Sensual Flogging
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Sensual Flogging
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Some sensation play activities such as bondage, tickling and sensory deprivation (beyond a simple blindfold) can take on a fetishistic role in a person's sexual life. Picture: Pixabay
Sensation Play describes a wide variety of activities, both vanilla and kinky, that use the body's senses as a way to arouse and provide stimulation to a partner.
Although sensation play is often related to skin sensations, it doesn't have to be so limited. Sight, taste, and hearing can also be included in sensation play.
Sensation Play can take on many forms, but generally it means that the activity is related to the senses. Forms of light sensations play include playing with feathers and other soft objects, light blindfolding and bondage with scarves or temperature play with ice or hot wax.
Some sensation play activities such as bondage, tickling and sensory deprivation (beyond a simple blindfold) can take on a fetishistic role in a person's sexual life. In these cases, sensation play can involve pain, prolonged sensory deprivation (like wearing a hood or mittens) and other elements. Impact play (spanking, flogging, paddling) is also considered a form of sensation play.
The goal of sensation play is simply to provide unusual and arousing sensations to a partner's body. It is only limited by one's imagination and, of course, personal limits, which should be respected at all times.
Here's a more in depth look at some of the things you can do:
Ice=goose bumps, right? Cold can be very exciting and painful at the same time. Run an ice cube down your partner’s neck, on their back, or between their legs. Cooling personal lubricant is another way to add cold excitement in the bedroom.
Hot wax or a hot stone massage can also be thrilling and a fun way to experiment. Just be careful that you use specially designed massage candles or the wax might be too hot and burn. (Massage candles are designed to burn at a lower temperature than a regular candle and are usually made of soy wax. Soy wax is also biodegradable and easy to clean up.) Although warming lubricant is not hot, it is still a fun and different sensation when experimenting with temperature.
Sexual stimulants provide extra sensation. This can be used on the nipples, clitoris or other parts of the body.
Sensation play not only includes adding sensations, it can also include taking away a sensation. This results in heightening the remaining senses. This is referred to as sensory deprivation. Blindfolds and wrist cuffs work best for sensory deprivation.
Laughter is sexy. Feather ticklers are a great way to inspire laughter (or torture)!
Many people enjoy impact play because they find it fun and erotic. Erotic spanking is done with an open hand, a paddle or a flogger.
The length of the tassels, as well as the thickness of the tassels can affect the impact of a flogging. The location on the body where you land will also determine how much a flogging will sting.
Have you been naughty? A proper spanking can cure those who are naughty. A paddling is usually done over their knees. If the paddle is heavy, then the wollup will be more painful. For beginners, leather paddles deliver less of a blow.
A Wartenberg Wheel was originally designed as a medical device to test nerve response. Many people like to use these pinwheels as a sensation instrument over their partner’s flesh. It delivers a prickly sensation but does not hurt or break the skin.
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25% of Americans fantasize about being spanked during sex. Here's how to try it out — safely and consensually.
Two years ago, I was in a relationship with a man we’ll call Ron. Ron and I had been dating for a few months, and we had a pretty good sex life. One day, we were having sex when I felt a searing pain on my left butt cheek. Ron had slapped me — hard.
I was immediately taken out of the moment. I told him to stop, which he did immediately, and I got out of bed and checked myself in the mirror. There, on my butt, was a perfectly raised welt in the exact shape of his hand.
I pulled on a robe and went back into the bedroom, where Ron was sitting, looking horrified. “OK — that was a little hard,” I told him. “I’m not comfortable with you hitting me like that.” Ron, bless his heart, was incredibly apologetic, and we spent the next ten minutes discussing each other’s boundaries when it came to spanking.
Spanking is one of the most divisive sex acts out there: some people think it's incredibly sexy, while others find it degrading and painful. It’s the brussels sprouts of sex — people either love it or hate it. But it's still one of the most common fetishes out there, with nearly 24% of Americans saying they secretly fantasize about being spanked, according to a 2018 survey , and movies like Secretary and Fifty Shades of Grey have further contributed to its popularity.
As for me, I’ve typically landed in the “thank you, sir, may I have another?” camp when it comes to spanking — but only when I’m with a partner I can trust. I've drawn some lines in the sand when it comes to spanking during sex — and if you and your partner are interested in trying it out, you should too.
Whether you'd rather give or receive, here are 6 things you need to do before you try spanking, so it can be as safe, consensual, and pleasurable as possible.
Most of the time, spanking during sex sort of just happens — but much like any other new sex act, it's really a good idea to have a conversation with your partner before you try it.
“Anything that falls outside of the 'vanilla' world [of sex] — and I would consider spanking outside of the 'vanilla' world — would recommend not only a conversation but a negotiation,” says Namita Caen , DHS, a U.K.-based clinical sexologist and sex and relationship coach. “Not only are you discussing what might be fun to try and what your fantasies might be in regard to spanking, you’re negotiating your desires, your needs, your boundaries, and your limits.”
Overall, the key to a good spanking is proper communication. “Sex is so much better when there’s a level of trust involved,” Caen says. “And that doesn’t really happen without talking it through first.”
The fact is that spanking, while enjoyable for some, can be incredibly triggering for others. It can bring up feelings of danger, or even memories of past abuse. So it’s very, very important to tread lightly — especially because the person on the receiving end of the spank may not have even worked out in their own mind how they feel about being spanked. “Being spontaneous can sometimes mean we haven’t thought through what feels good for us or what we want,” Caen says.
Now, I know what you’re thinking — spanking isn’t exactly a topic that is easy to bring up with your significant other at brunch over eggs Benedict. But there are ways to make the conversation less awkward. Try bringing up the subject “in the context of a situation where you’re already in a sexy seduction mode,” says Caen, like a romantic dinner or a makeout session on the couch.
The conversation doesn’t have to be clinical: in fact, you can bring it up in the context of other fantasies you might have, e.g., "I can't stop thinking about running my hands all over your perfect ass and lightly smacking it," or "The next time you're going down on me, I want you to grab my butt and give it a smack." You might even find you're both so revved up that you'll want to try it out right then and there.
Spanking is one of those sex acts that exists on a huge spectrum: what some people may consider a light love tap, others might consider extraordinarily painful. So before you actually try spanking during sex, it's a good idea to establish what you and your partner is comfortable with. If your partner is the one being spanked, have them tell you how hard they want to be spanked on a scale of one to 10, so you can test it out during the act itself (e.g. "that was about a 4, can we ramp it up to a 6?"). Continue to check in while you're having sex to make sure everything is OK on their end.
Once you’ve defined your boundaries, it’s easy to start incorporating spanking into your sex life, Caen says — you just have to start off slow. Light, playful spanks accompanied by caresses on the butt or inner thighs are a fun form of foreplay. Never try anything more forceful unless your partner has explicitly consented to it, and if they have, make sure you’re both already warmed up. Orgasm can actually lower your pain threshold — so if you’ve agreed on hard slaps, save it for the climax.
Once you've already incorporated spanking into your sex life, don't be afraid to integrate toys into the routine. We like LELO's SENSUA Suede Whip ($54.90) and the Bondage Boutique Black Rose Spanking Paddle ($19.99).
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Spanking can be used as a form of foreplay or it can be a stand-alone event. I have found that spanking during coitus can bring on the most powerful orgasms, I am talking seriousthat you will be talking about for weeks.
Actress. Author. Freelance Journalist. Sex-Columnist.
Oct 7, 2015, 04:01 PM EDT | Updated Dec 6, 2017
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Actress. Author. Freelance Journalist. Sex-Columnist.
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Nothing soaks my panties more than a good spanking. Well that's half-true, except I don't wear panties. But if I did wear panties, I'm sure they would be soaked right through.
I've been a no-knickers girl for 20 years, but this blog post isn't about my underwear status; it's about spanking. So let's begin.
People love spanking for a variety of reasons. Some love it because they like to explore pleasure and pain. Others like the role-play aspect of spanker and spankee . I enjoy being spanked for a combination of reasons. I like to be dominated plus I enjoy the sting of a decent flogging.
Spanking can be used as a form of foreplay or it can be a stand-alone event. I have found that spanking during coitus can bring on the most powerful orgasms, I am talking serious full-body-holy-crap-orgasms that you will be talking about for weeks. The buzz-word is 'intense'.
So let's delve further into some spankety-spank. Below are some things that I've learnt on my journey through spanking.
Trust is incredibly important when exploring spanking with a partner. I always like to have a safe-word .
I have had the unfortunate experience of being spanked by someone that I wasn't attracted to. It was incredibly awkward. If there is no spark to begin with then don't add spanking.
When I am exploring spanking with a new partner. I lie on my stomach on a bed and prop a pillow under my pelvis, this naturally postures your buttocks for a good spank. Get your partner to start with soft spontaneous smacks, slowly working up to a smack that stings.
ADD SOME FUN TO YOUR SPANKING SESSIONS
Once you get the hang of spanking, you can start to push your boundaries. Ask your partner to spank you whilst you are having sex and experiment with different positions. Buy a wooden paddle from a sex shop or get your partner to spank you with a brush or a whip.
Spanking has added so much joy to my sex-life and I hope it can add some sauciness to yours too.
Vanessa de Largie is a multi-award-winning actress & author. Learn more about her work on her website . LIKE Vanessa's Facebook Page
Actress. Author. Freelance Journalist. Sex-Columnist.
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