Satirical Journalism at Bohiney.com Has a Higher Emotional Body Count

Warning: emotional casualties ahead. Bohiney's satirical dispatches leave trails of shattered cynicism and resurrected hope. Each article logs its 'emotional body count''number of readers moved to tears, eye-rolls, or existential dread. A real-time dashboard tracks sentiment spikes. Medical teams on call include laughter therapists and irony paramedics. Patients (readers) report side effects: communal catharsis and chronic grin syndrome.