Sex 2021
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Sex 2021
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Published: 08:30 BST, 30 December 2020 | Updated: 09:50 BST, 30 December 2020
Goodbye 2020 - and good riddance for most of us.
I doubt you'd find a person in the world whose life hasn't been touched by Covid-19 . It's affected our jobs, our friendships, our interactions - and most of all our relationships and our sex lives.
Some have struggled, some have thrived. But after a year of Zoom sex, online dates and 'Are you sure it's OK to do it doggie-style, darling? You were on the tube today', surely there's good news for our sex lives for the year ahead?
That depends on your particular predilection, but I think we'll all be happy to know…
Sexpert Tracey Cox has revealed the sex trends she think will boom in the coming year (stock image)
In the beginning of lockdown, couples rejoiced in having time to rediscover each other's bodies. As the months wore on, weariness set in. Too much time - more specifically, too much time together - meant lust took a nose dive and Covid bed death became a 'thing'.
Research by UK sex toy retailer Lovehoney found 52 per cent of couples had more adventurous sex during the crisis, using the isolation to try new things like role play, car sex, sex games and erotic fantasies.
More importantly, 71 per cent said they'll continue with their new sex routines once the crisis ends.
Tracey (pictured) has predicted that we will have more adventurous sex including 'power play'
More people will experiment with their sexuality
AdultFriendFinder (AFF), a casual sex dating site, saw a dramatic increase in users who identify as bisexual on their site this year, particularly among its male users.
The 2020 health crisis made all of us aware that time is short. Some people finally decided to call time on lacklustre or toxic relationships, others decided it went deeper than just being with the wrong partner and reflected on their sexual identities.
Once hooking up is safe and legal again, AFF predict more people may want to test out being with different people. This can come in all different shapes and sizes, girl on girl, guy on guy, a little bit of both, and beyond.
Experimenting is a strong theme for 2021…
'Pegging' and power play will be more popular
Searches for 'What is BDSM' are up by 70 per cent. (That's bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism, in case you were one of the people typing it. All are forms of power play).
The BDSM dating app KinkD asked almost 3,500 users to reveal their top kink during lockdown, and cyber play or virtual domination - online role play of BDSM scenes - won by a long shot.
Pegging - stereotypically when a female wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate her male partner - was the hottest sex trend of 2020.
Sales of strap-ons were up by nearly 200 per cent in 2020. Ten percent of 1,000 women in a UK poll admitted to pegging their partner and one in ten said they'd like to try it.
There was even a pegging scene in the hit superhero movie Deadpool.
Contrary to those who think it means the guy must be secretly gay, pegging's popularity is more down to the buzz of reversing sexual roles and stimulation of the male G-spot, the prostate gland.
Long-distance and virtual relationships will rise
If lockdown taught us anything, it's made us realise you don't need to physically be in the room with someone to enjoy their company. (Hands up, who had a Zoom family Christmas?)
This has made us more open to virtual and long-distance relationships.
Dating app Plenty of Fish found half of all its users set their location preferences to 'anywhere': more than ever before.
There were other positive relationship knock-ons.
Sixty-six per cent said they valued deeper conversation more than they did pre-Covid. Seven in ten said they'd be happy to go on a virtual date even when restrictions are lifted and 33 per cent would now be open to a long distance relationship.
Badoo says video dating is so common now, a virtual date will become the normal first step before meeting in the flesh.
Sex toy sales will continue to soar
Sex toy retailers the world over were one of the few winners of 2020.
Forty two per cent of people used sex toys more frequently during the crisis, according to Lovehoney, and 33 per cent bought new sex toys during lockdown. Not surprisingly, especially for singles stranded solo, 44 per cent said they masturbated more.
The most popular Covid sex toys? Vibrators were number one. Dildos, couple's toys, male 'strokers' (silicone sleeves that fit over the penis), butt plugs and love rings for couples followed.
Once you've tried one sex toy, you nearly always buy more and sales are continuing to spike. Traditionally something people used in private, couple toy sales also exploded this year and the trend is expected to continue in 2021.
We'll consider getting back with an ex
If you reached out to or heard from an ex during lockdown, you're not alone. I heard from three exes I haven't had contact with in almost a decade!
Lockdown had the same effect as the breakdown of a long-term relationship: if we're suddenly lonely, we think about other people in our lives who made us happy. We then air-brush the relationship, as well as try to dust it off, and decide our ex was the true love of our lives and we should try to reconnect.
One study found one in five had personally reached out to one or more exes since the pandemic; one in four had heard from an ex and most replied.
It's not just because people were sex-starved, bored or wanting to rekindle old flames. Lots of people simply wanted to make sure the person they loved (or still love) was safe.
We'll move our obsession with orgasms to sexual mindfulness
If you were lucky enough to get furloughed and didn't have children to home school, chances are you indulged in some kind of 'mindfulness'.
A housebound population suddenly appreciated trees and fresh air, others the cathartic appeal of cooking, yoga or meditation.
This translated well in the bedroom.
Being not just in the room but in the moment, stops 'spectatoring'. This is when you're so anxiously imagining how you're performing or looking during sex, you forget to actually enjoy it.
Mindfulness also involves shifting the focus from an orgasm each to simply appreciating giving or receiving pleasure.
A better sex year all round then! No matter what your age…
Older women will enjoy more sex and better sex
I spent most of 2020 talking to people over 50 about their sex lives for my book, Great Sex Starts at 50. So can confirm that a US study that found one in four women want a good sex life after menopause, is indeed true.
Advances in health care, changes in societal attitudes towards sex and ageing and a generation of more sexually liberated women all add up to people being far more sexually active - and satisfied - in midlife.
With 'hot menopause' being the topic of every second podcast, blog and book, it's one trend that's unlikely to cool.
US social psychologist Justin Lehmiller found interesting results from a study he started mid-March (2020), following up with participants every 2-4 weeks afterwards.
When he asked what the future might hold relationship or sex wise, four in ten people expected at least some things to change post-pandemic.
Being choosier about who we sleep with is, not surprisingly, one of them.
Sixteen per cent said they will be more selective about their sexual partners and 13 per cent said they'll spent a longer time getting to know people before having sex with them. Fifteen per cent said they'll communicate more about sexual risks with partners.
'The second we're all vaccinated, it's not just my mask that's coming off. My clothes are as well,' declares a single friend, who hasn't had sex for a year.
Yes, she's more mindful of the things humans can pass onto each other. Yes, she's learned to appreciate her own company, knows how to sexually satisfy herself and will of course practise safe sex in all senses.
She will also make sure the first man she sleeps with is as hot as she is.
But make no mistake about it, she will be out there.
Lots of relationships became more serious during the pandemic.
It will be interesting to see how many remain so once the vaccine is rolled out and the R-number falls.
Anecdotal evidence suggests singles are longing for the comfort of physical contact and joy of sex and cannot wait to get back out there.
You'll find Tracey's new book, Great Sex Starts at 50, wherever good books are sold. Traceycox.com has more information about sex and love and Tracey's two product ranges.
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Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group
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Stream these when you need, um, a steamy moment.
Somehow, someway, 2021 is already behind us. And now that we’re in the middle of winter and all bunkering down indoors in our finest sweats, it seems like everyone is in desperate need of a little sexy time. With summer flings now being just a fading, distant memory, it would be helpful to have a sexy TV show to throw on every once in a while when you’re feeling, you know, in the mood.
Well, the sex gods of Hollywood definitely felt the need to be kind to us last year, because there’s a lot of content to sift through when you’re just feeling yourself. Looking for a comedy? Yes, there’s a sexy show out there for you. Ever wondered exactly what it took to get off in 18th-century Scotland? Well, honestly, it’s not so different than now, but hey—there’s definitely a show that has you covered. And don’t get me started on the wonder that is Bridgerton . Anyway, we decided to curate the sexiest shows for you to stream from 2021. We’ll be waiting for the inevitable thank-you coming our way.
The Sex Lives of College Girls is all about exactly what you think it is: a group of college roommates navigating their newfound freedom (sexual and otherwise) after they move away from their homes and onto campus. The show was created by Mindy Kaling, so you know it’ll bring the lols.
Season 2 of Emily in Paris FINALLY dropped and it has all the hot sexual tension (and actual sex) with a chiseled Parisian chef that you could ever ask for—and so much more!
The third season of You has a lot (and I mean A LOT) going on, and that even includes a whole bunch of sexy scenes. Sure, they may involve a few murderers, but you kind of forget that part when it’s the stunning Penn Badgley and Victoria Pedretti who are on the screen.
It took a few years for the second season of The Witcher to come out, but OMG, the wait was worth it. If you like your sexy with a side of fantasy, then this is definitely the show for you. It’s packed with plenty of full-on sex scenes that leave very little to the imagination, if you know what I mean.
If you’re not familiar with Love Life , you 100,000 percent should be. It’s an anthology series that follows, you guessed it, one person’s whole love life. The new season that dropped a few months ago stars William Jackson Harper as a book editor named Marcus, and as you can probably imagine, going through someone’s love life means plenty o’ sexual encounters.
Having that super-hot and steamy ex you just so happen to have been fantasizing about pop back up in your life sounds pretty great, right? Oh, except you’re a married suburban mom now so, er, maybe not so much! But that’s the entire premise of Sex/Life , and let me tell you, it’s a good one.
Gossip Girl is back, baby! And this time, it’s on HBO, so you know what that means: even more steamy scenes. It follows a whole new group of extremely wealthy students at Constance/St. Jude’s, and although they’re not all from the Upper East Side this time, it still has all the tension and love triangles we’ve come to expect from GG.
After a public scandal, Swedish prince Wilhelm gets sent away to a fancy boarding school where he meets fellow student Simon and starts to fall for him. But when a tragic accident changes the course of Whilhelm’s life, he struggles with hiding his sexuality.
This show ’s really got it all. There are class differences at a swanky private school, oodles of sexual chemistry, and, oh, a murder. The fourth season just came out this year, so if you need something lengthy to binge, this is it.
IMHO, Sex Education is one of the best shows on Netflix right now. It follows Otis, a super socially awkward, not at all sexually experienced teen whose mom just so happens to be a sex therapist. And once his classmates find that out, they start asking him for sex advice…so, naturally, he opens up his own makeshift practice in the school’s abandoned bathroom.
Struggling writer Valeria is also in the midst of a struggling marriage with her husband, Adri, who isn’t exactly supportive of her dreams. And then she meets Victor. He’s a mysterious, smoking-hot new man who not only totally gets her desire to be a writer but also has her feeling all kinds of hot and bothered.
If you somehow haven’t heard of Bridgerton , I must ask…where have you been the past few months?? This show is a sexual awakening for everyone, and the scene where Simon does some things to his bride on a ladder? I’m not about to spoil it for you, but yeah, you’ll definitely be feeling the heat after bingeing this.
Okay, so this show has technically been around since 2014. But there’s a very good reason people are continuously devoted to it, and it’s two words: JAMIE. FRASER. That man is a walking sex god, and coupled with the fact that he’s a Scottish Highlander from the 18th century? I don’t think I have to explain myself.
It’s the TV show that basically broke Netflix last summer, and based on the premise, it makes sense. Why wouldn’t you be interested in watching couples try not to have sex with each other in order to gain a cash prize? It’s both a competition and a constant question of “Will they or won’t they?” There’s always one hookup you’re bound to never see coming.
Huh. Who knew a modern take of the Angel of Hell becoming an L.A. nightclub owner and a homicide consultant would be oh so sexy? Um, apparently everybody knew that. And given the amount of times Tom Ellis is naked in Lucifer , I’d say you should learn about it too.
So technically , this is considered a teen show, according to Netflix. But in between some extremely moody adolescents and some maybe messed-up adults (I mean, really , Georgia?), there’s a tale of first love…including a very awkward first-time moment, which might make you happy about your own experience.
A 40something woman decides to pretend she’s 26, has sex with a hot tattoo artist, and somehow falls in love with the head of the publishing house she works for. Sounds juicy already, right?
Based on the novel of the same name, this show puts the drama at a Chicago ballet school at its very center. And when the students find themselves having wild and erotic sex on their dorm room beds? Consider it an added bonus.
You might not have heard of this show, but the sexy Mexican thriller quickly became a hit on Netflix when it premiered in July 2020. And with all the sex and suspense throughout, it’s no real surprise to see the show renewed for yet another season.
Sure, the plot of the show is about a fractured relationship between two best friends, but there are some very fun sex scenes throughout, which means you definitely, absolutely need to try it.
I personally think the title of the show gives away the premise, but that’s not why it’s on this list. The Spanish mystery series has all the elements of a hot show: a man constantly plotting revenge, someone being framed for murder, and—oh yeah—lots of tantalizing sex. You’re welcome.
Based on the life of famed poet Emily Dickinson, the show explores 19th-century society, gender, and LGBTQ+ love, all from the perspective of a woman who wants to be free from the norms of her time. And if that isn’t intriguing enough, just know you’ll also probably be hot and bothered once you get to all the sex scenes. Trust me—there are a lot of them.
So the show might’ve debuted on Hulu a year ago, but it’s one you need to see if you’re a devoted television watcher. Oh, and if you weren’t aware, the sex scenes are so realistic that they deserve an award all on their own.
Sure, this might be a modern take on the famous Archie comics, and TBH, the show is going in all sorts of weird directions lately…but as with basically every hot teen show, there’s a lot of sex involved. And it looks like the shower is just the tip of the sex iceberg.
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