Sensual Dominance
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The Art of Sensual Female Dominance Paperback – August 1, 2000
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Many [players] feel that, with planning and the love of a caring partner, D&S can be a safe way to heal, change, and grow. Although each partner is strong enough to stand alone, each needs the other for the acceptance all humans crave, for validation, for someone to trust with the erotic fantasies in their secret heart. As you play at D&S, never forget that you are holding your partner's trust and fantasies in your hand, and extend around him the protective shield he needs at this time. Enjoy your time at the "top," but remember the one who put you there.
The Art of Sensual Female Dominance is a tasteful, insightful, and often amusing guide for women who want to incorporate domination into their love relationship and for those who just wish to play and have fun. It is a woman's intoduction to a different, more daring lovestyle that can spice up life in the bedroom and out. Claudia Varrin is a sophisticated lifestyle dominatrix who is highly regarded for her expertise in the multi-dimensional aspects of dominance. Writing from her D&S heart as well as her personal experience, her book discusses communication and trust in the D&S relationship as well as risk and safety factors. The book includes illustrations helpful for beginners, anatomy depictions for discipline and trampling, and true stories relating some of her favorite experiences with male submissives. Miss Varrin will guide the budding domina in the step-by-step techniques necessary to conduct the first D&S encounter and to get in touch with the inner power and self-control required to dominate another person.
Publisher : Citadel; Later Printing Used edition (August 1, 2000)
Language : English
Paperback : 242 pages
ISBN-10 : 0806520892
ISBN-13 : 978-0806520896
Item Weight : 14.1 ounces
Dimensions : 6 x 0.61 x 9 inches
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I personally think this book was pretty awful.
I've been a dominant woman in the lifestyle two years with a long term live in partner of whom I'm engaged to. Our dynamic has never wavered, and we live a female led relationship 24/7. And I hang out on a pretty awesome BDSM forum and have read and interacted on it quite a lot. I've purchased this book, The Mistress Manual, and Uniquely Rika so I have been subjected to different writing styles and points of view.
If I'd read this book as total a newbie, I would have been like, "huh, interesting bedroom games and thoughts..." and put it on the bookshelf never to use as "a lifestyle" ever. She does not present a lifestyle from which to live with a long term loving partner day to day. This book was written from the prospective a professional dominatrix. At most, it'll help you be safe; if about twice a month you want to hit on someone.
In the beginning, it makes a bunch of judgments and uses a bunch of labels that I really don't care for. Why do you need a name that implies a lower status just because you're not "hardcore" and "24/7" ? Everyone does it as much as they need and want. No need for such labels.
Regarding sadism and masochism, it was a lot of technical info with a few diagrams and safety details I already 99% knew from learning online. If you don't have the time to learn from online about S/M then perhaps this is a book for you, the S/M newbie.
Regarding dominance and submission...Well, I didn't see much of it. The author is a professional "dominatrix". Which makes her a Top with, hopefully, skills to illustrate a fantasy for a client. I hated how she presented D/s as so much work for her and none for him. Example?
"This is the clothes you have to buy and wear to give -him- a good time and make you feel like you're playing the part." This concept of constantly catering to the male fantasy is a recurring theme. Don't get me wrong, clothes can give you a lot of confidence and really put you in the mood. But I can top and dominate in jeans and a t shirt just as well and feel no need to wear all leather just to give a potential partner a hard on. Remember, I'M not getting PAID because I'm a lifestyle dominant- not a pro. I don't have the money to buy all the frivolities she suggests to make everything a good time for -him-. My current partner doesn't expect it! And I would just feel resentful if any future partners expected it.
I think D/s is better represented elsewhere. I did a review on "Uniquely Rika," and highly recommend it.
(this review may contain spoilers)
This is a good guide for the curious couple wanting to add some kink to their sex life. More than that it is a good book for the curious woman wanting to know what it means to be dominant. It is NOT what you read about or watch in fiction.
This guide won't transform you into the porn Dom with whips and leather (unless you already have that tendency, and need it unlocked with a bit of pushing). It is what you make it however. If you want the role of Goddess. Your man will worship you, serve you, please you AND LOVE EVERY SECOND!! Believe me it is not a dream.
Every woman has the power to bring men to their knees. A Dominant woman keeps a man on their knees until she is fully satisfied.
The audience for this book will quickly discover that this woman knows how to write and she knows her subject backwards and forwards, and inside and out. This is a more advanced look at D&S and S&M than the majority of those on the market. While most of the techniques described in minute detail in this guidebook are far beyond this reader's personal experience, there is always something useful for anyone to learn from reading it. It does answer some of the nagging questions that everyone curious about the scene seeks to know--even if they aren't going to personally try those most advanced experiments in extreme sensation, domination, fisting, humiliation, slave training, water sports or exhibition and group party games. Ditto for actually trying pony training, caning, using the bullwhip and violet wands.
This book purports to be intended for women to turn their consenting monogamous adult male partners into happy, sexually satisfied silly putty. The boast is justified. As a male, this reviewer doubts that many men could describe the "in's and out's" of the psychology of humiliation, mind games or other detailed techniques for driving males crazy with desire half as well as this former dominatrix-turned-author. There is no question from the material covered in the book that this woman has vast experience with her subject matter and she doesn't hesitate to share her knowledge in excruciating detail after detail. Even the readers of these games will know instinctively that what she is describing works--sometimes it even begets results just from reading her thoughts as she transfers them to the printed page.
Because this book is much more advanced than most on the subject, a lot of time is devoted to playing safely. Two different anatomy charts of the male body are included with the danger zones for each activity clearly marked. It's like a scene out of the old movie classic "Spartacus" where the ex-gladiator drill sergeant is using Kirk Douglas's body to paint the various kill and injury areas to show the other would-be gladiators.
One doesn't have to read far to understand how fragile the human body really is. It's obvious why Varrin goes to the trouble of pointing out the danger points for some of her extreme S&M games. For instance she reminds the reader never to use the violet wand above the waist and to know if your partner has any kind of heart trouble or a pace maker. Electricity is always dangerous even in mild doses.
Like any serious writer or practitioner of these D&S and S&M scenes, communication, knowledgeable consent, detailed planning, safe sex, and more communication even during and after the scene is completed are indispensable. The reason for the increasing popularity of this kind of play is simple: done correctly it can make a sexual tryst last for hours or even all night and into the next day. Where else can a loving couple have seemingly endless sex? And because it is so satisfying, great care must be taken to protect one's playmate from any kind of injury or real, unwanted harm including utter exhaustion.
This book will definitely provide enlightening reading for interested would-be participants as well as the people who are simply curious about the practices described. It's one of the better tomes on the complex subject. And while it's primarily intended as a guide for women to use on their willing, kinky male lovers or husbands, most of the techniques can easily be adapted for any combination of males and females. Even games for "hen parties" are suggested. How many male submissives have lust-filled dreams of being the focal point of a house or dungeon party comprised entirely, or mostly, of skilled dominatrixes with him as the door prize or party favor for all of them to sample?
My wife and I have talked around this subject matter for years, and this book has really enabled her to see the potential to enrich and enhance our marriage. Easy to read, funny, and eye opening.
1.0 out of 5 stars Sold it as fast as bought if I recall correctly
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended for those with this particular taste
Highly recommended for those with this particular taste.
With the right man this would be a yessssss
Can I have you for breakfast in bed today?. Sex quotes on PictureQuotes.com.
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Sensual. Deep. Dominant. A very sexy combination. - Sensual and dominant is insanely sexy...
What she gave Him wasn't just herself; she gave Him the freedom to be Himself, completely. #BDSM #Dominant #Dom #Dominance #Submissive #Sub #Submission #DDLG #Ds #Quote #JBaby #JBabyWrites
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Everything starts with trust.. It is the foundation that a D/s relationship is built on..
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