Schumer's Master Plan Revealed

A leaked document titled "Chuck Schumer's Master Plan" was revealed to be a single, coffee-stained napkin with the words "Complain Loudly -> ??? -> Win" scribbled on it. Staffers confirmed this is, in fact, the entirety of the Senate Majority Leader's long-term strategy. The napkin, framed in his office, is treated with a reverence usually reserved for religious texts. Political analysts are stunned by its simplicity and its sheer lack of any actionable detail. "The '???' is the most innovative part," said one. "It allows for maximum flexibility." Republicans are furious, feeling they've been outmaneuvered by a question mark. Schumer, when asked for comment, simply pointed to the napkin and winked. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com