Sensual Grinding

Sensual Grinding
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Place your hands on your partner’s hips. If you partner turns their back to you at any point, let your hands slide down until they’re resting on their hip bones. This will allow you to feel their movements more closely, and will also give you a little bit of control if you decide to change up your technique. [1]
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It’s normal for the person in the rear to hold onto their partner’s hips. Even so, be sure to lower your hands slowly so that your partner will have a chance to say something if they’re not okay with it.
Don’t venture any further unless you’re explicitly told that it’s alright to do so. Unwanted touching is still inappropriate, even while grinding.

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Move your hips together in unison. Bend your knees slightly and sway from side to side. From there, you can begin moving in circles, or experiment with any other movements that suggest themselves to you in the heat of the moment. [2]
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Depending on your height, you may have to stand up taller or put a little extra bend in your knees to keep even with your partner.

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Let your partner take the lead. Grinding is all about getting in synch with your partner, so stick close enough to keep your hips against your partner’s throughout the dance and try to mirror their movements. Allow your partner to call the shots when it comes to things like what movements to use and how much touching there is in various places. Being a good partner is all about respecting the person you’re sharing the floor with and adjusting your style to suit theirs. [3]
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The more chemistry you have with your partner, the more likely they are to step up the amount of contact between you.

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Lean to the side to cut down on unwanted contact. If you’re dancing with someone you don’t know, or just don’t feel like dancing too close, you can tilt slightly to one side. Your partner will lean in the other direction. That way, you’ll be grinding on your your leg more than your lap. [4]
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Pay attention to signs that your partner is hesitant to continue dancing so close. If their movements slow or stop or they try to pull away, for instance, it’s best to create a little distance.

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Change up your movements every so often. It wouldn’t be very fun if just you stood there and rocked your hips back and forth the entire time. To keep things fresh, try cycling between different movements every couple of minutes, or take turns leading and following. You may only have until the end of the song to enjoy your connection with your partner, so make it count!

If you and your partner are on the same page, you could even try dropping it low, dipping to opposite sides, or improvising your own embellishments.
Another simple way to make grinding more interesting is to alternate between dancing from the front and back.

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Don’t assume that grinding is an invitation for anything more. Just because your partner was willing to grind with you, doesn’t that they’re up for anything beyond that. People often come to a club just because they want to dance, not looking for hook-ups. If your partner seems interested in you though, you can always ask them out, but be prepared to respect their answer. [5]
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If your partner walks away after the song ends, don’t chase them. Instead, appreciate the fact that you had a chance to dance together and start looking for a new partner.

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Find a willing dance partner. While you’re doing your thing on the floor, search the crowd for someone to dance with. Holding eye contact, smiling, and frequent touching are all strong signs that someone wants to dance. Once you’ve selected a partner, move in and prepare to get physical.

If you’re not sure whether the person is picking up on your signals, just walk right up to them and ask, "Hey, wanna dance?"
Sometimes, someone may shoot you a fleeting glance or brush up against you by accident. If they spend the next few moments ignoring you or migrating to another part of the floor, don’t assume they’re playing hard to get—they’re probably just not interested.

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Rub your hips against your partner’s with the rhythm of the music. Once you’ve gotten up close and personal with your partner, time your movements to the tempo of the song. Move your hips back and forth against your partner’s. Coordinate the "upswing" of your hips to the beat to increase and decrease the pressure in turns. [6]
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Try grinding at different speeds to match whatever music is playing. You can move faster during songs that are upbeat and energetic, then slow things down with the music for a more sensual experience.
Remember, grinding is a form of dancing, so the more rhythmic you make it, the more enjoyable it will be for both you and your partner.

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Try putting your hands on your partner's hips. Once you’ve been dancing for a moment, try putting your hands on your partner’s hips and ask them if it’s okay. If they move your hands away, or tell you not to put your hands on them, just remove your hands. You can still dance, while moving your arms to the beat of the music.
Don’t get touch them places other than their hips unless they move your hands there. You don’t want to creep out your partner!

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Add some light chest bumps. Face your partner squarely and pull your shoulders back so that your chest presses into theirs. Then, move your body away from your partner. Do this a few times and see if your partner catches on. [7]
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You can also mix up the chest bump by doing a wave motion with your upper body. [8]
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Do your best to synchronize your movements with your partner’s.

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Work in some hip rolls to switch things up. Jut your hips forward to one side. As you do, your partner will pull theirs back on the same side. Keep your lower bodies locked together as you continue rolling to the opposite side, then change directions—they’ll stick their hips out and you’ll pull yours back. [9]
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#*You can roll whichever way feels most comfortable, but most people will instinctively move in a clockwise direction. [10]
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The circular motion of hip rolls is similar to the one you’ll use when grinding on your partner from the back.

Should I be twerking while he is grinding on me?

You don't have to, but if you want to turn him on or make the grind more intense you can.

What should my face expression look like? How should I react?

Smile, maybe even look back at your partner. It's nice to know one's partner is into the dance.

What if the girl doesn't know how to grind, but she is interested in learning?

Show her how to grind by holding onto her hips and leading. If she's still interested, you're both grinding! But if she feels uncomfortable, let her go.

What if he puts his hands on my hips and brings my butt closer to him

If you're uncomfortable, say you are. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Otherwise, just keep dancing.

What if you want to grind on a girl but you are too afraid to?

Try dancing with her normally at first. If she is willing to grind, she might lead the way, especially if she's around other people who are grinding. You can start by doing front grinds or a lean grind from the back. It's up to you if you want to take the chance, but those are ways to ease into it.

How do you prevent yourself from ejaculating when you're doing this? It always happens so fast.

Reduce the pressure when you need to. You can try applying a numbing cream or take the edge off before you go to the dance.

What if you want to grind but no one wants to grind with you?

Don't do it. Grinding with someone without their consent could be considered sexual assault.

What if I want to grind with a dude?

It's perfectly acceptable. Do the same thing you'd do with a woman.

If a girl drops down while she's grinding on me, do I have to follow her?

No--"dropping it low" is a move a lot of girls do while grinding, and it's usually a way for her to take the lead momentarily and add some variation to the movement. All you have to do is stand there and wait for her to return to her original position so you can resume grinding.

What if you were grinding and the boy doesn't hold on to your hips and his hands are behind his head?

That's okay and you can go along with it if you want. If you want his hands on your hips, feel free to grab his hands and move them. It might be a little embarrassing for him, but he'll forget soon enough.

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This article was co-authored by wikiHow Staff . Our trained team of editors and researchers validate articles for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow's Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article is backed by trusted research and meets our high quality standards.

There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 778,968 times.

Learn more...

Grinding is a fun and risque type of dancing that’s just as common at high school dances and wedding receptions as it is at nightclubs. The movement itself is simple—find a willing partner, move in close, and “grind” your hips together to the rhythm of the music. Grinding can be an exciting way to turn up the heat on the dance floor, whether you do it facing each other or behind your partner. Since it’s a suggestive form of dancing, however, it’s best to only break it out when you know your partner is into it.

If you’re a guy and you want to grind with someone, start by making sure your dance partner is comfortable with it since it's pretty intimate! If you know your dance partner is into it, stand behind them, place your hands on their hips, and press your hips against theirs. Then, follow your partner’s lead and begin moving your hips in unison. As you’re moving together, you can bend your knees slightly and sway from side to side so the dance doesn't get too repetitive. If you want to mix things up even more, try different stuff like moving your hips in circles or doing hip rolls. Keep the vibe lighthearted and be sure to work in some other dance moves and positions every now and then! For more tips, including how to grind from the front, scroll down!
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