School Teen Masturbation

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Having never been a boy, I had no idea about all the weird shit boys do to get off. Even though I had a big brother, I wasn’t privy to the vast array of strange self-satisfying tools and tricks teenage boys have up their sleeves. That is, until I met my husband and he told me a hilarious story about why he loved climbing the pole at school.
“At first,” he explained, “I just climbed because I liked to see how fast I could get to the top. But one day when I climbed something weird happened. It felt really good. Like, so good I would make sure to climb that pole every morning and every lunch.”
Even as my own sons grew, I didn’t understand just how resourceful boys could be, until I questioned my then-12-year-old about why he had a giant box of condoms in his bedroom.
His hesitation should have been my first clue.
“Well, umm,” he said. “I use them to, uh, you know…”
“To what?” I asked. I had no idea what he was trying to say.
“Oh. Oh, well, OK,” was all I managed to say.
A week later, while out for drinks with my girlfriends, who also had teen boys, I asked if that was normal.
“I don’t know about condoms,” my friend Tammy said, “but I found out my son Charlie was using socks.”
“Socks?” I had never heard of boys sexualizing slippers.
“Yeah, socks. Your boys don’t do that?” Tammy asked. “Well, Charlie does. I swear I won’t even touch his laundry anymore. All it took was one time grabbing a sock that was hard as a rock and I was done. It was nasty!”
Learning about socks, and laughing my ass off watching the Bridesmaids scene where a mom describes cracking her son’s comforter, made me curious about what other means boys employ to get their (pun intended) socks off.
Naturally, I first turned to my husband and sons to learn more. I was in for a surprise with their answers.
Like machine gun fire, my eldest son listed his favorite masturbation props.
“Let’s see, there’s good old wadded-up toilet paper, towels, even shirts. Heck, I’ll use dirty laundry if it’s there. Whatever is within reach, really,” he shared. As he spoke, my younger son nodded his head emphatically.
“Anything else?” I asked. I was all business. Hey, who was I to judge? As a teen, I’d had an amorous moment or two with my favorite bottle of perfume, Love’s Baby Soft, which, if anyone remembers, was totally shaped like a dildo.
“OK, don’t laugh, but one time I put my penis in the vacuum hose,” my youngest said.
“While it was on?” I asked. I’d lost my deadpan expression the moment I picture my son losing his penis in a vacuuming accident.
“Yeah, but it was on low, don’t worry,” he reassured me. “It didn’t feel that good, so I only did it once.”
“Oh, what about paper towel rolls?” my oldest added. “And that time I used the cantaloupe?”
Even my husband was shocked at the cantaloupe revelation. Fruit. Really? I thought that was only a thing women in prison did.
“And the trash can,” my youngest said. Was nothing sacred?
By the end of our conversation, I had the idea that my sons, and probably all teenage boys, used anything and everything at their disposal to masturbate.
With my curiosity quelled, I had to wonder if my quest for knowledge was a worthy endeavor. Honestly, I’ll probably never look at a cantaloupe the same way again, but I am grateful I had this awkward, yet illuminating, discussion with my kids.
They felt confident enough to be real, knowing full well I would write this information and share it with the world. It may seem like too much for some parents, but talks like these let me know that my sons can truly be open with me about any subject, no matter how uncomfortable. Like, penis-in-a-vacuum uncomfortable. Ouch.
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The Main Sex Education Programs Taught in Schools
Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved
Denise Witmer is a freelance writer and mother of three children, who has authored several books and countless articles on parenting teens since 1997.
Fact checked by Cara Lustik on May 17, 2020
Cara Lustik is a fact checker and copywriter. 
There are two basic types of sex education classes, and which is taught depends on what your state or local school district mandates. Your teen will either be learning the Comprehensive Sexuality Education or the Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Program.1
These programs represent two completely different schools of thought. It is imperative for you to know what your child is learning so you can be sure that the information is complete, accurate, and reflects your family's values. You want to be sure that you are prepared to answer questions your teen may have.
Comprehensive Sexuality Education is a program that starts in early childhood and continues through high school.2 It teaches that sexuality is a natural, normal part of healthy living and brings up age-appropriate sexuality topics.
Comprehensive Sexuality Education covers the broad spectrum of sex education, including:
Comprehensive Sexuality Education includes accurate medical information on sexually transmitted infections and HIV. And although abstinence is addressed, it also emphasizes strategies to reduce the risk of unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Programs emphasize abstinence from all sexual behaviors. It teaches that sexual expression outside of marriage could have harmful psychological, social, and physical consequences.
Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Programs do not cover information on:1
Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Programs may address using condoms, but they emphasize the failure rates of using them. 
You'll want to fill in any gaps in your teen's knowledge. For example, the school's sex education program may focus on birth control and safe sex, without addressing the emotional issues that accompany becoming sexually active. Or, it may not fully address topics of sexuality you want your child to know about.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, almost half of all teenagers become sexually active between the ages of 15 and 19.3
Almost 20 percent of teens do not use birth control the first time they engage in sexual intercourse, and this is a statistic that has not changed over time.
The sex education curriculum will give your teen a foundation from which to form questions and have conversations with you. They will bring examples from class that you may not agree with or they may share things that their peers have said.
Sex education shouldn't only be about having "the sex talk." Instead, it should be a series of open conversations over the course of many years. As your teen matures, they will have more questions about sex. You may be the source of answers if you make it comfortable for your teen to bring you questions.
Get diet and wellness tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy.
Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
Hall KS, Mcdermott sales J, Komro KA, Santelli J. The State of Sex Education in the United States. J Adolesc Health. 2016;58(6):595-7. doi:10.1016/j.jadohealth.2016.03.032
Committee Opinion No. 678: Comprehensive Sexuality Education. Obstet Gynecol. 2016;128(5):e227-e230. doi:10.1097/AOG.0000000000001769
National Conference of State Legislatures. State Policies on Sex Education in Schools. Published April 1, 2020.
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Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved
Verywell Family is part of the Dotdash publishing family.

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