Sewn Up Pussies

Sewn Up Pussies
True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men

Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

12-11-2014, 01:35 AM

Brothers in Christ,

As some of you know by now, Rebekah and I have been trying unsuccessfully over the last two years to have another son. We even turned to secular doctors at one point, since my wife claimed that's what the Holy Spirit had told her that's what we needed to do. More recently, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was deep in prayer, telling my that my wife's ovaries have pretty much dried up like raisins. So it looks like God has decided that five sons is enough. Rebekah and I thought differently for a while, but when we can't understand His ways, we may yet rejoice in His promises.

Since we will no longer be bringing new Soldiers for Christ into the world, we clearly no longer have any use for genitalia. At best, it just gets in the way. But far too often, they lead people into temptation. Salvation is serious business, and neither of us are willing to jeopardize our place praising and grovelling at the feet of the LORD for all eternity, singing Him praise songs and hosanas.

Matthew 18:7-9
Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

In my case, it's fairly straightforward and should satisfy all the requirements of Matthew 19:12 . Dr. Jones has agreed to perform the procedure, and I should be back up and moving around in time for worship services the following Sunday, assuming the stitches hold up.

However, it sounds like there are more risks involved with sewing my wife's vagina up once and for all. Dr. Jones thinks that it would go rancid and declined to perform the procedure. While it is certainly a risk, I'm more than willing to pay for antibiotics whenever she has a flair-up, and besides, can you really let something trivial like septic shock stand in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to increase unto Holiness and prove to the LORD how much we are willing to go through to please Him?

Should we maybe just scoop the whole apparatus out instead of just sealing it off? Would she still be able to walk? Is there some kind of medical-grade cement we could use instead? What about putting some kind of torch on a tube with a little camera up there and just cauterizing the whole thing from the inside out? Would it be safe to sew her vagina shut then?

Hopefully when we figure this all out, I can write a journal article about it so that the practice can become more widespread among Christian women who are no longer able to have children and, therefore, have no need for their vaginas.

II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power

The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. - R.J. Rushdoony

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

12-11-2014, 02:35 AM

It possibly depends somewhat on whether she still need to spend some time each month in the menstra hut. If that is one or two years behind her, the procedure should be fairly straight forward. But if she's still expelling the demons on a monthly basis, she'll need what the secularists call a hysterectomy performed beforehand.

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

12-11-2014, 03:33 AM

Why not a hysterectomy for her and a bilateral orchiectomy for you? You'll need testosterone replacement though... man juice.....

Location: In the midst of His Will®

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

12-11-2014, 04:16 AM

Brothers in Christ,

As some of you know by now, Rebekah and I have been trying unsuccessfully over the last two years to have another son. We even turned to secular doctors at one point, since my wife claimed that's what the Holy Spirit had told her that's what we needed to do. More recently, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was deep in prayer, telling my that my wife's ovaries have pretty much dried up like raisins. So it looks like God has decided that five sons is enough. Rebekah and I thought differently for a while, but when we can't understand His ways, we may yet rejoice in His promises.

Since we will no longer be bringing new Soldiers for Christ into the world, we clearly no longer have any use for genitalia. At best, it just gets in the way. But far too often, they lead people into temptation. Salvation is serious business, and neither of us are willing to jeopardize our place praising and grovelling at the feet of the LORD for all eternity, singing Him praise songs and hosanas.

Matthew 18:7-9
Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

In my case, it's fairly straightforward and should satisfy all the requirements of Matthew 19:12 . Dr. Jones has agreed to perform the procedure, and I should be back up and moving around in time for worship services the following Sunday, assuming the stitches hold up.

However, it sounds like there are more risks involved with sewing my wife's vagina up once and for all. Dr. Jones thinks that it would go rancid and declined to perform the procedure. While it is certainly a risk, I'm more than willing to pay for antibiotics whenever she has a flair-up, and besides, can you really let something trivial like septic shock stand in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to increase unto Holiness and prove to the LORD how much we are willing to go through to please Him?

Should we maybe just scoop the whole apparatus out instead of just sealing it off? Would she still be able to walk? Is there some kind of medical-grade cement we could use instead? What about putting some kind of torch on a tube with a little camera up there and just cauterizing the whole thing from the inside out? Would it be safe to sew her vagina shut then?

Hopefully when we figure this all out, I can write a journal article about it so that the practice can become more widespread among Christian women who are no longer able to have children and, therefore, have no need for their vaginas.

South of the Border outreach program True Christian™

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

12-12-2014, 06:19 AM

Brothers in Christ,

As some of you know by now, Rebekah and I have been trying unsuccessfully over the last two years to have another son. We even turned to secular doctors at one point, since my wife claimed that's what the Holy Spirit had told her that's what we needed to do. More recently, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was deep in prayer, telling my that my wife's ovaries have pretty much dried up like raisins. So it looks like God has decided that five sons is enough. Rebekah and I thought differently for a while, but when we can't understand His ways, we may yet rejoice in His promises.

Since we will no longer be bringing new Soldiers for Christ into the world, we clearly no longer have any use for genitalia. At best, it just gets in the way. But far too often, they lead people into temptation. Salvation is serious business, and neither of us are willing to jeopardize our place praising and grovelling at the feet of the LORD for all eternity, singing Him praise songs and hosanas.

Matthew 18:7-9
Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

In my case, it's fairly straightforward and should satisfy all the requirements of Matthew 19:12 . Dr. Jones has agreed to perform the procedure, and I should be back up and moving around in time for worship services the following Sunday, assuming the stitches hold up.

However, it sounds like there are more risks involved with sewing my wife's vagina up once and for all. Dr. Jones thinks that it would go rancid and declined to perform the procedure. While it is certainly a risk, I'm more than willing to pay for antibiotics whenever she has a flair-up, and besides, can you really let something trivial like septic shock stand in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to increase unto Holiness and prove to the LORD how much we are willing to go through to please Him?

Should we maybe just scoop the whole apparatus out instead of just sealing it off? Would she still be able to walk? Is there some kind of medical-grade cement we could use instead? What about putting some kind of torch on a tube with a little camera up there and just cauterizing the whole thing from the inside out? Would it be safe to sew her vagina shut then?

Hopefully when we figure this all out, I can write a journal article about it so that the practice can become more widespread among Christian women who are no longer able to have children and, therefore, have no need for their vaginas.

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

12-13-2014, 12:36 AM

Mr. Johnson here;

While a good idea to prevent against temptation, remember the Lord works mighty miracles. "And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.6 And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.7 And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age." Genesis 21:5-7

Yours in Christ,
Mr. Mark Johnson

Location: In the midst of His Will®

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

12-13-2014, 03:52 AM

These procedures could get expensive quickly...maybe you could save a few bucks and just pray the vagina away ?

True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

12-13-2014, 04:27 AM

These procedures could get expensive quickly...maybe you could save a few bucks and just pray the vagina away ?
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power

The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. - R.J. Rushdoony

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

02-02-2016, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

Mr. Johnson here;

While a good idea to prevent against temptation, remember the Lord works mighty miracles. "And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.6 And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.7 And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age." Genesis 21:5-7

Yours in Christ,
Mr. Mark Johnson

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

02-03-2016, 02:13 AM

I do not know... this seems counter productive and painful. Perhaps there is another method available.

Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
Location: Mostly on the front porch.

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

02-03-2016, 05:20 AM

Did you sew that bitch up, yet? How long do we have to discuss this?

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

02-03-2016, 09:15 PM

While sewing 'it' up sounds like a dandy idea, what real man sews? It is womens' work. I'd suggest an industrial box stapler.

Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

02-03-2016, 09:54 PM

Keep in mind that even you sew her vagina up there are more traps to fall into:
-penis - butt sex. Which makes you gay.
-Penis- mouth sex which isn't any better
-mouth-mouth sex which is basically oral sex.

The perfect woman in this situation would be one without mouth, hands, feets, breats, vagina, anus.
It is actually interesting to think about how a woman would look like without all these nasty things. Surely worth an experiment. On the other side she needs to be able to cook and keep the house clean.

Re: Sewing Up My Wife's Vagina -

02-05-2016, 08:48 AM

Brothers in Christ,

As some of you know by now, Rebekah and I have been trying unsuccessfully over the last two years to have another son. We even turned to secular doctors at one point, since my wife claimed that's what the Holy Spirit had told her that's what we needed to do. More recently, the Holy Spirit spoke to me while I was deep in prayer, telling my that my wife's ovaries have pretty much dried up like raisins. So it looks like God has decided that five sons is enough. Rebekah and I thought differently for a while, but when we can't understand His ways, we may yet rejoice in His promises.

Since we will no longer be bringing new Soldiers for Christ into the world, we clearly no longer have any use for genitalia. At best, it just gets in the way. But far too often, they lead people into temptation. Salvation is serious business, and neither of us are willing to jeopardize our place praising and grovelling at the feet of the LORD for all eternity, singing Him praise songs and hosanas.

Matthew 18:7-9
Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

In my case, it's fairly straightforward and should satisfy all the requirements of Matthew 19:12 . Dr. Jones has agreed to perform the procedure, and I should be back up and moving around in time for worship services the following Sunday, assuming the stitches hold up.

However, it sounds like there are more risks involved with sewing my wife's vagina up once and for all. Dr. Jones thinks that it would go rancid and declined to perform the procedure. While it is certainly a risk, I'm more than willing to pay for antibiotics whenever she has a flair-up, and besides, can you really let something trivial like septic shock stand in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to increase unto Holiness and prove to the LORD how much we are willing to go through to please Him?

Should we maybe just scoop the whole apparatus out instead of just sealing it off? Would she still be able to walk? Is there some kind of medical-grade cement we could use instead? What about putting some kind of torch on a tube with a little camera up there and just cauterizing the whole thing from the inside out? Would it be safe to sew her v
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