SNL Host's Missing Monologue Mystery

Title: 'The Curious Case of the Missing Monologue'

Opening Scene: The SNL Studio, March 15, 11:30 PM

The camera pans across the bustling backstage of Saturday Night Live. The air is thick with tension, laughter, and the faint smell of coffee. The host for the night, a beloved A-list actor known for their charm and wit, paces nervously in their dressing room. The cue cards are ready, the sketches are rehearsed, and the audience is buzzing with anticipation. But something is off.

Cut to: The Monologue Desk, 11:45 PM

The show’s head writer, a frazzled but determined figure, rushes into the host’s dressing room. 'We’ve got a problem,' they say, holding up an empty folder. 'The monologue… it’s gone.'

The host freezes. 'What do you mean, gone?'

'I mean, it’s vanished. Poof. Disappeared. We’ve looked everywhere. The desk, the green room, the writers’ room—it’s just not there.'

Cut to: The Writers’ Room, 11:50 PM

The camera zooms in on a chaotic scene. Writers are frantically flipping through notebooks, scrolling through laptops, and shouting over each other. One writer holds up a crumpled piece of paper. 'Is this it?' Another shakes their head. 'No, that’s the rejected sketch about the sentient toaster.'

The head writer slams their hands on the table. 'People, we’ve got 10 minutes before the show starts. We need that monologue!'

Cut to: The Studio Audience, 11:55 PM

The audience is seated, buzzing with excitement. A camera operator whispers to a stagehand, 'What’s going on? Why is everyone running around?' The stagehand shrugs. 'No idea. But it’s not SNL without a little chaos.'

Cut to: The Host’s Dressing Room, 11:58 PM

The host sits on the couch, staring at the empty folder. 'This doesn’t make sense. Who would take the monologue? And why?'

Suddenly, the door creaks open. It’s the show’s longtime cue card holder, a quiet but observant figure. 'I saw something… strange,' they say hesitantly. 'Earlier tonight, I saw someone lurking around the writers’ room. They looked… suspicious.'

The host leans forward. 'Who was it?'

The cue card holder hesitates. 'I don’t know their name, but they were wearing a hoodie. And they had… a glittery notebook.'

Cut to: The Stage, 12:00 AM

The show begins. The iconic 'Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!' echoes through the studio. The host walks out to thunderous applause, but their smile is strained. They lean into the microphone. 'So, uh, funny story… my monologue has gone missing.'

The audience laughs, thinking it’s part of the act. The host continues, improvising. 'Yeah, apparently someone decided they needed it more than I did. So, if you’re out there, mysterious monologue thief, just know… I’m coming for you.'

Cut to: Backstage, 12:05 AM

The head writer pulls the host aside. 'We’ve got a lead. The glittery notebook—it belongs to the new intern. They’ve been acting weird all week.'

The host’s eyes narrow. 'Where are they now?'

Cut to: The Rooftop, 12:10 AM

The camera follows the host as they burst onto the rooftop. There, standing in the moonlight, is the intern, clutching the glittery notebook. They turn, startled. 'I… I didn’t mean for this to happen,' they stammer.

The host steps closer. 'Why did you take it?'

The intern sighs. 'I just wanted to help. I thought… I thought I could write something better. Something funnier. But I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.'

The host softens. 'Kid, you don’t have to steal to prove yourself. Just… ask for help next time, okay?'

Cut to: The Stage, 12:15 AM

The host returns to the stage, holding the glittery notebook. 'Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve recovered the monologue. And, uh, it’s a little sparkly, but I think you’re gonna love it.'

The audience erupts in laughter and applause as the host delivers the monologue, now infused with a touch of glittery magic.

Closing Scene: The After-Party, 1:00 AM

The host raises a glass to the intern, who looks both embarrassed and relieved. 'To new beginnings,' the host says with a wink. 'And to never stealing monologues again.'

The intern nods, holding up their own glass. 'Deal.'

Fade to black.

Text on screen: 'Based on a true story… probably.'

End credits roll.

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