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How pretending to be a horse helped me explore my own humanity.

Adventures in being a queer bionic woman.

There's a lot to learn about yourself when you take your clothes off.

It was basically ComicCon, only sexier.

I didn't even kiss him until we were at the altar.

There are some things you just can't leave behind.

And why it's more important to be having these discussions than ever.

The psychological motivations may surprise you.

Fifty Shades of Grey is fiction, but the kinky sex in its pages is very real.

Including botched engagements and naked wedding-day selfies.

Sometimes, a girl just wants to finish.

The year is 2017 and we masturbate with the mini-computers we carry around in our pockets.

Can squirting be self-taught? I decided to find out once and for all.

It appears we're not as into cuddling and deep-kissing as everyone thinks.

"[There's a] guy who comes to my apartment Saturday mornings with bagels and lox. His thing is setting up the brunch spread and having sex before we eat it."

Unpopular opinion, I know, but hear me out.

"I felt like I wasn't entitled to be angry because I consented to having sex both times."

Bottom line: Don't sleep on these sex toys.

"I don't want to be the 'up the butt' girl!"

Sorry, but reverse cowgirl has got to go.

One writer investigates what a Killing Kittens party is really like.

Literally exactly what you think would happen.

A currently-pregnant former sex worker stands up for a currently-pregnant current sex worker.

Five pro-dommes reveal the inner workings of the job.

"I had to get over feeling like we need to do every single thing together as a couple."

By Lola B., as told to Rachel Kramer Bussel

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As much hype and attention as we give it, sex is just another normal function of the human body — which can only mean it has the potential to get pretty darn embarrassing. While everyone has had at least one sex slip-up before, these cringe-worthy-but-totally-true stories might make you feel better about some of your more forgettable sexual encounters.
“One evening after a few drinks, this younger boy and I were lying on the ground with our pants off and making out. We removed our undies and he starts moving his hips back and forth, slowly and then faster and faster,” recalls Laura. “His breath got heavier, and then he collapsed on top of me. Mind you, this whole time I just laid there in fear of saying something that would embarrass him because he was a virgin .”
“He looked up at me sweetly and asked, ‘How w-w-was it for you?’ I replied, ‘What? You were between my thighs.’ He laughed it off, but was super embarrassed. When we finally did get around to actually [doing the deed], it was fantastic.”
It was 1969 and Dana was a senior at UCLA. “My girlfriend and I were looking for a place to make ‘nookie’ since my roommate was in my room studying. It was a few days before classes started and the room next door to her room was still vacant, so we went in there and proceeded,” Dana explains.
“Then, there was a knock on the door. We froze. Another knock, then the sound of a key going into the lock. Room was pitch dark, so it was just sounds, but we heard voices out in the hall.”
“In a panic, I threw a blanket — or something — over my girlfriend, grabbed my pants and tried to pull them on as I headed for the door to keep it from opening. I got to the door with my pants just above my knees when the door opened,” he recalls. “Standing in the hall was this sweet young freshman girl with her parents bringing her to her new dorm room! The looks on their faces were priceless. I asked them to give us a few minutes — I mean, what choice did they have?”
“My wife and I decided to add a little spice to our love life by using some aerosol whipped cream. I got the can from the fridge and brought it to our dark bedroom, sprayed it all over her boobs and started to lick it off. It tasted funny and I thought that her skin chemistry was giving the whipped cream an off taste,” says John. “It kept getting worse, so I turned on the light. It was all green from mold. She started laughing hysterically as did I. It killed the mood for the night though. I had a queasy stomach all night long.”
John, who is ironically a marriage, relationship and sexual coach, shares: “My wife and I went out with some friends for bowling and beer. We both had a little too much to drink.” However, that didn’t stop him from initiating intercourse with his wife that night. “I was happily pumping away with a full bladder. I began to feel the urge to ejaculate (or so I thought in my half drunken stupor). The problem was that I was peeing instead of ejaculating.”
Eliza recounts a story from her first year in college. “I was with my boyfriend in his dorm room. His roommate was away for the weekend (or so we thought). I’m under the covers giving him a blow job and having a good time. I don’t even hear the key turn in the door or anything — all of a sudden I just hear his roommate talking.”
“I just froze. I didn’t know what to do,” Eliza recalls. “He’s just shooting the breeze with my boyfriend, and my boyfriend is trying to just play it off and is holding a conversation like I’m not even there. So I just stayed down there, perfectly still, waiting for him to go. He talks for what seems like is eternity (probably only two minutes). Then I hear him say, ‘See ya later… you too Eliza.’ I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.”
“I am the first to admit, I’m not a pro at giving head but I try,” says Trisha. “One night, I was pleasuring my new boyfriend and I removed my mouth for a second to breathe when all of a sudden he ejaculated — right up my nose. It felt like I was drowning for a second and I began choking. He thought it was hysterical — I was mortified by the whole thing. I spent the next half hour blowing my nose.”
Updated by Bethany Ramos on 4/1/2016
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"I'd hook up with the husband before hooking up with his wife..."
"My girlfriend said 'Pull the lever Kronk' while putting my hand on her ponytail."
"The 'straight as spaghetti' concept started making a whole lot of sense to me from that day on."
Hey, penises come in all shapes and sizes.
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WE 👏 WANNA 👏 HEAR 👏 EVERYTHING 👏
"I was told that if I had sex, I would go to both jail and hell."
Abstinence is NOT the only option, people!
An interesting experience makes for a good story.
"I had severe diarrhea during my wedding. While reading our vows, liquid poop started flowing out of me."
TBH, there's no way you're getting out of this unscathed.
Note to self: always check the temp when melting chocolate.
You might want to open this in an incognito tab.
"A piece of shit the size of a golf ball launched right out and slammed onto his lower belly."
Sex toys: they're not all fun and games.
We want to know what gets you going (anonymously if you prefer).
Sure, it was probably embarrassing but I bet it gave you a great story.

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The 10 Best Stories About the First Time You Had Sex
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When we asked for the best stories about the first time you had sex , we knew there would be some weird offerings. And there definitely, definitely were.
Did you know John Stamos has a web series on Yahoo where he interviews other celebrities about…
There was more than one international affair. There were people who knew their relationships were doomed because "he is a spooner and doesn't believe in air conditioning which is a lethal combination when you live in the tropics." We learned that there are " sexual vampires " out there. People have sex in the woods and then walk through cow pastures. There are plenty of caught-in-the-acts . Condoms are left on for far too long. A Beer Lady . Blue vibrators . Men who reach orgasm "while looking dead into Tom Hanks' eyes." People having sex in closets at a Christian camp. Dead Heads .
But there were also amazing stories from people who described feeling accepted for who they were for the first time, from people who found this post to be a great opportunity to be honest about their sexual past in their quest for sobriety and people who, after dealing with sexual assault , found someone to love them consensually and without conditions. To those people: right on. Your stories are "the best" in a very different and more heartwarming way than a lot of the stories we're about to feature, and in many ways, far more important.
Eco-friendly Dog Treats Your furry friends give you all the love every day, so it only makes sense that you want to give them the best in return: food that’s good for them and the planet.
Partner: 28-year old Swiss guitarist in my roommate's band
How it went down: The foreplay was amazing. I was on the last day of my period so I told him he didn't have to perform oral sex on me. Before he entered me for the first time he said (in a thick accent), "First I am going to put on this Swiss lube and then I am going to go inside of you". I was so tight (I couldn't even use tampons before losing my virginity) and it hurt so bad that I started crying and I kept making him stop. He then said "I kind of want to put a pillow over your face". I begged him to let me fellate him to orgasm just to make him stop and then I went home to my house where my 4 male roommates were playing Halo. They all high-fived me and then I went to bed.
Location: His bed, in his house he shared with 7 other dudes. His room was the attic.
Partner: boyfriend, who continued to be my boyfriend for the next 3 years
How it went down: The Big Lebowski was on. We had sex. Then I cried and stared out the window (it was raining) for an hour. Jesus wept. That was the night conservative right wing Buggie started to die.
Location: King suite of a fancy hotel in downtown Baltimore
How it went down: It was our wedding night, and despite having done damn near everything else, we had agreed to save the coitus, the final frontier, until we were married. We're Orthodox Jews, and hey, this was how we justified the everything else. He wasn't a virgin, having gotten religion in college after having his share of partners. I was, technically. After the wedding, still in our dress and suit (respectively), we drove over to the fancy hotel my parents graciously paid for (which is kind of weird in retrospect). I told him I had to "slip into something more comfortable", then went into the bathroom and got into a pair of fuzzy pink footy pajamas. I came out and did a striptease to "Natural Woman". I simply couldn't take this whole "deflowering" thing seriously. We commenced the consummation, in the bed and in the bathtub. I remember being underwhelmed, but knowing we would get better with practice. I didn't bleed, and it didn't hurt. I didn't come until we resorted to our usual fingerbanging - the clit wants what it wants, what can I say. Then we snuggled and watched Family Guy (which totally was still funny and not lame back in 2005), and ate leftover wedding food. It was perfect.
Partner: A guy from the periphery of our friendship group
How it went down: I was very drunk and it happened while we were watching Castle , so I stared into Nathan Fillion's eyes on the screen over his shoulder while he got off and I wondered if all sex was really this boring.
Age: 20 (a month-ish before my 21st birthday)
Location: My best friend's bedroom their house
Partner: My best friend and her husband
How it went down: Backstory - I'm a nerd, and was a bit of a chubster in high school, so I didn't date. After I graduated, I stopped talking to everyone but my best friend from school, got hired by the USDA after a successful apprenticeship, and went to community college. I had a bit of a breakdown from lack of social interaction, and over the course of a year dropped out of college, did a fair amount of drugs (mostly pot), lost 60 lbs, became a vegetarian, quit my science job and started working at the local co-op. I met my first boyfriend at our weekly Dungeons and Dragons session.
We'd been dating for all of two weeks, and had several awkward fumblings where he couldn't stay hard for the condom and would roll over to sulk, and I was getting fed up. He was a virgin too, but he wasn't the only frustrated party in the bed, and I was trying to be supportive but he was having no part of it. I was at the end of my rope, and called my friend to go hang out and bitch. I still lived at home, but she was married and lived with her husband and two kids, so I'd stay at their place frequently. When I got over there, I was greeted with a large bottle of Boone's farm and a bong hit just for me. I griped it out, got ripped, and we started talking about solving my problem. She (and her husband) had made it quite clear before that he was available if I was interested, and I'd engaged in kisses and fumbling with him but nothing more. (We had an unusual friendship, to say the least.) At this point, I was super frustrated, and the alcohol was changing my attitude on the matter from "Isn't this odd?" to "Why the fuck not?"
Her husband came home from work to find a plan hatched and two tipsy girls with devious grins. He was game, so we took the party to the bedroom. Even fortified with liquid courage, I was nervous, but I really really wanted to fuck. There was some kissing between the three of us while clothes came off. I remember sitting on his face kissing her while she rode him for a little bit (I didn't want to go first because I'm a dork). I was on my back when he entered me for the first time. He was big, but it didn't hurt because I'd been masturbating for years. Honestly, it was a bit underwhelming at first. It totally got better though, and we went through a few positions until I ended up on top of him. I didn't come, but I got pretty damned close.
The next day I broke up with my boyfriend. I didn't tell him what had happened the night before. I never slept with my friend or her husband again, and we drifted apart eventually. It was nearly a year before I had sex again. My second boyfriend was awesome, and we fucked like nerdy rabbits. I wouldn't change a thing, except maybe dumping the first boyfriend sooner. He was a tool.
How it went down: I attended a small liberal arts college in the south, and I ended up pledging a fraternity my freshman year. He was the president of that fraternity and three years older than me. Once a year the chapter would have this long, drawn out ritual that ended with the incoming pledges being assigned a "big brother," an upperclassman in the fraternity who would take the younger pledge under his wing. After the ceremony it was tradition for the big brothers to take their "little brother" back to the fraternity house to drink and whatnot. At one point in the night, we ended up going to his room to get some ice, which somehow turned into a slightly drunken awkward kiss that transitioned into slightly drunken awkward man-on-man action.
Partner: Then, she was the receptionist/dispatcher at my work. Now she's my wife. I didn't discover this till later, but she's three years older than me.
How it went down: She joined the company about a year after I did, I was in and out of the office a lot, because my job was mobile, so I'd stop and chat with her whenever I went by. She was fucking gorgeous, huge tits and whip-smart and funny. Me, being at the time, a fat, bespectacled nerd with a serious self-confidence problem, immediately thought "She's too good for me" and masturbated furiously to her image from afar but never made any moves on her for months. But we talke
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