Self Posted Nude

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Self Posted Nude
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It’s been two and a half years, and I’m finally ready to tell my story.
We had just moved into our gorgeous new home a few weeks before. Everything was sparkling, fresh-from-the-builder clean and smelling like drywall and wet paint. Boxes still littered the living room, and much of the furniture had not yet found a location. There were no curtains on the windows or rugs to soften the hard tile floors.
Because of how new the place still was, it still had kind of a sparse, sterile feel to it. But one day as I was about to get in the shower, I noticed my daughter’s discarded mermaid Barbie doll and a few other bath toys sitting on the ledge of the bathtub next to the stunning glass shower enclosure. The left-out toys were the first obvious evidence of kids living and playing in the house that I’d seen, and I thought, Ah, now it’s starting to feel like home. I took a picture of the Barbie and posted it to my public Instagram profile, captioning it with something cutesy and heartwarming about how now the house finally feels like home, and didn’t think anything else about it.
A couple of days later, I received a message in my Instagram inbox from an acquaintance I had barely known in high school. I had been close friends with his sister who was in my grade, but he was a couple of years younger. His message said, “It looks like you may have a nakey ghost in your new house! Just thought I should let you know.”
My heart rate instantly spiked. Such a mysterious message, and vaguely ominous. (He “just thought I should know”?) Was there actually a ghost in my house ? (Do I believe in ghosts?) Was there a smudge on the shower glass in the shape of Jesus? Would I open the Instagram image and see a bone-white, creepy child standing in my shower wielding a bloody machete and staring menacingly into the camera?
With trembling hands, I opened my Instagram app and found the image in question. There was the brightly colored mermaid Barbie just as I remembered her, facedown on the ledge, arms akimbo, blond hair strewn wildly above her head. Where was the ghost? I looked for a blur in the shower door, or maybe a smudge on the shower wall itself.
There it was, right on my public Instagram page, for any ol’ Joe Schmo to see — my naked reflection in the glass of the shower enclosure. Granted, it was a translucent reflection, the kind you get from glass, not the crystal clarity you get with a regular mirror, but there was no doubt whatsoever about what it was that I was looking at: My own bush.
The image clearly showed my unclothed body, from just below my boobs all the way down to about two inches below my crotch. And no, I had not landscaped in quite some time. Moving is a lot of work , folks, and lots of self-care, including mons pubis-scaping, takes a back seat. I also hadn’t bothered to suck in, not that my bare stomach in whatever shape it was in was even remotely my concern by that point.
I was the nakey ghost. That was the point.
I deleted the post, my insides having been instantly incinerated into a tiny hill of smoking ash. The post had over 100 likes . So now I had to wonder: How many people had seen that image — me, the nakey ghost — and hadn’t wanted to be the one to break the terrible news? There is no way this one acquaintance out of 100 people could have been the only one to look past the colorful mermaid Barbie and notice my bushy vag on full display.
Actually, you know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know. At the time, I was so embarrassed I could only bear to tell one friend, my bestie who I knew would laugh so hard she would somehow make me feel better about my humiliation. Clearly, now I am fine with everyone knowing. It took two years for this to be actually funny though, and not just oh-my-god-please-let-the-earth-open-up-and-swallow-me funny.
And so, ever since my little oopsy nakey ghost-post, I obsessively check for five things anytime I post a picture:
1. Are there any reflective surfaces I need to be concerned about?
3. But seriously, am I definitely not naked?
4. What about the back? Am I accidentally naked from the back and there are secret reflective surfaces pointing at my ass?
Even if I know I’m fully clothed, even if I’m in sweats and a hoodie and socks and shoes, I still triple check. I can’t help myself. It’s not even the thought of having a naked picture of myself anywhere for anyone else to see that embarrasses me. It’s that I did it on accident . For heaven’s sake, at least let me choose when and where and to whom to show my ungroomed bush. This was not nude art . It was my oblivious ass accidentally taking a picture of my crotch and posting it alongside a Barbie mermaid. Ugh, the embarrassment is washing over me again, I need to wrap this up.
The only thing I have left to say about this is, if you are one of the people who followed my Instagram during the time this happened, and you saw my naked-ass torso and didn’t tell me, you are NOT A TRUE FRIEND. This is exactly the same as when someone has spinach in their teeth or toilet paper on their shoe. Dammit, it is just basic human decency to tell them! For heaven’s sake people, do better.
People like me who accidentally post naked pictures of themselves on Instagram are counting on you.
This article was originally published on 12.4.2019

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For better or for worse, celebrities have an ongoing love affair with Instagram. While many of our faves use the platform as an art gallery to showcase their latest tattoos , others use it to promote their new music, movies, and tours. We can't help but hand out ❤️❤️ every time a new post comes across our feed.
Instagram is also the place where celebrities, entertainers, and influencers strip down and get comfortable. Not only do our faves show us glimpses into their personal lives on IG, but they also show off their bodies, too. Subtle bikini pics make their way onto perfectly curated IG grids while others lean into being nude AF baring it all on their main feed and on their IG Story, too. Terms and conditions violations be damned!
Braless selfies #freethenipple and pantless underwear poses keep their legs on full display. Some celebs post a one-and-done, while superstars like Lizzo, Britney Spears, and Tana Mongeau repeatedly slay nude selfies. Just wait until you see who else bared it all on Instagram. You gotta love their confidence.
Florence Pugh penned a powerful post on July 10, clapping back at the "vulgar" and sexist comments she received after wearing a sheer dress at Valentino's Fall/Winter 2022 Haute Couture show in Rome. The gorgeous, halterneck gown in the fashion house's signature pink was a major #freethenipple moment, to which Florence noted she knew "that there was no way there wouldn’t be a commentary on it."
"It isn’t the first time and certainly won’t be the last time a woman will hear what’s wrong with her body by a crowd of strangers, what’s worrying is just how vulgar some of you men can be," she wrote. "Thankfully, I’ve come to terms with the intricacies of my body that make me, me. I’m happy with all of the ‘flaws’ that I couldn’t bear to look at when I was 14."
The actress continued to denounce men who scrutinize and tear down women's bodies, questioning what's so "terrifying" about breasts. She went on to share how proud and confident she is of her body, and how grateful she is to have grown up alongside "strong, powerful, curvy women." On a final note, she gave the online critics a piece of advice.
"Grow up. Respect people. Respect bodies. Respect all women. Respect humans," she added. "Life will get a whole lot easier, I promise. And all because of two cute little nipples…."
LMAO! There's nothing like scrolling on Instagram first thing in the morning and seeing a nude selfie post from Cole Thee Stallion Sprouse to get your day started. While we can't help but wonder if the wagon Cole's dragging is real, the shape of his left-hand screams FaceTune/Photoshop.
Lizzo is coming in hot. She rocked cutout leggings from her new Yitty shapewear brand to announce what she called the "song of the summer."
If booked and busy were a person, it would definitely be Lizzo—who also happens to be not shy with baring it all. Just in case you didn't believe it, the rapper dropped receipts of her most recent accomplishments with a topless photo and hinted at being on the brink of something massive.
All hail Queen Britney. The pop icon has been known to bare it all on Instagram in the name of body positivity. We stan!
Lizzo stripped down to tease new music on Instagram. "If you love me… you love all of me. You don't get to pick and choose," she wrote.
Who else could make getting caught with your pants down look so fab? Ofc, it's Tana Mongeau.
We see you, Lizzo!! The "Rumors" singer struck a pose with her cakes on full display.
Britney Spears celebrated the strides made to end her conservatorship with this topless selfie she took with an actual photography camera.
Have mercy! Chloe Bailey promoted merch for her hit single with this cheeky mirror selfie.
Opps! Britney Spears used this selfie to share a special message for her haters.
Fresh off of her engagement proposal, Kourtney Kardashian posed for a topless selfie on a bed of red roses. How romantic!
Captions? Who needs those? When you're as fierce as Kendall Jenner you can drop off your 🔥🔥 pics and go.
Who knew that Noah Beck had an extensive skincare collection to match his washboard abs?
TikTok star Jordyn Jones took in a beautiful oceanfront view all while posing for a topless selfie.
Consider this a Lizzo appreciation post. The singer posted a much-needed a** update, re ass uring (heh) her followers that the booty is just as glorious as ever. Honestly, we love this energy.
Oops, she did it again. After news broke that her father Jamie is stepping down as her conservator, pop icon Britney Spears took to Instagram to post some barely-there vacation photos. The "Toxic" singer is basically naked, but she did use flower emojis to cover up a tiny bit.
It's scientifically proven that the best way to start off a long weekend is with a little "sun's out, buns out" moment. Thankfully, Bella Thorne continuously supplies followers with exactly that. She shared full-on bootay in a strappy 'lil thong bikini aboard a very expensive-looking yacht. This is the energy.
In an effort to change the conversation around beauty standards, Lizzo posted an unedited selfie to Instagram. "Normally I would fix my belly and smooth my skin but baby I wanted show u how I do it au natural," she wrote. Absolutely here for Lizzo and realness, always.
Nothing more to add. Lizzo's beautiful caption said it better than we ever could.
A post shared by Bella 🦋 (@bellahadid) on Oct 21, 2020 at 2:36pm PDT
By the end of your scrolling, you'll notice that almost half of this list is pictures of Bella Hadid – and we're 0% mad about it. The model showed off some tasteful underboob in preparation for a 3D body scan. No idea what that means, but we're into it.
A post shared by tana mongeau (@tanamongeau) on Sep 30, 2020 at 6:58pm PDT
Tana Mongeau posted a belfie in support of Joe Biden's presidential run in 2020. The YouTuber promised a free nude to anyone who proved they voted for Biden, and, apparently, it worked.
Actor and musician Tyler Posey had Teen Wolf fans screaming over his announcement that he opened up his own OnlyFans account and even gave fans a sneak peek of what they can expect (including a video of him playing guitar naked) if they subscribe.
A post shared by Lizzo (@lizzobeeating) on Jul 21, 2020 at 9:42am PDT
Now , this was a makeover we can get behind. With bright green hair and a smattering of metallic stars, Lizzo looks like a goddess on earth.
A post shared by tana mongeau (@tanamongeau) on Sep 23, 2020 at 1:53pm PDT
After a three-month hiatus from Instagram, Tana came back, and you know she wasn't about to make her big return with some casual selfie. One of the very first pics she posted was this chic topless shot. The YouTuber, famous for the absolute lack of f*cks she gives, posed partially nude for a glamour shot that had our jaws on the floor. She REALLY did that.
Tana Mongeau took to Instagram to share throwback moments from Coachella. The memories included cute outfits, shots with David Dobrik, and, of course, this almost fully nude mirror selfie. In the caption of the Instagram, Tana explained, "I took the last picture while my boyfriend was on the other side of the door screaming at me hahhhahaahhaha." At the time, Tana was dating Justin Bieber look-alike, Brad Sousa, though they broke up shortly after Coachella.
A post shared by Bella 🦋 (@bellahadid) on Apr 23, 2020 at 11:42am PDT
Bella Hadid stripped down for a shoot for the fashion brand Jacquemus. Honestly, it's pretty impressive what can be done over FaceTime. It's almost as impressive as Bella being able to cover up her naked bod' with just a little bag.
Tana has never shied away from baring it all on IG. The YouTube star followed suit with IG's posting guidelines and kept her nips concealed with two black heart emojis.
A post shared by Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) on Mar 16, 2020 at 2:35pm PDT
Lady Gaga's 2020 cover for Paper Magazine featured her as a robot, attached to wires and locked in a glass box. The pic is pretty cool, but the most iconic part has to be Gaga's rejection of pants and her rockin' robot bod.
Someone call 911, because our phones are on FIRE. Bella Hadid, queen of the tasteful nude selfie, uploaded a smokin' hot pic that’s living rent free in our minds. She posed in a lavish Dior suite, dressed in nothing but panties and a hand-bra.
A post shared by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on Feb 4, 2020 at 8:08am PST
Emrata loves a good lingerie moment, so it's no surprise that she took to her Instagram to share this stunning video of herself in a sheer, deep-v teddy peppered with polka dots. Of course, her winged liner is on-point, her brows are perfectly coiffed, and her hand is strategically placed for totally glam nude vibes.
A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on Jan 18, 2020 at 2:15pm PST
Ya, girl Tana dropped off some 🔥🔥 IG pics, where she served red hot vibes. Tana posted this pic in Lounge Underwear lingerie atop some basic office furniture (who could make a conference room look this good?!).
A post shared by Bella 🦋 (@bellahadid) on Jan 13, 2020 at 8:58pm PST
Send nudes, but make it fashion. Bella Hadid has reinvented the entire concept of low-key bathroom selfies. She draped herself in a see-through, crystal-studded bodysuit and wore nothing underneath but a silvery G-string. Chic.
Ashley served a major lewk rocking nothing be some knee-high leather boots, and a well-placed blazer. In the pics, Ashley also shows off her new haircut, which she documented on Instagram.
While Tana is known for crushing her IG feed with little to no clothes, this time, she bared it all on her Instagram Story, which features a fully nude selfie of her...on the toilet. Luckily, the YouTuber placed a little church emoji in just the right spot.
A post shared by Lizzo (@lizzobeeating) on Nov 6, 2019 at 5:47am PST
Yes. This is the content we've been waiting for. Lizzo began her morning with a full-on butt pic and we honestly cannot think of a better way to start the day.
A post shared by Bella (@bellahadid) on Dec 13, 2019 at 10:48am PST
Bella has been baring it all recently. Just a few days after freeing the nipple on Instagram, the model opted to post another revealing pic, this time covering up solely with what seems to be gold paint.
Tana may not have brought a bikini top to her recent trip to Hawaii, but luckily the state is filled with coconuts, and she was able to cover up with the fruit for this risque pic.
Miley posted this pic on Instagram to let her fans know about her newest obsession: mirror selfies (same girl). She did inform people, though, that the pic was going to get removed soon. "I’ve been warned by the gram gods !" she wrote, since the inclusion of her nipples breaks the social site's policy.
A post shared by Rajiv Surendra (@rajivsurendra) on Oct 3, 2019 at 12:27am PDT
To celebrate Mean Girls Day, Rajiv Surendra, AKA rap god Kevin G, posed totally naked on Instagram, wearing nothing but a leaf. Kevin G would be definitely proud.
A post shared by Mert Alas (@mertalas) on Jul 10, 2019 at 8:01am PDT
The former 1D member showed it ALL off in this pic posted by photographer Mert Alas on Instagram. Liam served major model eyes in the pic, but we’re having a pretty hard time focusing on his face...
A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on May 27, 2019 at 10:23am PDT
If you've ever wanted to get a closer look at Bella's tattoos (for your tat inspo Pinterest board, obvi), then her recent video will certainly help you out. The video, which shows a stripped-down Bella, is meant to promote her book The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray.
A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on Jun 19, 2019 at 2:40pm PDT
Kendall took her Instagram followers on a trip around NYC. Not only has she been hitting up bodegas, but she's also been hanging out with some of her closest friends. This time, Kendall gave her followers a peek of her hotel bathroom as she took some pictures of herself in a bathtub while showing off her "alien hand."
A post shared by MOSTHATEDCARDI (@iamcardib) on May 30, 2019 at 3:06pm PDT
Cardi B's promotion for her song "Press" included this risqué pic with EXTREMELY well-placed black bars. The rapper looked absolutely incredible despite confirming she has had to cancel some shows in order to heal from plastic surgery complications. There is no evidence of that in this pic, though. Cardi looks absolutely gorge.
A post shared by Aly Michalka (@iamaly) on May 9, 2019 at 9:33pm PDT
Aly and AJ showed off their rockin' bods on the cover of their EP, Sanctuary . Aly noted on her personal Instagram she was "very proud to release this non photoshopped/un-retouched image celebrating [their] curves."
The sisters aren't strangers to nude album covers. The image for the song "Don't Go Changing" had them topless, while "Take Me" showed off some butt cheeks. Spoiler: They're AJ's.
A post shared by Channing Tatum (@channingtatum) on May 1, 2019 at 1:34pm PDT
Note to self: Never play Jenga with Jessie J, aka Jessica Cornish. Channing had to 'gram this NSFW pic after the singer beat him at Jenga.
Hilariously, Jessie J commented on the pic, "Sharing is caring 🔥😍."
A post shared by Devon Werkheiser (@devonwerkharder) on Apr 28, 2019 at 10:49am PDT
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