SCOTUS: Let Them Fly

In a landmark ruling, SCOTUS declared birds can't be regulated by airspace laws. Justice Albatross wrote, 'If God gave them wings, FAA must back off.' Pigeons in D.C. took victory laps over government buildings. One blue jay asked reporters, 'Can I sue for past turbulence?' Drones now require feather permits. Geese are forming a union. This decision is expected to ripple into duck ponds and parakeet caf's nationwide. Airlines remain silent, though one pilot tweeted 'We've lost air supremacy to sparrows.'