Send Me A Fetish

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Don't fess up right away. If you want your partner to be okay with your foot fetish, then the worst thing you can do is blurt it out right away. If you're just in the middle of your first date, or even kissing for the first time, saying, "I have a foot fetish!" is likely to turn your night in the wrong direction. If you want to tell your partner about your foot fetish and get the best results, then you have to wait for the perfect time -- when you know each other a little better. [2]
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Ideally, you should wait until you have a sexual experience before you discuss your foot fetish. Otherwise, it may be too much, too soon.
On the other hand, you don't want to wait too long -- if you walk down the aisle before admitting your lifelong obsession with feet, then you may run in to some serious trouble.




Start touching your partner's feet when you're ready. Once you've gotten more comfortable with your partner, it's time to test the waters. If you've found yourself in bed are in various degrees of undress, you can try kissing your partner's stomach, legs, and then move your way down to the feet. Don't go straight for the feet or you may freak your partner out. You can also just start touching your partner's feet if you're watching TV and you want to give him or her a sexy foot massage.
Don't start licking or sucking on your partner's feet yet -- this may be too much too soon as well.


See how they react. How does your other half react when you go for the feet? Do hear murmurs of approval, the occasional, "Oh, that feels good," and see a nice relaxed smile on his or her face? If so, then things are moving in the right direction. If your partner pulls away, or even outright says they don't like it when you touch their feet, then it's time to abort the mission.
If your partner reacts negatively, don't be discouraged. You may still be able to turn things around. However, this does mean that you shouldn't go for the feet again until you have the big talk.


If your partner reacts positively, compliment their feet. Don't go overboard -- just say, "You have such sexy feet," or "I just love your feet." Don't make it sound like a fetish yet -- just tell your partner that he or she specifically has amazing feet. This will make it easier for your partner to swallow the news than if you flat-out stated that you categorically love all feet before paying special attention to your partner's feet.
Additionally, if you're a guy, and really feel like you need to mention her feet, you can compliment her about it when you're having a night out. You can say, "Your feet look great in those shoes." But don't overdo it, or little will she know, you have a foot fetish and think you only like her for her feet.


Pick the right time to do it. When is the right time to admit to a foot fetish? There's no golden rule, but you probably should not do it in the middle of a hook-up. Instead, pick a time when you and your special someone are hanging out and feeling good about each other -- while having some privacy. You can tell your girl or guy when you're back at your place and you think you may be close to hooking up again. [3]
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Fessing up in the middle of hooking up or cuddling may give you a reaction you may not be ready for, and can interrupt the mood (though not ruin it for good!).


Act a little nervous. Though your foot fetish may be something you've had for years and seems perfectly normal to you, you should be considerate of your partner. Sure, you think feet are hot -- plenty of people share your feelings. However, to a person without a foot fetish, this news will seem a bit unexpected, so you shouldn't just drop this comment like you're announcing that you think it's about to rain.

Say, "There's something I have to tell you..." and let your partner see that you have something important to say so you get his or her attention.
Don't act too nervous or your partner will be nervous too. Just act nervous enough that your partner will see that you really care about what she thinks.



Spit it out. Be honest. Just say, "Hey, I have a thing for feet." Or, "I want you to know that I have a foot fetish." That's it. There's no need to say why, or how long you've had it, or how much you love sexy, sexy, feet. Just tell your partner, let it out, and feel the relief of finally fessing up flood over you. Make eye contact, look at his or her face, and wait for a reaction.
If you hear nothing, you can ask, "What do you think?" But generally, it's a good idea to give your partner some time to process the news.


React appropriately to your partner's feelings. There are a few ways that this news can be taken. The best case scenario is if your partner says, "Really? That's kinky. I don't mind at all!" However, it's more likely that your partner will want more information or won't quite know how to react. The worst-case scenario is if your partner is completely not accepting of your fetish and thinks that feet are completely gross. You've said your piece, though, and now it's time to be mature and to deal with your partner's reaction in a calm and adult fashion. Whatever happens, you should be proud of yourself for being honest.

If your partner accepts your foot fetish on the spot, great. Prepare for a night of kinky fun.
If your partner needs some time to deal with it, take things slow. Don't try to touch his or her feet too much during your next kissing session -- wait for your partner to give you the green light. [4]
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If your partner is just flat-out not into it, then there's no need to not try to force it. After all life is short and you have a foot fetish. Now, it's up to you to decide if you can handle a relationship that doesn't allow you to indulge your foot fetish. There is also a chance that over time they will warm up to it and become curious after a while. [5]
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If a girl agrees to engage in my fetish with me but prefers to use socks, should I tell her I like barefoot better?

I would try it out with socks first and then work up to telling her that you like barefoot better. Let her get comfortable first.

How do I admit to a foot fetish to my parents?

You don't need to share this info with your parents, or anyone else for that matter. If you feel like you want to talk about it with anyone, sitting down for a one on one conversation may be best.

I am into some of my relatives' feet, how should I tell them so I won't get a negative reply?

Don't tell your relatives that you are sexually stimulated by their feet. You will get a negative reply, it doesn't matter how you say it. Keep your foot fetish between yourself and your sexual partners (who should not be related to you).


You can share it with your sexual partners and nicely ask if they are willing to try the things you enjoy. Start small.

Is a sock fetish the same thing as a foot fetish, or how different is it?

It's kinda the same thing, it's more of someone's preference. Just like how different people have preferences for small feet, fat feet, etc., some people have a thing for socks.

My friend told me he has a foot fetish. How do I stop him asking me for foot pics?

Just say no. There is no point in being vague about it. You set your boundaries and that is that. If your friend respects that, then great. If not, be really firm and ask your friend to keep the fetish to people who share it, and you simply do not.

What if I have been with my partner since first grade? Can I tell her in sixth grade?

You can tell her if you stay with her to the legal driving age. Until then, presume that it's not appropriate to share such information and may even be overwhelming for her.

How can I tell my girlfriend that I love her feet?

Wait until you are both in a romantic mood, then be honest with her about your attraction to her feet.

How can I know if I have a foot fetish?

If you find yourself being attracted to a woman's feet more than other parts of her body, or experiencing sexual fantasies that feature a woman's feet, then you probably have a foot fetish.

Would a close friend understand my fetish?

It's possible. If she is a good friend, she will accept it even if she doesn't quite understand it.


wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 60 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been viewed 1,090,058 times.


Bahasa Indonesia: Mengakui Fetish Kaki

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Don't be embarrassed about having a thing for your partner's sexy, alluring feet. [1]
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There's a way to tell your special someone about your foot fetish without causing a sensation. If you want to know how to fess up about your love for feet, just follow these easy steps.

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How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!
I’m a bisexual woman. When I was 11 or 12, my family was at a theme park. While we were waiting in line for a ride, two men in front of us in line started making out. It was nothing inappropriate, and it wasn’t a big deal because no one in my family is homophobic. I watched them out of the corner of my eye for a minute. To my memory, it’s the most sexually aroused I’ve ever been. (I almost had to excuse myself to go to the public bathroom and try to rub one out.)
Since then, my biggest “turn-on” is gay men. At first, I could get by and was still turned on by me having sex with men and women and thinking about it, but now it’s impossible. I always have to think about two guys together to “get there.” And I exclusively watch guy-on-guy porn while masturbating. It’s gotten to the point where I’d rather just masturbate than actually have sex with someone. Even when I’m being penetrated vaginally, I like to think that I’m a guy being fucked by another guy. (I’m definitely not trans—besides this, I love being a woman and have never had any kind of dysphoric thought or desire to transition.)
I even seek out media featuring gay men, like books, movies, and music, although I do it secretly because I don’t want to come off as some kind of weirdo. I feel guilty for fetishizing gay men, but it also feels like I can’t help it—the more I try to resist, the more it turns me on. I’ve dated bisexual men, and we’ve had MMF threesomes, but bi men are very rare in my area, not all of them are into group sex (understandably), it’s all a pain to set up, and to be honest I’m not all that crazy about threesomes, either.
I don’t have the greatest health insurance, and therapy is expensive. I did try to see a “sex-positive” therapist who was very woke, but after I tearfully confessed my fetish she shamed me for fetishizing gay men and making their lives harder, and called me a homophobe while I sat there and sobbed. So I can’t imagine telling anyone else about this. I do have diagnosed OCD, if that matters.
Is there a way to get rid of this very distressing fetish so I can go back to enjoying sex?
The scare quotes around “sex-positive” to describe that therapist are apt. It is chilling that someone who behaved that way has ostensibly devoted her life to service. There is nothing positive about shaming a client for her desires, no matter how they deviate from the generic script of pro-social conduct pushed by supposedly well-intentioned people. Desires and fantasies are, for many of us, largely out of our control and, in their raw, immaterial form, innocuous. When they become problems is when they manifest as potential harm to others, like in the case of someone determined to act out their abusive fantasies. In the realm of thoughts and fantasies, your interest in gay male sex is benign. It has little practical possibility of becoming a reality, and you aren’t really pursuing what practical possibility it does have (i.e., in the MMF threesomes that are difficult to set up and underwhelming to you, at any rate). I think the main thing to be cautious of when you have an intense sexual interest (that many would refer to as a “type”) is that you may focus on the traits that excite you (a big dick, blond hair, dark skin) to the extent that you ignore the person they are attached to. That is how a trait-based fetish can make someone’s life harder. In your case, because you are not a gay man, you aren’t having gay male sex during which you could objectify the humanity out of a person. Your fantasies are not making anyone’s life harder, except for yours because of the distress they are causing you. And if in fact you are patronizing the porn of gay male sex workers by, for example, subscribing to their OnlyFans accounts, then, in your small, one-person way, you are actually making their lives easier . I entirely reject the feedback you received from this therapist, and I urge you to find a new one. Maybe try a gay guy! That would be so you.
Ridding yourself of an unwanted desire is not particularly easy and, outside of the realm of the anti-social, probably not worth the effort. Since you’re so into gays, I’m sure you’re aware of conversion therapy’s low success rate and legacy of trauma. For a previous column , social psychologist Justin Lehmiller told me about a method sometimes employed to rid someone of unwanted sexual desires that involves that person masturbating to right before climax and then switching images or fantasies to a desired one as they orgasm. Lehmiller described the success rate of this, however, as “modest at best.”
If your desires weren’t bothering you or interfering with your sex life, I’d tell you to stay on the dudes-doing-dudes beat. (I’m a fan of it myself!) But it does seem to be presenting an issue in interpersonal intimacy. I don’t think fantasizing during sex is bad or wrong, and it can be extremely useful for inducing orgasm, but ideally, you’d be having connected sex with your partner. Not always possible, I know, but something to strive for. You might just be someone who prefers masturbation over sex. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it’s fairly common. Embracing this part of yourself would certainly make matters less fraught, but again, I advise you to seek a different therapist with more compassion. It can be hard to find one, especially factoring in insurance limitations, but it’s not impossible. Keep trying.
Sex advice from Rich and Stoya, plus exclusive letter follow-ups, delivered weekly.
My husband and I have been married for a few years now, and we have been poly for a little over a year. Every time we start to date around or try to find a third, he gets almost fixated. It’s all he thinks or talks about. We wake up in the morning and he’s on Tinder, or he’s constantly checking his notifications throughout the day. I try to bring it up to him, but he either denies it completely or tries to say I’m on my phone just as much. I’ve tried to communicate with him about how fixated he gets on trying to get with these other women, but he always just tells me I’m jealous. I’m tired of trying to communicate, I’m tired of always trying to get his attention. I just don’t know what to do anymore. It’s starting to seem like he just wants these new women instead of me.
I believe your husband is chasing and reveling in what people in the poly community refer to as NRE, or “new relationship energy.” (It’s also sometimes called limerence .) The newness of your husband’s fixation is one of the few things you by definition cannot provide to him as a long-term partner, and it is, I think, one of the main draws of a nonmonogamous lifestyle. When harmonious, such a lifestyle provides the stability of an established relationship and the excitement of the unknown. It’s like having the marriage and honeymoon at once and theoretically, forever. A true best-of-both worlds situation.
But like so much magic, it has a price. This way of life requires diligent upkeep, and your husband is slacking off in his emotional chores. Poly expert Elisabeth Sheff wrote a brief piece on this issue for Psychology Today . While many come to recognize a partner’s NRE and accept it for what it is—an intense passing fancy—those experiencing it have an obligation to show their partner that their avowed priorities remain fixed. Writes Sheff:
Ignoring a beloved of 20 years in favor of a new flame of two weeks has created difficulties for so many poly relationships that community wisdom dictates overcompensating with the longer-term partner to avoid even the appearance of taking that person for granted.
To retain the closeness of long-term relationships, poly folks tend to make an extra effort to do special things for their partners of many years. This generally includes scheduling date nights, bringing flowers and other small gifts, paying attention, giving compliments, initiating sex in new and exciting ways, and generally proving in every possible way that they still highly value their long-term relationships.
If your husband wants the best of both worlds, a
https://www.wikihow.com/Admit-to-a-Foot-Fetish
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