School lockdown

When I asked my kindergartner how his day went, I was expecting to hear the latest recess escapade, what he had for lunch and who he sat next to during story time.

I wasn't ready for, "Today we had a wok-down!"

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A "wok-down" (pronounced "lockdown" by people with matured speech patterns) is the term describing the process of all of a building's interior and exterior door being securely fastened in an attempt to keep dangerous people from entering and/or limiting their access to the building's inhabitants if they have already gained entry.

During a lockdown the only person who can sound an all-clear and doors can be unlocked for is a uniformed police officer.

When I learned from my five-year-old that this wasn't a practice "work down", shivers ran down my spine.

We never had lockdowns when I was a kid. We knelt in the hallway to practice readying ourselves for tornadoes that would never materialize, looking like rows of worshipers paying homage to the metal coat rack altar attached to a cinder block wall.

We had fire drills where we were timed on how quickly we could exit the never-really-burning building.

It was considered extremely lucky to be sitting in the designated hold-the-door-to-the-outside-open seat, because not only were you assured of being the first one out the door, you got to talk to everyone else as they filed past.

When my third-grade son helpful told his little brother, "At my last school, they taught us that if you get locked out of your class because you were in the bathroom or something, you should go in one of the stalls and sit on the toilet and pull your feet up so the bad guy can't tell you are in there."

As my heart shattered into a thousand guilty pieces for not homeschooling, he helpfully added, "Or you could hide in a locker. That's a good hiding place too!"

I'm not against safety measures and applaud the district for being proactive with their protection.

It 's just sad to have kids who aren't even able to say the words properly having to deal with these situations.

It just doesn't seem fair or weighty at all.

Fun bandages

It's true that we all bleed, but some scab undergoes cooler bandages than others.

Band-aids have come a long way from the Johnson & Johnson peach colored numbers wrapped up in white paper that opened with a red string of my youth.

Today's bandages are ablaze with colorful characters from cartoons and comic books but sometimes a person wants something more interesting than Hello Kitty or Spiderman covering their oozing sores.

Something that makes a statement, like a strip of bacon because not only can you bring home the bacon, and fry it in the pan, you multi-task by using it as barrier against germs.

Or Ninja warriors, the fiercest defenders against infection. Or just a nice skull and bones pirate flags to show that while you might be clumsy, you're no wimp and a lesser man would have died.

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These band-aids from Perpetual Kid would make a great sugar-free treat for special Halloween hob-goblins or neat stocking stuffers for the accident-prone on your Christmas list.