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Understanding Other People

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Imagine yourself in this situation: A friend asks you to a party. You learn that all the girls in your group were invited — except for Paula. How do you think Paula will feel if she finds out? Most people in this situation will feel some or all of emotions A through D: angry, sad, hurt, and excluded. Being able to predict how other people might feel is a part of emotional intelligence EQ for short. When we understand how other people are likely to feel, it can guide our interactions with them. You might say or avoid saying! I feel awkward telling you. Answers C and D are the kinds of things you say when you know for sure the other person has been invited. But what if Paula approaches you looking cheerful and says: 'Hey, I heard Regan is having a party this weekend. Are you going? You know that how you respond can help her feel supported or make her feel worse, so you choose your words accordingly. The skill of understanding others helps us predict what people might feel in a certain situation, but it also allows us to make sense of how people react. In homeroom at 8 a. Later that afternoon, he looks upset, almost like he might cry. Which explanation is your best guess for what might have happened between these two times? He passed the 4th period algebra exam. The chemistry teacher assigned a lot of homework. He probably just had a bad day. They are able to relate to how that person reacts to things 'Oh, I completely get why she got angry like that. No wonder! Understanding how others feel, act, and react helps us build better relationships. Some people are better at it than others, but just about everyone can improve with practice. Understanding others is all about watching and listening. If you see someone trip and fall, you probably wince — ouch! We have a natural tendency to sense what other people feel just by watching them. They believe that brain cells called 'mirror neurons' activate in the same way whether we do something ourselves or watch another person do it. People who are good at understanding others are usually good listeners. Research shows that the better someone listens, the more connected that person feels with the person who is talking. This produces a feeling of bonding and closeness. Most of us rate ourselves as good listeners — after all, listening seems like such a simple, basic thing to do. Here are some ways to build good listening skills:. After building your skills in understanding others, how do you use that knowledge? This is compassion , and compassion helps us form relationships. Try these three ways to be more compassionate:. Even small acts of compassion can build positive social connections try saying 'hi' to someone who is sitting alone at lunch and see how it makes you feel. Scientists now know that strong social connections influence our health, happiness, and even how long we live. Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD. Larger text size Large text size Regular text size.

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During these challenging times, we guarantee we will work tirelessly to support you. We will continue to give you accurate and timely information throughout the crisis, and we will deliver on our mission — to help everyone in the world learn how to do anything — no matter what. Thank you to our community and to all of our readers who are working to aid others in this time of crisis, and to all of those who are making personal sacrifices for the good of their communities. We will get through this together. Updated: January 13, Reader-Approved References. People watching is the art of observing the people around you and noticing characteristics about them. It can be a fun way to pass the time, a chance to get ideas for characters in a book, or simply a way to connect with people around you. To begin people watching, find a well-populated area, sit somewhere out of the way, and avoid calling attention to yourself to observe people unobtrusively. Tip: Parks will usually be populated with families, while cafes or restaurants might have couples or single people. College campuses are populated with young adults and public transportation attracts people across all demographics. Tip: If you are outside, put on a pair of sunglasses to disguise your eyes. Do not wear sunglasses inside, as it will only draw attention to you. To people watch, practice natural observation by sitting quietly somewhere unobtrusive, like a bench in a busy plaza or under a tree in the park. Make sure to wear sunglasses or bring a book to read so you remain unnoticed. To make things more interesting, pick 1 person out and, according to their outward appearance, make up the details of their life. For how to use people-watching to build characters for your writing, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Facebook Loading Google Loading Civic Loading No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. As the COVID situation develops, our hearts ache as we think about all the people around the world that are affected by the pandemic Read more , but we are also encouraged by the stories of our readers finding help through our site. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. Together, they cited information from 12 references. Learn more Observing People Unobtrusively. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of All rights reserved. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc. Find an area with the demographic that you want to watch. If your goal is to observe the elderly, head to a retirement home. If you want to find families, post up at your local mall. Go to an area that is well-populated. Places are more likely to be full of patrons on the weekends or during the summer when children are not in school. If you people watch in the middle of a walkway, people are bound to run into you and interact with you. To people watch undisturbed, tuck yourself into an out of the way corner where you can sit down. A park bench, a corner booth at a cafe, or a bench in the mall are all great spots to sit. Balconies and rooftops are the ideal spots in a building. Method 2 of Set goals for your people watching if you want to learn something. You may set out to people watch just to pass the time. Or, you may be looking to observe certain behaviors and mannerisms for a specific purpose. If you are looking to get information from people watching, set those goals beforehand so you know what to do as you watch. Bring a friend with you to have more fun. People watching with another person is always more enjoyable. Grab a friend to sit and chat with you as you observe people. This can make people feel bad or uncomfortable. This will only call attention to you, and your group of friends might get bored. You want to blend in with your surroundings. Avoid flashy shirts and lots of bling. Instead, opt for neutral colors and weather-appropriate clothes to become a person in the crowd rather than standing out as an observer. Bring a notebook to write down interesting moments or people. Take a notebook and a pencil with you when you people watch to write down any great observations or insights that you notice as you observe people. Instead, steal quick glances as you observe them from afar. Act like you are doing something on a phone or laptop. Someone simply sitting and staring can be a little disconcerting to people walking by. Act like you are typing a report or texting a friend instead of simply sitting and watching. Plug headphones into your phone or laptop to look even more inconspicuous. Think about each person that passes and who they might be. To get the most out of your people watching experience, observe how people walk, talk, and interact with others to take guesses as to who they are and why they are here. Layers indicate they are prepared for the weather, while showing skin can mean confidence. Avoid passing judgement on anyone. Everyone has bad days sometimes. Try to be an unbiased observer and simply take in what you see without making judgement calls on it. Crossed arms can mean anger, hunched posture can mean sadness, and relaxed shoulders can indicate happiness. Pay attention to how people stand or sit and make guesses as to how they are feeling. Scowling or scrunched faces indicate anger while raised eyebrows often indicate contentedness or relaxation. Note if they have an accent, a high or low speaking voice, if they seem excited or frustrated, or if they are overly quiet. Make guesses as to how they are feeling based on how they sound and if they are enjoying their conversations. When you watch people, you just watch them. You watch the way they walk, the way they talk, etc. But when you stare at people, you watch them directly. It can be annoying. Not Helpful 15 Helpful Not at all! Stalking is a determination to follow a chosen target relentlessly, following them and being wherever they go. People watching is about being observant and carefully viewing a wide range of people wherever you happen to be. Totally not the same thing. Not Helpful 11 Helpful People-watching is not spying. There is always a chance of that. Just try not to openly stare. Look at someone and then look away. If someone gets angry at you, just apologize. Not Helpful 10 Helpful Check if the person is moving their head around or if they seem to be looking at one thing. If they are watching you when you are moving, check if they turn around to face you when you move. Not Helpful 4 Helpful Buy a set of binoculars, that might increase your range. Not Helpful 7 Helpful Not Helpful 2 Helpful 9. Steve Morley. First, examine your own behavior. Ask yourself if your actions or appearance are appropriate to where you are and what you are expected to be doing. Second, ensure that you are fully abiding by any national, local or organizational laws or rules that apply to where you are. Third, be conscious of any traditions or manners that may cause your behavior to be frowned upon or viewed negatively. Once you have satisfied these conditions, in most Western countries, you are free to express yourself in any way that you choose, whether it be clothes, accessories, hair style, piercings, tattoos etc. Avoid confrontation. Move away if possible. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 5. How do I begin people watching if there are no public areas near me and I have no transportation? Search 'live webcam feeds' on YouTube. There are a lot of webcam feed that show streets, parks and even zoos. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 3. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. If people catch you watching them, they might think you are creepy. Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0. Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published. Related wikiHows. More References 3. About This Article. Co-Authored By:. Co-authors: Updated: January 13, Categories: Featured Articles Hobbies and Crafts. Article Summary X To people watch, practice natural observation by sitting quietly somewhere unobtrusive, like a bench in a busy plaza or under a tree in the park. Italiano: Osservare le Persone Per Hobby. Русский: начать наблюдать за людьми. Deutsch: Mit People Watching beginnen. Bahasa Indonesia: Belajar Mengamati Orang. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read , times. Reader Success Stories. FR Farhajur Rahaman Oct 18, Every article is awesomely made, and this one is not an exception. CL Cokkai Landra Feb 21, Rated this article:. CL Charken Larenburg Jul 14, More reader stories All reader stories Hide reader stories. Did this article help you? Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Share yours! More success stories All success stories Hide success stories. Home Categories Hobbies and Crafts. Follow Us.

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