Self Squirt

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Self Squirt
by Claire Lampen and Korin Miller Published: Dec 2, 2021
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Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more. She has a master’s degree from American University, lives by the beach, and hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.
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You know how people blame Disney movies for giving people unrealistic expectations about love? Well, I blame porn for giving me unrealistic expectations about sex. If porn were any indication of people's everyday sex lives, we'd all be firing off liquid streams of erotic bliss at every climax. Sorry, but no.
That said, the elusive sex sensation that is squirting isn't entirely impossible. Apparently, for some women, it does come naturally. But for others, it may be possible to learn. Meaning, yes, you could make yourself squirt during sex.
First, a little refresher on what squirting actually is: While there's still a lot of debate , Madeleine Castellanos , MD, notes that "squirting appears to be fluid that’s retained in the bladder that’s released either when a woman has an orgasm or other times." This is thought to involve the Skene’s glands—two structures located near the end of the urethra that can produce fluid with G-spot stimulation.
As for what this actually looks like…it’s probably not what you think. "'Squirting' is a bit of a misnomer, as the fluid isn’t always expelled as a squirt ," says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast . "It might be a drip, dribble, or gush." Some people "can feel the liquid being pushed out, but in many cases, you don’t even notice it until you get up and see the wet spot beneath you," O’Reilly adds. The actual fluid that comes out can be "milky or clear" and it can feel and look like you peed yourself, says sex therapist Debra Laino , DHS. The actual volume can vary, too. "Some women will have more fluid; others less depending on their body, as well as depending on the experience," Laino says.
But why the hype? Dr. Castellanos notes that it can feel pretty effing fantastic. In fact, one study showed nearly 80 percent of women who've experienced squirting said it improved their sex lives. "The urethra has all these nerve endings in it, as anybody who’s ever had a UTI can attest," she explains. "It’s very sensitive. So when you get this rush of fluid going through, at the same time you’re having an orgasm or you’re getting sexual stimulation…that can be a very pleasurable experience."
That said, "a lot of people think this is the pinnacle of orgasm...and if you haven’t done it, your orgasms are less-than—I don’t agree with that," Dr. Castellanos says. "For some people, squirting adds to the orgasm, and for other people, it does nothing or it detracts from it. It’s not the same for everybody." No shame either way.
Of course, you'll never know until you try. So, if you’re still curious about making yourself squirt, here's an expert-informed step-by-step guide to attempting your first time.
If you do succeed in squirting, things may get a tad messy. So, Dr. Castellanos recommends taking precautions if you're worried about oversaturating your sheets.
Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of OrganicLoven.com , suggests the Liberator Fascinator Throw, which is made to soak up liquids and is softer than most towels.
To be fair, this hasn’t been researched or anything, but experts say it could help in theory. "Some people say that hydration facilitates sexual response including orgasm and squirting, but this is anecdotal," O’Reilly says. "Overall, staying hydrated is good for your health, which can support sexual functioning." There’s also this to consider, per Laino: "Dehydration can lead to more difficulty having an orgasm in general and can even make sex painful as well as having low energy for sex."
Have patience with yourself and your body. "It can take some time to get a feel for it," says Antonia Hall, psychologist and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
You'll also want to reduce as many other stressful thoughts as possible. "Remember that, for most women, sex starts in the brain," says Sparks. "Start the mental seduction earlier in the day." That means everything from dirty talk to cleaning the bedroom so there's nothing there that stresses you out.
"Focus first on stimulating your clitoris, as it'll help bring blood into the area and get your G-spot area ready for play," says Hall.
O’Reilly suggests using a rabbit vibe like the We-Vibe Nova , which "provides dual vibrating stimulation for the G-zone internally and the clitoral head and hood externally." She adds that it’s "adjustable, powerful, rumbly, and you can use it to rock in a pulsing motion."
The Womanizer Duo can also be a handy toy, "as the outer arm stimulates the head of the clitoris with pleasure-air technology that uses tiny bursts of air to create a suction-like sensation over the clitoral head," O’Reilly says.
When you're turned on, insert your middle and ring finger a couple of inches inside the vagina and rub your G-spot, which feels like a small ridged area along the front of your vaginal wall, Hall says.
FYI: You'll need to do it for an extended period of time (it's a marathon, not a sprint!). "What [you’re] pushing on is actually erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra," Dr. Castellanos explains. "As you’re stroking that...you’re changing the angle of the urethra to the bladder, and it’s much easier for that fluid to be expelled." To improve your odds of squirting, relax the pelvic floor muscles as you stimulate the G-spot.
G-spot stimulation is key here. "The G-spot is about two inches in and one inch up, inside of the vagina," Sparks says. "So, you are seeking a toy with some length and a slight upwards curve." She likes the Le Wand Bow : "This stainless steel wand is perfectly curved with ridges and a round bulb on one end and smooth and a more pointed bulb on the other end." You can even add in temperature play by letting it sit in warm or cold water for a few minutes prior to use.
Take a look for some tips about buying sex toys:
A lot of women feel like they’re going to pee when they’re close to reaching an O. But that gotta-go feeling is often sparked by that fluid coming from the Skene's glands behind the G-spot (a.k.a. squirting), explains Hall.
And even if pee does come out, don't stress, says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and the creator of Finishing School . "Sex is messy and there’s a lot of fluids involved already, so even if it was urine, who cares?" (But if it'll make you feel better, you can use the restroom before you get started.)
Sparks says it helps to have control of your pelvic muscles. "As the sensation [or] pressure starts to build, it will feel like you have to pee—that’s the time to use your pelvic floor muscles," she says. "Don't tighten them, but push out...as if you are pushing out the pee. It takes practice, but it’s doable."
Doing your best to be easy-breezy lemon-squeezy when you feel an orgasm building will go a long way toward helping you reach your goal. "Some people report that when they tense up, it hinders both orgasmic sensation and squirting," O’Reilly says.
"Many say that bearing down allows their muscles to relax so that they can enjoy the full squirter experience," Dr. Laino agrees. "This goes with orgasm in general—letting your body relax, but at the same time having some tension and flexing the [pelvic floor] muscles will aid well in having all types of orgasms."
Above all, Dr. Castellanos says, "Be compassionate with yourself if you don’t make yourself squirt."
If you don't succeed the first time—or even after multiple attempts—it just means your body’s natural impulse is to keep anything from coming out of the urethra while you get busy. Just relax, enjoy the feelings, and if it happens, it happens.
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You can easily make yourself squirt if you know your anatomy well
Drinking before masturbating is a sure way to make yourself squirt
Toys provide more intense stimulation, which leads to a more active fluid release
This is a must-try position for squirting for the first time
It’s an intimate position that still provides great access to your G-spot
For many, this position is the best way to make yourself squirt, but it takes practice
If you are figuring out how to make yourself squirt during sex, pick a simple position, like a jockey
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Female ejaculation can be just as arousing as male one. Don’t let rumors intimidate you — squirting is not something you need to be born with. You can learn to squirt during sex and masturbation, and enjoy the heck out of the process. Here’s a full guide on how to make yourself squirt if you are a girl.
To learn how to squirt, you need to understand the anatomy of female ejaculation first. By saying the word “squirting,” we refer to the stimulation of the Skene’s gland — a gland, located on the anterior vagina wall near a G-spot. When the gland is activated, it releases fluids and smoothes out vaginal tissue. It excites vaginal nerves and improves orgasm.
The squirting fluid is released by the gland into the urethra, going through the same path with your urine. Some women can’t initially distinguish between the two and worry that they will pee. With practice, you’ll learn to differentiate the two and make yourself squirt without worrying about peeing.
If you didn’t squirt before, you might be wondering: what’s the point? How exactly will squirting make my sex life better? Well, in multiple ways. For one thing, the Skene’s gland is located near the G-spot — and you’ll be able to identify and stimulate yours. Finding G-spot increases clitoral sensitivity and delivers much better orgasms.
Also, squirting prepares you for rough sex. It gives you a warm wet sensation down there — you’ll feel much more comfortable during sex because the fluid will act as a lubricant. The best part is, squirting is working equally well when you are on your own and with a partner. Both sex and masturbation will improve a lot.
The first thing to take into account is that women have different dimensions and anatomies of a Skene gland. Some are more sensitive, whereas others are smaller and harder to excite. This explains why for some women squirting comes naturally, whereas, for others, it’s a matter of learning and practice.
Still, even if you didn’t squirt before, you will figure out how to squirt easily while masturbating, if you dedicate some time to exciting the gland. Let’s take a look at the ways to make yourself squirt in five steps.
Squirting resembles peeing not just in the way that fluid passes through, but also, in its amount. Just like during peeing, you might accidentally start a flood — and you wouldn’t want that in your bed. This is why you need to take basic precautions, like getting additional sheets and blankets, just in case.
You need to hydrate properly. Otherwise, your body won’t let fluids escape, trying to conserve as much as possible. Before you start masturbating, don’t forget to go to the toilet and get rid of extra fluid. After you’ve drunk about 0,5 liters of water and let the excess out, you should be well hydrated for the process.
Squirting starts with mental stimulation, which later starts a physical response. Turn on sexy music, dream about hot guys, and watch female porn for 15-20 minutes. Don’t wait till you orgasm, though — you want to build up your arousal, but not release it yet.
This is how to make yourself cum and squirt with fingering — right here, in the G-spot. Once you feel that you are heated sufficiently, start exploring your vagina to find a G-spot. In case you aren’t familiar with the concept, G-spot is a part of the female vagina that brings two parts of the clitoral network together and brings better orgasms. It feels like a rough spot on the back wall of your vagina.
Apply some pressure to your vagina, varying the intensity. At some point, you’ll feel a slight dimple, and touching it will give you itchy feelings down there. This is, most likely, your G-spot. Once you’ve suspected its location, apply even more pressure — G-spot likes rough stimulation. If you suddenly feel like you are nearing an orgasm and peeing at the same time, this is it.
Don’t worry, you will not pee. G-spot is near the bladder, and applying pressure down there stimulates your bladder as well. You’ll feel like you need a toilet, but you won’t pee.
Once you’ve located your G-spot and stimulated it enough, the response from the Skene gland won’t hold up. You’ll feel your fingers getting wet in several minutes, and you’ll get a hot feeling down there.
Some women stop feeling any discomfort from their fingers — this is because of the squirt fluids smooth the walls of your vagina. Because of its softening effect, squirting makes masturbation and sex feel much brighter and gentler.
If manual ways like come-here motion or circular movements don’t provide you enough excitement, you can step up your game and use dedicated toys.
Dildos are the most effective sex toys for squirting — you can experiment with angles and see which penetration depth works better for you. Your insights on how to squirt with a dildo will be useful during actual sex — dildos give you a rehearsal opportunity.
For even better effect, use penis-shaped vibrators — some say it’s the best toy to squirt. To make yourself squirt with a vibrator, insert it and experiment. Continuously stimulate your vagina, and once you hit the G-spot, you’ll know immediately.
If you know how to squirt while masturbating, it’s time to do it with your partner. Also, for some women, squirting with a partner works better than trying to find a G-spot alone.
If masturbation doesn’t deliver you the necessary feeling of excitement, invite your partner to help you out. Here’s how to use your man’s help to help your ejaculation.
Communicate with your partner and describe what you are feeling, and don’t skip the foreplay. Just like during masturbation, you need to get to a high arousal degree before you can even start looking for a G-spot.
Squirting can be achieved in any position, as long as you get the depth and angle right. However, some positions provide a better opening and a more suitable angle for getting to the place. Here’s my tier of favorite positions that use vaginal and anal penetration for a better effect.
Squirting depends on stimulating G-spot, so there is no better position to start with than this one. Wrap your legs around your partner’s legs, as he kneels and enters you from behind. This position allows you to change the angle quickly — you can use hands to push up and down. Also, both your vagina and anus are located near a partner’s penis, which is why it’s almost a sure way to make yourself squirt.
If you had no luck with the G-spot position, try a more extreme one. During Down Stroke, a woman also holds her legs around the partner’s neck; only this time, the knees are bent. This curvature provides an even wider opening and allows higher precision for the penetration.
There are downsides, too — you need to have quite strong legs to hold them up continuously. If you didn’t have practice with demanding positions, this one would be a piece of work.
Just in case you were curious about having sex with your head down, it’s time to try. The position isn’t nearly as complicated as it seems — support yourself with arms and lean on your partner with your knees. His hands are free, too — so he can provide additional support for you. If he knows how to make a pussy squirt, he can use fingers, too.
It’s one of the simplest positions out there — you’ll be lying down while your partner is grinding on you, pushing his hips back-and-forth. Similarly to a cowgirl, these gliding motions provide intense stimulation of the G-spot. You can also try up and down movements if sliding didn’t do the trick.
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The Skene gland is located near your bladder. By putting pressure on it, you are also stimulating your bladder. It won’t release urine — unless you are overly hydrated — but you’ll get a similar sensation. Also, the squirted fluid goes through the urethra, just like urine does — so the process feels a lot similar at first.
The first rule of squirting is to enjoy the process. If you overthink it, you won’t get excited, and G-spot won’t receive the necessary stimulation. Also, it could be that you are not giving enough pressureю. Don’t be too gentle once you are inside the vagina — the G-spot responds to strong movements. Also, keep in mind that all women have different ejaculation sensitivity, and some need to try harder.
If you are on the verge of orgasm, don’t let it pass and increase the intensity of your stimulation. Keep circular motions and come-here motions and push the tissue of your vagina down with every stroke.
The amount of squirt fluid is personal and depends on your particular anatomy of a Skene’s gland. For some women, it’s impossible to get out a flood, whereas, for others, the fluid will freely flow out.
You need more masturbation practice to have a firm grasp of the location of your G-spot. Once you can easily find it on your own, it’s time to let the partner join you. If you are practicing together, be sure to communicate — you can guide him on whether he should go down, up, deeper, or back off a bit.
Squirting and getting an orgasm isn’t necessarily connected. Most of the time, you’ll orgasm while squirting, but sometimes, you won’t. It’s fine, and it won’t happen all the time.
Firstly, don’t rush the process. Give her time to explore her vagina and find the G-spot. If you also go in there, you might have trouble communicating. She won’t be able to guide you, an
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