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Rebecca ReidFriday 30 Nov 2018 1:35 pm
Welcome to a new series where we ask the question: how do people from different religions have sex?
We’ll be finding out about how Jews, Mormons, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs and hopefully Zoroastrians (if we can find one who’ll talk to us) have sex.
We’ll be asking the same questions about each religion in an attempt to better understand how your faith can shape your sex life.
This week we’re looking at how Muslims have sex.
This series is based on the official teachings of the religion, not what individuals might choose to do.
Nope, like a lot of other mainstream religions, having sex before marriage is forbidden – or ‘haram’. As Muslim and Metro.co.uk writer Faima Bakar explains: ‘No matter how ‘practicing’ or non practicing you are, the two things that are taken quite seriously as a Muslim are not eating pork and not having sex before marriage, though some are more relaxed with the latter.
‘There’s lots of Muslims who date but generally without having sex because that’s considered a big deal – one to be saved for marriage. And those who do have premarital sex are most likely very quiet about it, though I do believe they’re in the minority.’
Extramarital sex is a big no-no, but within marriage sex is considered to be positive and important.
Emphasis is placed on the importance of foreplay. Muslims are forbidden to act like animals, and sex without foreplay is considered to be acting like an animal, therefore foreplay is extremely important.
Yes. Islam is supportive of the use of contraception for family planning purposes. The morning after pill is also permitted, as long as the woman taking it doesn’t feel that she has conceived.
Women have the right to use whatever contraception they want, without their husband’s permission, however they should not force their husband to wear a condom or pull out before ejaculating, each gender should have control over their own contraceptives.
Abortion is not freely permitted – but can be allowed, specifically if the pregnancy poses a real threat to the mother’s health.
It is also considered permissible to prevent the suffering of the fetus if it is fewer than 120 days old.
In Iran, Grand Ayatollah Yusuf Saanei issued a fatwa which permits abortion in the first three months, saying: ‘…Islam is also a religion of compassion, and if there are serious problems, God sometimes doesn’t require his creatures to practice his law. So under some conditions–such as parents’ poverty or overpopulation-then abortion is allowed.’ – Grand Ayatollah Yusuf Saanei quoted in Los Angeles Times, December 29, 2000
A grey area. Some scholars say that while it’s undesirable, it’s acceptable.
Big no-no. Anal sex is considered to be ‘the sin of Lot’s people’ and is not acceptable between hetero or homosexual couples.
Of course, as we mentioned, these are the official teachings of Islam. There might be Muslims who do have anal sex, just like there might be Jews who eat bacon and Catholics who are on the pill.
No – not on the menu. Muslims are not supposed to have sex during a woman’s period or during her afterbirth, largely because it’s considered to be unpleasant for the woman.
Unfortunately not. Like a lot of other major religions, homosexuality isn’t permissible under Islam. Men who have sex with other men should be punished, claims the Koran, though no punishment is specified.
The passage of the Qu’ran which is most often claimed to forbid homosexuality is as follows: ‘And as for the two of you men who are guilty of lewdness, punish them both. And if they repent and improve, then let them be. Lo! Allah is Merciful.’
Women having sex with women falls under the same umbrella.
There are gay Muslims, but just like in Christianity and many other religions, because people of the same sex cannot marry, it’s impossible to have marital sex in the eyes of the religion.
Masturbation is not permitted for for men or women, but different areas of Islam take slightly different stances on how wrong it actually is.
There are quite a lot of rules, but if you’re having heterosexual sex with a married partner, and she’s not on her period, it’s considered to be an important and valued part of a marriage.
It’s the women in Islam who have ‘rights’ to sex. Men are supposed to sleep with their wives a minimum of once every four months, though women can waive their right to it.
Next week we’ll be asking how Sikhs have sex.
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"Islam and sexuality" and "Sex in Islam" redirect here. For sexuality in other religions, see Religion and sexuality.
Islamic sexual jurisprudence (Arabic: الفقه الجنسي الإسلامي, Arabic pronunciation: [fiqhu'l dʒin'siːu'l ʔis'laːmiː]) is a part of family,[1] marital,[2] hygienical[3] and criminal jurisprudence[4][5] of Islam that concerns the Islamic laws of sexuality in Islam, as largely predicated on the Quran, the sayings of Muhammad (hadith) and the rulings of religious leaders (fatwa) confining sexual activity to marital relationships between men and women.[6][7] While most traditions discourage celibacy, all encourage strict chastity, modesty and privacy with regard to any relationships between genders, holding forth that their intimacy as perceived within Islam is largely reserved for marriage. This sensitivity to gender difference, gender seclusion and modesty outside of marriage can be seen in current prominent aspects of Islam, such as interpretations of Islamic dress and degrees of gender segregation.[8]
In Islam, prohibitions against extramarital sex are strong and permissible marital sexual activities are familiar subjects.[9][10] Marriage and concubinage are permitted sexual relationships and they are described in Quran and Hadith as bringing about strong love and closeness. In these permitted relationships, there are also some limitations as well as permissions: a man should not have intercourse during his wife's menstruation and afterbirth periods. He is also considered to be sinning when penetrating anally. Contraceptive use is permitted for birth control. Actions and behaviours such as certain abortions and homosexuality are strictly forbidden.[11]
In Islam, parents are responsible for the upbringing of their children,[12] and that responsibility includes protecting them from anything that may corrupt their morals. Early sex education for children is not recommended by Islamic scholars, as the knowledge contained in such curriculum may be a negative influence on a young child's mind.[13]
According to Muhammad Al-Munajjid and Abdullah Nasih Alwan, young children should instead be taught Islamic rules involving: covering the intimate parts of the body, ‘awrah; controlling one's gaze; and asking permission before entering private spaces.[13]
When puberty approaches, children should be taught the signs of puberty and the characteristics which distinguish men from women.[13]
They should also be taught the cleansing rituals of wudu and ghusl. Munajjid stated with regards to the issue of sex education that this should come when there is a need for it, such as when marriage is approaching or when the child is mature enough to understand the issues of fiqh; such as the rulings on adultery (zina) and ‘awrahs. Modesty, chastity and avoiding promiscuity are important in Islam and education should include what is forbidden (haram).[13]
Muslim men and women asked Islamic prophet Muhammad about issues concerning sexual behaviour, so as to know the teachings and rulings of their religion. Muslims could pose their questions either to Muhammad directly or to his wives.[14][15] A hadith attributed to Muhammad's wife Aisha states that the Ansar women in particular were not shy about asking questions regarding sexual matters.[16]
Khitan or Khatna (Arabic: ختان, Arabic: ختنة) is the term for male circumcision carried out as a cultural rite by Muslims and is considered a sign of belonging to the wider Islamic community.[17] Whether or not it should be carried out after converting to Islam is debated among Islamic scholars.[18][19]
The Quran does not mention circumcision, either explicitly or implicitly, in any verse. Some hadiths mention circumcision in a list of practices known as fitra (acts considered to be of a refined person). Abu Hurayra, a companion of Muhammad, was quoted saying,
"Five things are fitra: circumcision, shaving pubic hair with a razor, trimming the mustache, paring one's nails and plucking the hair from one's armpits"
— (reported in the hadiths of Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim).
However, different hadiths contradict on whether circumcision is part of fitra or not. According to some traditions Muhammad was born without a foreskin (aposthetic), while others maintain that his grandfather Abdul-Muttalib circumcised him when he was seven days old.[20][21] Many of his early disciples were circumcised to symbolize their inclusion within the emerging Islamic community.[citation needed] Amongst Ulema (Muslim legal scholars), there are differing opinions about the compulsion of circumcision in Sharia (Islamic law). Imams Abū Ḥanīfa, founder of the Hanafi school of Fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence), and Malik ibn Anas, maintain that circumcision is a Sunnah Mu'akkadah—not obligatory but highly recommended. The Shafi`i and Hanbali schools see it as binding on all Muslims.[22] Islamic sources do not fix a particular time for circumcision. It depends on family, region and country. The preferred age is usually seven although some Muslims are circumcised as early as the seventh day after birth and as late as the commencement of puberty.[17]
Bāligh or bulūgh (Arabic: بالغ or بُلوغ) refers to a person who has reached maturity or puberty, and has full responsibility under Islamic law.
For example, in issues pertaining to marriage, baligh is related to the Arabic legal expression, hatta tutiqa'l-rijal, which means that a wedding may not take place until the girl is physically fit to engage in sexual intercourse. In comparison, baligh or balaghat concerns the reaching of sexual maturity which becomes manifest by the menses. The age related to these two concepts can, but need not necessarily, coincide. Only after a separate condition called rushd, or intellectual maturity to handle one's own property, is reached can a girl receive her bridewealth.[23]
Nocturnal emission is not a sin in Islam. Moreover, whereas a person fasting (in Ramadan or otherwise) would normally be considered to have broken their fast by ejaculating on purpose (during either masturbation or intercourse), nocturnal emission is not such a cause. They are still required to bathe prior to undergoing some rituals in the religion. Muslim scholars consider ejaculation something that makes one temporarily ritually impure, a condition known as junub; meaning that a Muslim who has had an orgasm or ejaculated must have a ghusl.[24]
And they ask you about menstruation. Say: It is an illness; therefore keep aloof from the women during the menstrual discharge and do not go near them until they have become clean; then when they have cleansed themselves, go in to them as Allah has commanded you; surely Allah loves those who turn much (to Him), and He loves those who purify themselves.
Verse 2:222 in the Quran implies that sexual relations during menstruation are prohibited. Despite the verse saying “to segregate the women” and “not go near them” hadith quote Muhammad as saying that this only refers to sexual intercourse.[26] Ibn Kathīr, a muhaddith, narrated a hadith that describes Muhammad's habits with his menstruating wives. This hadith demonstrates that Muhammad gave licence to all forms of spousal intimacy during the period of menstruation with the exception of vaginal intercourse. Women are required to perform ritual cleansing (ghusl) before resuming religious duties or sexual relations upon completion of their menstruation.[27]
Islam has strongly emphasized the concept of conservatism, decency and modesty; besides the lawful sexuality, priority is given to modesty and chastity both inside and outside the marital relationships. In the hadith literature, modesty has been described as "a part of faith".[28]
The Prophet (PBUH) was “more bashful than a veiled virgin girl”.
The Quran warns against fahisha or immoral lust.[29][30]
Allah wants to accept your repentance, but those who follow [their] evil lust want you to digress [into] a great deviation.
Indeed, those who like that fahisha (sexual immorality) should be spread [or publicized] among those who have believed will have a painful punishment in this world and the Hereafter.
Some hadith warn against fahisha including as follows:
"The Messenger of Allah said: '... There are five things with which you will be tested, and I seek refuge with Allah lest you live to see them: Fahisha (promiscuity, sexual immorality) never appears among a people to such an extent that they commit it openly, but plagues and diseases that were never known among the predecessors will spread among them.'"
Modesty is maintained by gender segregation and seclution and it is required in the interaction between members of the marriageable opposite sex within families, known as mahram. Dress-code is also part of that overall teaching.[31] In the Quran, modesty and privacy of men and women is mainly described in An-Nur; for example,
"Say to the believing men that they lower their gaze and restrain their sexual passions. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is Aware of what they do. And say to the believing women that they lower their gaze and restrain their sexual passions and do not display their adornment except what appears thereof. — And let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms. And they should not display their adornment except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their—right hands possess, or guileless male servants, or the children who know not women's nakedness."
Hadith also describes the laws of modesty and chastity and, along with the Quran, it emphasizes marriage as a requirement:
Narrated by Abdullah ibn Masud, the prophet said, "O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, as it lower the eyesight and guard his modesty and whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for that will be a shield for him."
Islam strictly discourages nudity and public nakedness.[32][33] It has been mentioned in Hadith:
Narrated by Muawiah ibn Haydah, "I said: Apostle of Allah, from whom should we conceal our private parts and to whom can we show? He replied: conceal your private parts except from your wife and from whom your right hand possesses (concubines). I then asked: Apostle of Allah, (what should we do), if the people are assembled together? He replied: If it is within your power then no one will look at it, then you should try that no one can look at it. I then asked: Apostle of Allah, if one of us is alone? He replied: Allah is more entitled than people, that bashfulness should be shown to him (feel shy more to Allah than to people)."
The Prophet (PBUH) said: Do not uncover you thigh, and do not look at the thigh of the living and the dead.
"Asma, daughter of Abu Bakr, entered upon the Apostle of Allah (PBUH) wearing thin clothes. The Apostle of Allah (PBUH) turned his attention from her. He said: O Asma, when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her that she displays her parts of body except this and this, and he pointed to her face and hands." Abu Dawud[34]
"After Muhammad issued the command (Quran 24:31) for women to cover themselves, the women responded by tearing up sheets [or outer garments] to cover their faces." Sahih Bukhari (60:282)[35]
It is also forbidden for spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life—for example, the Quran states:[31]
Allah's Messenger said: The most wicked among the people in the eye of Allah on the Day of judgment is the men who goes to his wife and she comes to him, and then he divulges her secret (to others).
Privacy between an unmarried man and a woman is not allowed, for example:
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "A woman should not travel except with a Dhu-Mahram (her husband or a man with whom that woman cannot marry at all according to the Islamic Jurisprudence), and no man may visit her except in the presence of a Dhu-Mahram."
The following hadith also commands that basic privacy is maintained in same-sex societal gatherings:
Narrated by Abu Said Khudri: The prophet said, "A man should not look at the private part of another man, and a woman should not look at the private parts of another woman. A man should not lie with another man without wearing lower garment under one cover; and a woman should not lie with another woman without wearing lower garment under one cover except a child or a father."
In Islam, there are two types of permitted sexual relationship: marriage and concubinage.
Marriage (Nikah) is a contract between a Muslim man and his wife; in Islamic law, marriage legalizes sexual intercourse. Marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship nor is it only for procreation. Marriage is greatly encouraged in Islam, partially because it provides a lawful institution in which to fulfill one's sexual urges.[36][37] Islam does provide extensive rules regarding sex; however, within the conditional institution of marriage, there are sources in both the Quran and hadith, which promote this. In the Surah Baqarah, sex in married life is openly recommended:
"When they [i.e. wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded."
Muhammad also declared marital sex as charity:[38]
'"When one of you have sex with your wife, it is a rewarded act of charity." The Companions were surprised and said, "But we do it purely out of our desire. How can it be counted as charity?" The Prophet replied, "If you had done it with a forbidden woman, it would have been counted as a sin, but if you do it in legitimacy, it is counted as charity."'
"Do not marry idolateresses until they believe, a believing slave woman is better than idolateress even if she pleases you and let (your women) not be married with idolater, a believing slave man is better than idolater even if he
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