SKAM Italia Group Call (11/05/20)

Luchino: Yo everyone!

Martino: Yo champs.

Elia: What the fuck is this?

Luchino: It’s a group call, it would’ve taken me an eternity to explain everything via text

Gio: Why, you can do it now?

Luchino: Yeah why?

Martino: Nah bro it’s like illegal in 20 countries

Elia: They’re gonna arrest us...

Luchino: Yeah whatever I don’t care, it’s an emergency. Basically I told Silvia I couldn’t go pick up the glasses because I was, like, busy, yeah?

Gio: C’mon Luchino you’ve never got shit to do, it’s not believable, go pick those glasses. 

Luchino: It was to see what she would say, like if she got jealous or whatever.

Elia: And it worked?

Luchino: I think not, she didn’t say anything.

Martino: I would’ve never have said it bro, never.

Gio: Weird!

Luchino: The important thing is that you have to go along with me in Bracciano.

Gio: Along with what bro

Martino: What the fuck are you talking about?

Luchino: Alright listen to me, listen to me. Basically you have to ask me, when she’s close, “so how did it go with”, uhm, I don’t know, how can we call it...

Elia: Fulvia!

Gio: Luchino can I tell you this sounds like a really shitty idea?

Martino: Can I see I agree?

Elia: I agree too.

Luchino: C’mon bro please, for once, help me...

Elia: C’mon let’s call her… Roberta, yeah

Martino: Noo, are you nuts, she’ll think you went on a date with Roberta from the radio group…

Elia: Who’s that

Luchino: Who?

Gio: Who the fuck is Roberta from the radio group?

Martino: It’s the crazy theatre kid

Gio: Oh God stop

Elia: Are you dumb, leave it

Gio: Alright then… Rachel. Something exotic, biblical, far away…

Elia: Rachel…?

Martino: “Exotic” guys she’s from Torre Maura

Luchino: Alright then Rachel. So you go like “Bro how did it go with Rachel?” and I’ll be all like “No no shut up shut up” so she’ll get jealous and ask herself, “Who’s Rachel now?”

Martino: I don’t think she’ll say anything, but if you believe it…

Elia: Yeah me neither

Luchino: Thanks for all the faith anyways...

Martino: Whatever, if she says anything what do you want us to say after she’s said “who’s rachel”?

Luchino: Errrrr like you say “no no nothing” after that I’ll call you and show you some stuff on the phone, random stuff, and you’ll make these faces as to say “shit she’s hot!” Got it? Got it?

* silence *

Elia: Yeah… yeah yeah.

Luchino: Guys...?

Luchino: Guys are you secretly texting each other ?

* laughs *

Elia: Do you want honesty? Full honesty?

Luchino: You little shits, little. shits.

Gio: Whatever, let’s just say we’re noticing you’re kind of going nuts, so to speak...

Luchino: C’mon, give me a better idea rather than mock me, give me a better one!

Gio: C’mon Lu! Here’s a better idea: you approach her and say “Look I don’t feel like it anymore, if we have to keep going like this let’s not talk to each other anymore, I prefer it this way”

Elia: Yeah so she’ll tell him “Aight let’s not talk anymore, whatever”

Gio: Yeah whatever at least you’ll have shown you are a real man, I mean… she’ll get over it and stop thinking about this stupid shit like Rachel, I mean, poor guy.

Luchino: You came up with Rachel bro, not me…

Elia: True that.

Gio: As if...

Elia: Eh, you know since he started dating Sofia our “love wizard” got kind of out of shape... 

Martino: I know right? Worn out rather than out of shape.

Gio: No guys, let’s not do this now, alright? Love wizard does magic, not miracles.

Luchino: Alright guys I got this, fuck off will ya?

Martino: Noo guys, poor smitten Luchino, let’s help him out c’mon

Gio: Luchino...

Luchino: C’mon bro what do I gotta do help me out!

Gio: What do you mean what do you gotta do? You need to find us a drum player, then we’ll see!

Luchino: I’m working on it, don’t worry!

Gio: Yeah right… Guys I’m going ‘cause Sofia finished her training earlier. Bye!

Elia: Yeah, she’s just started at best

Martino: Yeah, as if! Bye!

Elia: Bye champs!

Luchino: No guys the moment she sees–

* they leave the call *

Luchino: Guys??