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History of Sex in Cinema:
The Greatest and Most Influential
Sexual Films and Scenes
(Illustrated)
Director Alexander Payne's R-rated
drama included a landmark, infamous, much-talked about nude hot tub scene.
In the scene, divorced, sexually-liberated, free-spirited, middle-aged, and
overweight Roberta Hertzel (Kathy Bates), the mother of the groom-to-be, casually stepped into the tub naked with recently-retired and widowed actuary Warren Schmidt (Jack Nicholson), the father of the bride.
Bates' real-life, plump, 'earth mother' body type was a strong and courageous contrast to the slim young ones usually exhibited
on the screen.
Director Spike Jonz' brilliant comedy/drama was often
bewildering, twisting and turning.
It opened with the sped-up scene of the evolutionary
creation of the cosmos and man from Hollywood (from Four Billion
And Forty Years Earlier) to the present that concluded with the close-up
of a childbirth.
In the main story, struggling (writer's blocked)
screenwriter Charlie Kaufman (Nicolas Cage) shared many scenes
with his fictional, freeloading alter-ego twin brother Donald Kaufman
(Cage in a dual role). He was working with Columbia Pictures on writing
a movie adaptation of New
Yorker author
Susan Orlean's (Meryl Streep in an against-type role) 1998 nonfiction
book The Orchid Thief .
During his efforts to write a simple and acceptable
'Hollywood' screenplay, insomniac Kaufman masturbated while imagining
having sex with Susan Orlean from her picture on her book cover (while
adapting her book for the screen) and taking her advice:
"I was starting to believe the reason it matters
to care passionately about something, is that it whittles the world
down to a more manageable size."
With his brother Donald, Charlie pursued
and spied on her, and discovered her snorting
lines of mind-altering, ghost-orchid green extract, getting high,
and committing adultery in an extra-marital affair with a secret
lover - the real Florida orchid thief John Laroche (Chris Cooper)
in his Florida Everglades swamp home. Horticulturalist Laroche and
some Seminole Indians were poaching rare ghost-orchids from a Florida
State Preserve. After falling in love with Laroche and snorting drugs,
Orlean's world-view changed. He posted a topless photograph (doctored!)
of Susan Orlean on his pornography website (was it imagined?). At
one point, she screamed at Charlie: "YOU
FAT PIECE OF S--T!...YOU LOSER. You've ruined my life, YOU FAT F--K." He
matter-of-factly replied: "F--K YOU, LADY.
You're just a lonely, old, desperate, pathetic DRUG ADDICT."
In the Florida Everlades swamp in the thriller-ending,
the two brothers were hotly pursued by Laroche and the adulterous
Susan after she madly wanted to kill him for witnessing her drug
habit and extra-marital affair. Charlie received
profound advice from Donald as they hid behind a stump: "You
are what you love, not what loves you." Donald 'died'
when thrown through Charlie's car windshield (this extinguished Charlie's
alter-ego forever, and gave Charlie new confidence). Laroche was
attacked and killed by an alligator, after which Susan madly exclaimed: "I
want my life back. I want it back before it all got f--ked up. I
want to be a baby again. I want to be new. I WANT TO BE NEW." Orlean
was arrested.
Upon his return home, Charlie met with pretty ex-dating
partner Amelia Kavan (Cara Seymour) and openly admitted his affection
for her by kissing her (with her own confession: "I love you,
too, you know"). In the last lines of the film, long-suffering
scriptwriter Charlie Kaufman finally realized how to finish his script
for The Orchid Thief , after honestly expressing his love for Amelia
and for once being filled with hope.
Also in an earlier fantasy scene, Charlie
Kaufman had the key-lime pie waitress Alice (Judy
Greer) open her top for him out behind the restaurant.
Amadeus (1984) and Amadeus
(2002)
In this PG-rated Best Picture winner of 1984, Elizabeth
Berridge portrayed playful Constanze Mozart whom the musical prodigy
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Tom Hulce) chased lustfully around and
under a food table during his long-anticipated entrance in the
film.
A Director's Cut version, with 20 minutes of additional
footage (considered superfluous to the main plotline), was released
by Milos Forman in 2002.
The longer version was R-rated for its brief nudity
and mild profanity - Constanze Mozart briefly displayed topless
nudity in a non-sexual context, when she undressed
(and became half-naked) in front of competing rival, court composer
Antonio Salieri (F. Murray Abraham), as a way to hopefully bribe
Salieri into recommending Mozart's work for a royal appointment.
Greg Kinnear starred in director
Paul Schrader's compelling dramatic biography and cautionary tale of
mid-60s
Hogan's Heroes sitcom TV star Bob Crane (from 1965-1971).
He became the unlikely star of a politically-incorrect WWII prison
camp POW comedy - an instant hit. The film was based upon Robert
Graysmith's book The
Murder of Bob Crane ,
from a screenplay by Michael Gerbosi. It was edited in post-production
to avoid an NC-17 rating.
Crane's self-absorbed and sordid life spiraled out
of control due to his rapid stardom and a compulsive addiction to
sex - a "very serious conflict here between (his) your lifestyle
and (his) your career." He allied himself with John Henry Carpenter
(Willem Dafoe), a home video salesman and technician, for much of
his life, as both found pleasure in strip clubs and extramarital
sex (and obsessively recording and viewing their escapades). (Carpenter
was a prime suspect in Crane's murder, but was not found guilty.)
First, he hid "shady magazines" such
as Nature Girls 1965 ("photography magazines" he
claimed) in his garage, then frequented strip clubs, and entered into
an 'open marriage' arrangement with one of his Hogan's co-stars
Patricia Olson (Maria Bello) (with the professional stage name of
Sigrid Valdis), a native Californian of Swedish descent whom he eventually
married (in 1970) after an off-screen affair when she appeared as a
regular cast member.
In one of Crane's
nightmares or fantasy hallucinations during filming of the sitcom,
he reimagined a scene in the show with Patricia in a blonde
wig and pigtails in the role of Hilda, Col. Klink's sexy blonde secretary.
She approached: "I'm ready for you, Hogan...It'll be a modern
marriage. Klink and Schultzie can join in too. Come on, Hogan. F--k
me right here!" - she stripped down, and reclined on Klink's desk
- with her long, fishnet covered legs extended as the Colonel started
pawing at her breasts. Carpenter appeared with a hand-held video
camera and urged Crane on to engage in the three-way sex sequence:
"Go for it, Big Daddy. I got you covered." The conflicted Hogan/Crane
was also urged on by his wife and kids, and then had
a flashback to when he was 12 years old: "Go balls deep, pop!" He
declined: "No, I can't. Klink, tell me what to do. What's the answer?"
Klink shouted back: "The answer? We don't have answers. We're Nazis!
Dismissed! Dismissed, Hogan!"
Crane also videotaped
and took Polaroid pictures of nudes for a scrapbook, filmed
sex acts, attended naked pool and house parties, and went about having
a penis enlargement operation.
As he was describing (in voice-over) to an interviewer about why he had such a successful marriage, he was seen having sex with various partners, including a threesome:
"Three words: Don't - make - waves. As every sailor knows, when one set of waves meets another set of waves, it can set up some chop. And when three sets of waves come together, it can make for some mighty rough sailing. Also helps sometimes to have a harmless safety valve. So when I get tense, I blow off steam. And so, when it comes to my own family, I don't make waves."
In a scene set at one of the sex parties, Crane photographed
a young fan (Kitana Baker),
taking her picture as she said "Schmile!" while she lifted
her blouse to reveal her breasts to him. He smiled and complimented
her: "Really
great." He then expressed, in voice-over, his obsession with breasts,
during a visual montage of different sizes, varieties and shapes:
"I'm a normal, red-blooded American man.
I like to look at naked women. I love breasts, any kind. I love 'em!
Boobs, bazooms, balloons, bags, bazongas. The bigger, the better.
Nipples like udders, nipples like saucers, big pale rosy-brown
nipples. Little bitty baby nipples. Real or fake, what's the difference?
I like tits. Who's kidding who? Tits are great!"
He frequently visited strip-bars, where he watched
performers such as the Porcelain Twinz (Zero and Zen) (Heather and
Amber). Drinking abuses led to indebtedness, particularly after Hogan's
Heroes was cancelled in 1971, and he appeared in a show of
his own ( The Bob Crane Show (1975) ) and two awful Disney movies
( Superdad (1973) and Gus
(1976) ).
Everything led, in part, up to his unsolved murder
in 1978. The 49 year-old was found beaten to death (and strangled
with a video cable or electrical
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