Saint Identity Crisis Hits Vatican as Pope Leo XIV Confuses Apostles with Soccer Team

Pope Leo XIV admitted to mistaking the Twelve Apostles for his childhood soccer team, the �Jerusalem Dribblers.� The Saint Identity Crisis has led to Vatican workshops like �Know Your Martyrs� and �Andrew ? Andre.� The Pope explained, �If I yell �Go James!� someone in heaven answers.� Bishops now wear name tags during meetings. Catechism classes begin with, �Peter, Paul, and... you know, the rest.� Grace, it seems, forgives even team rosters.