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Jackie and John discuss swingers and the somewhat 'taboo' lifestyle
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Published: 17:12 BST, 24 July 2017 | Updated: 21:51 BST, 24 July 2017
A photographer is sharing an intimate look at the secret lives of swingers after being welcomed into a local community of sexually adventurous subjects
British-born photographer and author David Haslam, 52, spent eight months documenting swinger culture in southeast Michigan, photographing and interviewing participants at their sex parties.
He has now launched a Kickstarter to raise funds to publish the images in a book called Swing Strong: The Naked Truth.
A look inside: British-born photographer and author David Haslam, 52, photographed swingers for a new series
Risqué: He followed around the swinger community in Michigan, near Detroit, for eight months
Taboo: He took pictures and interviewed members of the community
Different strokes: Parties he went to ranged in size from small to large, with about 80 people at the biggest ones
Coming soon? He is aiming to publish the images in a book called Swing Strong: The Naked Truth and is raising funds on Kickstarter
Project: Haslam first started photographing swingers earlier this year when a friend introduced him to some people in the community 
Haslam is not a swinger himself, and had no experience with the community until earlier this year.
That's when a friend who used to be a swinger herself — until she met her husband at one of these parties — suggested he photograph the swingers, and introduced him to a few of them.
From then, he spent eight months attending their sex parties, which ranged from small gatherings to hotel parties of around 80 people. 
Haslam says that the ones he's met and photographed are all 'regular' people with normal jobs, despite what those outside the community might think.
'The lifestyle is considered on the fringe or even taboo in most parts of the "vanilla" world,' he wrote on Kickstarter.
Not what you think: He said the group is racially and economically diverse and the swingers he met all have 'normal' jobs
Ladies first: He noted that the men in the group are very respectful and protective of the women
Women on top: In fact, there are more men than women, so the ladies have their pick
Everyone's invited: The people involved have a range of body types, from fit to overweight
Group sex: The photographer said that people within the swinging community exude confidence and sensuality
The ones he met come in all types: They have different income and education levels, work in different fields, are racially diverse, and have all different body types, from fit to overweight. 
Both singles (with people they are dating or special 'swing' partners) and couples attend the parties. Sometimes, the couples are married and started swinging after years together to spice things up.
'Swinging is not a large group of people living in run-down trailer parks, having free sex with everyone and anyone,' he explained. 
'There are protocols in place. Rules to be followed. A certain social structure to be observed.'
Condoms are almost always used, and there is a trust among the group where strong friendships form.
Be respectful: There are a lot of rules, and those who don't stick to them are kicked out
Safety first! Condoms are almost always used in these parties
'Swingers watch each other's backs, and troublemakers and rule-breakers are removed from the organized swinging groups,' he wrote.
Though the group is mixed in most ways, Haslam said men outnumber the women at these parties. 
'As a result the women always get plenty of action if they want it,' he told The Sun . 'As a matter of fact, the entire culture, at least from what we've seen so far, is controlled by the women. No means no. People are protective of the ladies involved.'
Women he has interviewed have also told him that they are more comfortable with men who are also swingers than those they meet outside the community.
At home: Women he has interviewed have also told him that they are more comfortable with men who are also swingers than those they meet outside the community
Unexpected: Many of the swingers are couples looking to spice things up
Must bring date: There are also singles who show up with dates or swing partners
'I think people are curious about swinging and desire a peek into the world, or for those who might be interested in trying it out for themselves,' said Haslam
Pictures from the parties show couples and groups of three smiling in bed. They hug, kiss, and cuddle.
They're pictured in various states of undress, with opposite and same-sex couples touching each other.
Haslam is currently raising funds for a 'pilot' book but hopes to turn the photos into a series. 
'I think people are curious about swinging and desire a peek into the world, or for those who might be interested in trying it out for themselves. It is also a vehicle for self-expression, both physical and intellectual, by the participants,' he said.
'Many of them would not be considered sexy by mainstream standards, yet they exude confidence and sensuality in every aspect. It has been an unexpected benefit to help many individuals portray their sexuality.'
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For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed-that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.
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