in itself, is encouraging news.
Fischer, N. & Traeen, B. (2022). A seemingly paradoxical relationship between masturbation frequency and sexual satisfaction. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Advanced online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-022-02305-8
David Ludden, Ph.D. , is a professor of psychology at Georgia Gwinnett College.

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Our conversations are sprinkled with slips, pauses, lies, and clues to our inner world. Here’s what we reveal when we speak, whether we mean to or not.

The Sex Party review – spiky comedy fails to satisfy
Bigotry in the bedroom … Timothy Hutton and Pooya Mohseni in The Sex Party. Photograph: Alastair Muir
Timothy Hutton on The Sex Party: ‘Do I think it will be controversial? I don’t know …’
Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning
© 2022 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. (modern)
Menier Chocolate Factory, London There’s tension in Terry Johnson’s tale of four couples meeting for sex and nibbles but the unruly debate isn’t deep enough
A t first, The Sex Party looks like a retro BBC sitcom about swingers, although that term is banned at this adult shindig. Four couples collect for sex and nibbles at a cool north London postcode. There is gleeful talk about getting it on and a fair share of parading around in lingerie and thigh boots.
But Terry Johnson’s spiky comedy takes us from the familiar fare of smut and sniggering double entendres to something bolder and more awkward in the sex/gender debate at its centre, even if it does not reach a satisfying end.
We only ever see what happens in the high-end kitchen (set designed by Tim Shortall) but we get a vivid idea of the action in the living room from the moans and groans we hear. In a production also directed by Johnson, the acting stays fine across the board although the characters are flimsy (Lisa Dwan especially does wonders with her part) and the star casting of Timothy Hutton stays strangely marginal for too long. He drifts on and off stage, saying little and looking like a cliched California guru in yoga pants.
The dialogue often goes off on random, unruly riffs; one character (Will Barton) talks about taking MDMA and the dialogue sounds under the influence too.
The play’s grenade is lobbed as the first act closes, with the entry of Lucy (Pooya Mohseni), a trans woman, and from here on in it feels like another play altogether. Doris Lessing, in a Penguin introduction to Lady Chatterley’s Lover, wrote that what happens in the bedroom is a “report on the sex war” outside it and it seems to be the case with this living room; suddenly, no one wants to convene there and a very live tension is in the air.
Much is flung at us, from talk of toilets to language and JK Rowling and it feels genuinely edgy. It is brave of Johnson to grapple with a debate that has become so divisive that a meeting of this kind would be unimaginable in real life. But arguments come thick and fast without being explored. Johnson seems to be shooting an arrow through the issues of the day – including, too briefly, consent – but it comes to feel like a dramatised version of Twitter.
The room exposes its bigots and we finally see the point of Hutton’s character but as more plot-points are lobbed at us in the closing moments it feels much less like a sitcom than an entire series rolled into one production.

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More stories to check out before you go
TROUTDALE, Ore. (KPTV) - A teacher at Reynolds High School in Troutdale was arrested Friday evening following an investigation into online sexual predators, according to the Bend Police Department.
Edward Hernandez-Corchado, 26, is facing charges of first-degree online sexual corruption of a child, third-degree attempted rape, third-degree attempted sodomy, third-degree attempted encouraging child sex abuse, attempted contributing to the sexual delinquency of a minor, and luring a minor for sexual conduct.
The investigation began on November 4 when a Bend police officer began online messaging with Hernandez-Corchado. Police said the officer was posing as a 15-year-old girl from Central Oregon.
Hernandez-Corchado continued to contact the officer thinking he was a teenage girl and made sexual statements, according to police. He then began making plans to meet up in person at the Target on Highway 97 in Bend.
On Nov. 11, the undercover officer and Hernandez-Corchado arranged to meet at 8 p.m., so he could take her to a hotel. Police said Hernandez-Corchado specifically traveled from Portland to Bend intending to commit sexual acts with an underage girl.
Hernandez-Corchado was arrested when he arrived at the Target. He has been booked into the Deschutes County Jail
According to police, Hernandez-Corchado is a social studies teacher at Reynolds High School. FOX 12 has reached out to the Reynolds School District for comment. The district said they are aware of the arrest and Hernandez-Corchado has been placed on leave during the ongoing investigation..
Bend police believe there may be additional victims. Anyone with information is asked to contact the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office tip line at 503-988-0560.
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