Russians Teens Like

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The dedication that Russian women have to look beautiful is just scary. For the majority of them life is like a podium, and so they have to look sparkling even on the way to get a newspaper or walking the dog. My friend Sasha wears high heels every day and doesn’t worry about the lack of comfort as soon as it looks great. Also, during five years of teaching she has never appeared at school wearing the same outfit twice. When I asked her why she cares so much about her appearance, she looks surprised: “Why would I choose to not look beautiful? Beauty is power and respect. How is anyone going to notice your rich inner world if you don’t attract attention?”
The worst thing is that if you are going out with a Russian girl you will either have to dress up and put a lot of effort in looking nice, or everyone will be looking at you and wondering, how did a pretty lady like her end up with that slob?
A Russian girl will be your most devoted friend, your best advisor, critic and even your doctor if you are sick. Ladies in Russia are caring and tender, and whatever happens, they will be by your shoulder ready to face any trouble together. The best example of loyalty of Russian women: in the 19th century there was a riot against the tsar, and the aristocrats who participated in that riot were sentenced for a lifelong exile and hard labor in Siberia. Their wives followed them voluntarily to cold deserted lands and shared the punishment.
A Russian woman truly believes that her partner is the best person on the planet, the most talented, the strongest, the smartest — and she is sincere about that, because she values herself highly too. And if she believes she is the queen, she’d only choose the king and treat him like the king – with the respect, care, love and support.
If you think loyalty is unnecessary and boring, don’t date Russians.
This is dangerous. Visiting your girlfriend’s house will be accompanied with feasts (soups, meat, soups with meat, salads consisting of 50% mayo, potatoes, potatoes, bliny with mince and more potatoes, and then a cake for dessert), and as it is not polite to not finish your meal in Russia, you will have to deal with all that amount of food. You’d expect help from your beloved, but when it comes to hospitality, all Russians tend to become unreasonable and overfeed their guests until it is hard to move. She will probably offer you another piece of pie. Is dating a Russian girl worth putting on a lot of weight?
And don’t forget the initiation: the dad will most likely test you at some point. You should prove that the family can trust you with their precious child. Tests are different in each family. For example, my boyfriend Jacques had to drink a full bottle of vodka with my dad. Otherwise he would be considered too weak to protect me in danger. Lucky for all of us, Jacques passed the test successfully, and we had to celebrate it with more cake.
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Nekrasov, a Russian 19th century poet said: “a Russian woman can stop a galloping horse and enter the burning house.” This is a powerful image of an independent woman who doesn’t really need any help or protection from men. Girls in Russia do not believe in ideal relationships and think that even if their Prince Charming finds them, they have to be able to live on their own. Building a career and getting a second degree often sounds more appealing than trying to find someone who will value their personality and freedom.
A Russian woman will be very independent in a relationship, and very stubborn, too. But on the other hand, expect bravery in danger and trouble, and the strength that will help both of you overcome the most difficult times.
Russian women are very demanding. They don’t want just a guy who will love them madly. They want the best man alive to love them madly. Good old manners are very important: you are expected to open doors, help to put on coats, bring flowers when you go on a date. If you are not a gentleman, it is not even worth trying.
But Russian women don’t only pay attention to what you do for them. Don’t forget the others, be a valiant knight! Offer your seat in transport to elderly people and save a kitten from stray dogs. Once I saw a man jump into sewage to save tiny ducklings that fell down a hatch – in the eyes of his girlfriend he was a real hero.
Russians are reserved and try to keep the distance before you become close to them. Any Russian girl can create an impression of Ice Queen, even if she likes you (especially if she really likes you!). I met Paul at work on one of my tours, and he told me he came to Moscow to visit his girlfriend. “When we started dating, I was challenged with the wall of ice between us, as if she didn’t want to open up or let me closer. Slowly, step by step, I discover that underneath this ice there was the most loving and caring person in the world.”
For many Russian women cooking is a way to show their love, so be prepared for food experiments. At first the cuisine might seem absolutely normal and even a little boring. But when you get to eat Russian food more often than during occasional visit to her parents, you will have more and more questions. What is that weird purple salad? Beetroot with herring? Pancakes with caviar? Why is she putting cabbage in pies (and everywhere else)? How many variations of pickles are there on Earth? Fermented rye bread drink…well, that one is surprisingly decent! You might hate most of the meals, but occasionally there will be something great (e.g., my boyfriend loves Russian salad. He says it is because there is no cabbage there).
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Steer from crisis to recovery with the FT
Their lives and attitudes have been shaped by one man. What do they really think of their president?
Alexander Khazbiyev was just five years old when Vladimir Putin was first sworn in as Russia’s president. The private ceremony at the start of the new ­millennium signalled the rise of the former spy from nervous newcomer to global prominence.
In May 2018, Alexander — then 24 — was in the ­audience at the president’s most recent inauguration, a glitzy, televised ceremony in the Grand Kremlin Palace to mark the beginning of Putin’s fourth term in office.
In the two decades between, Putin has gone from anonymous apparatchik to one of the world’s most powerful men, and Russia’s economy has grown to more than six times its 2000 size, following ­massive oil-fuelled booms and sharp recessions.
The country has joined the World Trade Organization, been kicked out of the G8, invaded two neighbours and hosted a World Cup and a Winter Olympics. Putin, now 67, has sparred with four US presidents and five British prime ministers.
“In my mind, there is no such period of time when Putin was not there, when he did not exist,” says Alexander, a university teacher who lives in St Petersburg and gained his ticket to the inauguration through Network, a pro-Putin youth group.
“I have never really stopped to think about this country without him as president. I’m convinced that Putin as a politician is one thing . . . but the system he has created will always be here,” he says. “Well, that is what I hope.”
Alexander is not alone. A generation of Russians — about 40 million people — have been born or spent their entire education in a political system that revolves around one man.
This Putin generation, who have grown up under his regime, are now coming of age. Over the past few months, the FT interviewed almost 50 of them, all aged between 18 and 25 and hailing from Moscow, St Petersburg, Siberia and beyond.
Putin’s Kremlin has sought to create a generation largely numb to politics, through the repression of opposition movements, a propaganda-heavy media machine and a cult of personality.
For tens of millions, the only change of leadership in their lifetime has been a cosmetic one — a job swap engineered by Putin that saw him rule the country as prime minister between 2008 and 2012 before returning as president.
His time in charge of the country is second only to Joseph Stalin’s 31-year rule over the Soviet Union, while his party, United Russia, has never held fewer than 238 seats in the 450-strong national parliament.
Almost all of the young Russians who talked to the FT recognise the unspoken contract forced on them by Putin’s regime: social stability and economic progress in exchange for colourless, restricted democracy.
Many expressed support and admiration for the only leader they have ever known. But others railed against a man who has ruled for longer than they have been alive, and created a system in which they feel increasingly powerless.
Putin’s pitch to voters of all generations is simple: he is the man who ended the chaos of the 1990s following the collapse of the Soviet Union, and replaced lawlessness and instability with a solid state and economic growth.
Or as Vitya, a 24-year-old from central Siberia, puts it, repeating a mantra drilled into him by his parents and the Kremlin: “We associate the change of power with hunger and suffering.”
Those who seek change from Putin have found they must compete against not just the might of the Kremlin and the truncheons of the riot police but also the apathy common among the vast majority of their fellow youth — a generation raised on a strict diet of political indifference.
“We were born in this system, and this system is in our brains. So it is very, very difficult to even start to think about the possibility of changing it,” says Maria, 21, from Taganrog on the Black Sea.
By most calculations, Russia’s economy shrank by 60 per cent between 1991 and 1999, a bigger contraction than during the second world war. Under then president Boris Yeltsin, the country fell into a national depression, cast as the loser in the cold war and no longer the powerful global actor it had believed itself to be.
Putin’s propaganda portrays him as the bringer of plenty, boosted by an opportune six-fold surge in global oil prices between 1998 and 2008 that vastly inflated Russia’s income from energy exports.
According to this, out went Yeltsin and his oligarch cronies, economic uncertainty and internal strife; in came a strong, dependable leader, cash in your bank account and shopping centres where a newly minted middle class could buy Zara jeans, try on Nike trainers and lunch at KFC.
“I come from a military family. I grew up in a garrison town. I remember watching the [2000 inauguration] broadcast, and the atmosphere of anticipation, of my family waiting for change,” says Alexander.
“My parents were both officers, they hadn’t been paid their wages for half a year. The entire community had this sense of being betrayed by the country. I remember when Vladimir Putin came, both my mother and father had such high expectations that something would change. And it did. It all turned out for the best.
“Today, in Russia, if you want to achieve something, you can make it. This freedom has been guaranteed, for the first time in the history of our country,” he says. “We are the luckiest generation in the whole of Russian history.”
Until 2014, few would have disagreed. Russia’s economy soared in the first decade of Putin’s rule, driving up living standards. The number of people attending university rose 50 per cent between 2000 and 2010, and unemployment among the under-25s fell by a quarter.
Coffee shops and bars began to multiply, and European and American brands flooded the country to cater to the first generation with easy access to western culture and international travel.
“The current generation of young Russians are the happiest since 1991,” says Eduard Ponarin, professor of sociology at Russia’s Higher School of Economics. “Happy, apolitical and nationalist, to generalise . . . and that is why politics is nothing to worry about, for most . . . it would take something dramatic or very, very bad to politicise them,” he says.
Yet a new, more sober economic reality has marked Putin’s second stint in the Kremlin. In 2014, Russia was hit by twin shocks: an oil-price collapse that sparked a short recession and a 50 per cent fall in the value of the rouble, and the imposition of western sanctions in response to Moscow’s invasion and annexation of Crimea.
In the years since, Russia’s economy has flatlined. Real incomes have fallen for five of the past six years. Youth unemployment in Russia is more than three times the rate of the total population, according to 2018 data, compared with just twice the rate in 2000.
A study conducted in October by the Levada Center, Russia’s sole independent pollster, showed 53 per cent of 18- to 24-year-olds wanted to leave the country, the highest level since 2009. For these members of the Putin generation, the president’s social ­contract is bust.
From the architecture museum in Moscow where he works, Vasily can see the ­towering walls of the Kremlin. It’s just a few hundred metres away but it might as well be hundreds of miles.
“There are two different worlds, the one in which I live, and the one with a cortège and flashing lights,” says Vasily, 23, who was raised in St Petersburg.
Like many we spoke to, he was not comfortable having his surname published, for fear of reprisals. “In theory, I understand that this [political] world concerns me,” he says. “But on the other hand, it seems to me like some sort of game.”
Vasily has voted once in his life, in a small city council election, and then only because a friend of his was running. “I don’t really discuss politics, only because I don’t understand much, it doesn’t interest me much, and it reinforces this feeling of alienation,” he says.
“I know that hypothetically speaking there are problems, and that in some respects we are moving in the wrong direction, but while you’re sitting comfortably, you do not feel like doing anything,” he explains. “I have lots of friends that would kill me for saying these things — [they say] we need to create and work towards a civil society . . . [But] as long as my life does not drive me to the edge, I do not want to act, because it’s more trouble than it’s worth.”
Among her friends in Tomsk, a midsized city in central Siberia, Irina, 19, uses a common phrase for people who like to complain about Putin but are afraid of taking action: divannye kritiki, or “sofa critics”. “A lot of people criticise but no one does anything…” she says. “The mentality is that all owe something, but as an individual you don’t want to do anything. They think: ‘What can I do alone? What can I change by myself?’ So they give up.
“If you are at a party, it is considered strange if you try to discuss politics. It’s really weird, so we don’t even try,” she explains. “I’m too young to solve problems. I have my own problems.”
Vasily and Irina speak for many. Two-thirds of Russian schoolchildren say they have no interest in politics, according to a national survey released in October.
When you have a lack of political competition… it makes politics less attractive to young people
Life spent under one president has made young people “not pro-Putin or anti-Putin, but rather disengaged”, according to a senior official who has worked in the Kremlin. “It is obvious that the more competitive a situation you have in politics, the more attractive it is for everyone, but especially young people. When you have a lack of political competition, between either parties or individuals, it makes politics less attractive to young people.
“If you are thinking strategically, then absolutely it makes [young people] less dangerous to those in power,” he added. “A lack of competition in any space makes people more stupid, less intelligent — in business, and in politics. If you are the monopoly, then it is a great pleasure to be a monopolist.”
Putin certainly enjoys his monopoly. Of the parliamentary seats not held by United Russia, almost all are taken by MPs from the “systemic opposition”, a network of ostensibly separate parties that take funding or orders from the Kremlin. These parties provide an outlet for public anger at controversial decisions. More crudely, they mop up disgruntled voters who might otherwise have gone to real opposition movements.
The man at the heart of attempts to fan opposition into some form of action is Alexei Navalny. The 43-year-old lawyer, who rose to prominence after winning 27 per cent of the vote to become mayor of Moscow in 2013, has used a series of investigations exposing corruption by senior politicians to tap into rising anger at the regime.
He has also sought to mobilise the Putin generation in street demonstrations and at the ballot box. Young people in search of anti-Putin media are largely limited to his broadcasts, along with social media channels run by a handful of other opposition figures, including rappers. Navalny’s YouTube channels boast more than 4.4 million subscribers, most of whom are young, urban Russians.
One student from Kemerovo, in the heart of Siberia’s coal country, recalls officers from the FSB, Russia’s internal intelligence agency, coming to his school and ordering the headteacher to ban pupils from subscribing to Navalny’s social media pages.
“I didn’t even look up information on [Navalny], because I was aware of the risk of being put in jail,” he says. “People don’t talk about these stories . . . And everybody accepts such a situation.”
Many of those who spoke to the FT said they did not necessarily support Navalny’s actions, and felt that the marches and protests, which often end in police aggression and mass arrests, are futile and unproductive.
“I went to Navalny’s meetings, along with my brother and some friends,” says Vasily. “I don’t like their methods, they are unpleasant . . . He and his people’s approach is too aggressive.
“It’s funny because you’re taken to the police station, and the police are thinking, ‘Again these schoolchildren, we’ve been brought schoolchildren again,’” he says. “These meetings, you’ve gone once, then twice, shouted ar
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