Sex 17 Years

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Hi, I know I shouldn't feel like this but I am devastated. My daughter, age 17, told me 2 days ago that for the last few months she's been taking the pill. She's been with her boyfriend for 2 years. They rarely go anywhere. Once a week she goes to visit him and they spend a few hours just in his house. I feel physically sick about this news. I can't look at her without getting upset. Things will never be the same again. I also feel like an idiot as she is the last person I expected to be doing what she's doing at her age. What's worse, I've been taking her and picking her up. I am also angry because the bf has had everything handed to him on a late, she goes round every week to throw herself at him, not to go out and have funny etc.

How n earth do I deal with this. Any suggestions please?
It was bound to happen sometime. You need to remember she is turning into a young woman. At least she is being careful by taking the pill. My mum took me to the doctors at 14 for the pill (she said it was for my period pains but i knew she was worried about this lad who was after me, he was a nutcase)
I no it must be hard but at least she has told you about it. She is not doing anythin wrong, she is actually being very sensible
She's 17. Next year she could be away at university sh@gging a different bloke (or girl) every night of the week.
12 yr old daughter has had sex. Help!!!
I'm sorry but I think you need to be reasonable and your response at the moment isn't really that.
If she was underage I could understand your reaction but she is a young woman, she's in a long term relationship and being sensible.... What did you expect exactly? How is that a disappointment?

My dd is 17, been with her boyfriend 2 years and on the pill. She is a great girl, I love her with all my heart and am very proud of the person that she is.

As I say, if your dd was 14 I would completely empathise but she is 17 and I think you need to realise that you are being unfair to her.

Your values maybe different to hers but that doesn't make her wrong. She is becoming an adult and has the right to choose her own values and morals. I'm sure you have raised her well and that she has lots about her to make you proud.

L xx
Sorry but it goin happy I been with my partner since teens we ad our first kid when I was 17.
Just be greatfull she told you and she taken her self to the doctors to make sure she dont get pregnant and is safe.
And there is younger girls out ther havin sex.

katie s
She's 17 and been in a steady relationship and being safe.

I think you are over reacting a bit OP.
Pressed send to soon..

I would talk to her about the importance of continuing to be safe and reassure her that if she has any problems/questions you're there for her.
Gosh she's 17 and sleeping with a long term boyfriend - did you want her to be a nun or something

I'm sure she is doing other things with her bf too - watching films etc.

To put it in perspective she is sleeping with her longterm bf, she is over the age of consent, she is using contraception and she has spoken to you about it. In terms of rebellious teenage behaviour I'd say it's pretty tame.

To say you can't look at her the same is a bit odd really - would you prefer not to have known about it?
She is above the age of consent, has obviously thought things through, has a "steady" relationship ... and most importantly, she's told YOU. You need to get your thoughts straight. She is a young woman starting out in life, we have all had to start on the first rung, the difference is she is YOUR baby! I think its great that she's telling you - too many teens don't communicate with parents - let her know you are there to support her and can offer advice etc.
Found out 15 year old daughter has had sex with 16 year old boyfriend
Caught my 14 yr old Daughter having sex in my house
I also think you're disrespecting your daughter by saying she is throwing herself at her boyfriend.
At least she's had the common sense to start taking the pill!
How many girls these days end up pregnant by "accident"
She's been responsible and adult enough to think ahead and choose a boy she loves. Be proud of her I'd say
So you're upset that your daughter has been open, honest and taking precautions? She's 17. She's not a child anymore.

I didn't sleep with my first boyfriend (my now husband!) til I was 18 and I don't think my parents were too happy about that either but then I always figured that was because I was a pretty good kid otherwise. They like you could have had a promiscuous, drug taking, drunk 13 year old like some of my friends but they didn't so in all honesty they didn't know what disappointment was when it came to me!

If my own DD follows that path too, I'll be happy that I raised a sensible young lady, not fret over something so silly as growing up.

If I'm honest, I can't say I'd want to the think of my kids dtd at 17...but then I probably won't when they're 30 either!


Also, so what if they don't do anything? They're teenagers! Let them be. Me and DH never did much either but that's not to say I regret anything. Most of my friends were out getting ratarsed and on the pull. Oh yes, I missed out on so much!! She's 17 she has plenty of time for fun and adventures yet.
I started having sex at 17 and tbh I was older than most of my friends when they started. Its over the legal age of consent, she's mature and sensible enough to take the pill and a really good thing is that she's spoken to you about it. It shows that she must trust you and can confide in you. If you go off on one you may lose this trust and your daughter won't tell you things anymore and feel like she can't approach you. I know its daunting that your daughter is growing up but please see it that she's being safe and sensible. X
Worrying about my 17 year old daughter
Hi, I know I shouldn't feel like this but I am devastated. My daughter, age 17, told me 2 days ago that for the last few months she's been taking the pill. She's been with her boyfriend for 2 years. They rarely go anywhere. Once a week she goes to visit him and they spend a few hours just in his house. I feel physically sick about this news. I can't look at her without getting upset. Things will never be the same again. I also feel like an idiot as she is the last person I expected to be doing what she's doing at her age. What's worse, I've been taking her and picking her up. I am also angry because the bf has had everything handed to him on a late, she goes round every week to throw herself at him, not to go out and have funny etc.

How n earth do I deal with this. Any suggestions please?
I must admit I'm suprised at your reaction.

I completely get that you're upset as your girl is sexually active, it's a massive thing for any parent. But look at all the positives, she told you, she didnt have to! She's sensible to go on the pill and this is a long term relationship. Also she is legally allowed to, it's not like she's underage.

I think you blaming her bf like this is very unfair. Taking advantage? If he was doing that he would have left her 2 years ago when she wouldn't sleep with him! They've obviously discussed it and I think have been very sensible. Your daughter is just as much to 'blame' as he is!

And like another person said, what a shame that you are talking about your daughter in such a way.
It could be worse.

I lost my virginity at 17 to a guy I met at a bus stop on a one night stand. I was upset as all my friends had abandoned me on a night out and part of me wanted to get it over and done with. I went to a catholic girls school which didnt help. The next morning I found out my parents had called the police and were frantic with worry. I said I had stayed with some friends. Its a decision I do regret.

Your daughter sounds like she is in a loving relationship. She has been with this person for two years and she is clearly trying to be responsible by taking the pill. She also trusted you enough to share this information with you so she obviously thinks highly of your relationship.
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