Russian Schoolgirl Lessons
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Russian Schoolgirl Lessons
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Fancy the look of a Russian woman on a dating site? The chat’s going well and it seems she’s hooked, lined, and sinkered? Get real. It’s more likely she’s stalking her prey, waiting for the kill. At least there are plenty of courses in Russia teaching just that.
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The cheap plastic chairs, bookshelf, and small wardrobe contrast sharply with the high ceilings and sparkling chandelier. A pleasant-looking buxom brunette diligently writes something on the sheet of paper resting on her lap. The other participants — a woman in a red jacket with a rigid bob cut, a striking slender blonde with a ragged hairstyle, a woman of schoolgirl appearance, and a curly-headed young guy — do the same.
“Sveta, what have you got?” asks the blonde of about 40, sitting across from the other four. Meet Irina Emelyanova, the course leader. She describes herself as an all-in-one married mother of two, certified psychologist, hypnotherapist, and energy therapist.
The first task for the trainees is to write down their goals as if they’ve already been achieved.
“Well, I got rid of my debts, improved my relationship with my children, found a husband...,” the brunette answers timidly, reading from the sheet.
“No, not like that! Write: I’m free, independent, and have the love of my life! That’s the message you need to take home. Stuff debts!” the blonde dishes out a ticking-off.
The other participants also begin to cross out things on their sheets.
This course in how to seduce men (including foreigners), one of many available, is held in a small office building in central Moscow. The first lesson is free, after which each themed class costs 7,200 rubles ($110).
Imagine you’re flipping through the profile of a Russian girl in Tinder. Blonde, blue eyes, likes traveling, seemingly caring and affectionate, loves cooking. Do you think she’s genuine? Perhaps. But keep in mind that she might not have created the profile herself.
Although the stereotypical “Russian mail-order bride” desperate to bag a foreign husband is gradually receding into the past, special online courses on how to fill out profiles on dating sites and chat with foreigners still exist.
The founder of one such course, Rina Piantanida , who married a Greek, offers a series of YouTube videos on how to “win” a foreign man. The main audience is women on the wrong side of 30.
“Tell him you want to love and be loved,” she instructs in one of her tutorials. “A simple, normal woman is what foreign men want. Forget being special, they need that like a hole in the head.”
She advises never to write a foreigner that he “must” do or be something, because “they have a different mentality.” Appearing too self-sufficient or openly declaring that she’s looking for a rich man are also faux pas for a woman — he’ll run a mile. The best way to seduce a foreigner, according to Piantanida, is to show that you are tender, affectionate, and caring.
In addition, real Russian beauties can have individual profiles created for them by marriage agencies specializing in foreign husband-hunting.
One of these agencies flamboyantly calls itself “an accelerator for women to meet foreigners.” Such “accelerator” courses not only teach how to communicate with men, but provide profiles of foreigners looking for a Russian woman. Both sides have to pay for the service; the amounts are not specified.
“We start with emoticons and light-hearted chit-chat. Financial problems, ex-husbands, illnesses, and politics are all out,” writes an accelerator trainer on Telegram. The ideal topics are “sport, travel, and photos of food and you in the park.”
Lastly, if really hungry, Russian women can scrape together a few hundred euros (the exact amount is unknown) and enroll on a course with Alex Leslie, one of the most famous sex coaches in Russia. He offers “individual training in Ibiza,” during which he promises to teach “huntresses” how to seduce top managers, famous musicians, photographers, and entrepreneurs (not necessarily foreigners).
“To make a foreign man earn money, you need to be burning with desire yourself and motivate him,” says Irina Emelyanova at her man-seduction training. In her opinion, there is no difference between men from Russia and other countries. She claims that mentality is purely a convention — in the end all men need the same thing.
The trainees, including the curly-haired guy, busily take notes, barely keeping up.
With foreigners, continues Irina, it’s also important to ask for help and generally be “weak.” A woman also shouldn’t nag a man or try too hard with the cleaning, so that he doesn’t take her for granted and learns to do his share of the chores.
The participants themselves admit that they want to marry a foreigner first and foremost to be rid of debts, work, and household duties.
“I hardly have any time for myself. I’m tired. Work consumes all my energy. Plus all [Russian] men are greedy. Americans, however, are honest and sincere, they won’t be unfaithful,” the red-jacketed businesswoman lays out her reasons for taking the course.
The others nod sympathetically. Only Artem, the curly-haired student, is perplexed by it all.
“I don’t know about you, but I want to find one girl, a Russian. At least now I understand you a bit better. And her too,” he says, hinting at his reason for being there.
Russian women are primarily attracted by the supposed prospects and high standard of living in Europe and the US, says psychologist Irina Ryzhkova. Plus, her choice of suitors narrows with age.
“In the Russian marriage market, after 30 there are fewer free men, and more and more free ladies. Consequently, women look abroad,” Ryzhkova argues.
Moreover, many women have accumulated negative experience from past relationships, in which case she risks transferring the same problems to her relationship with a foreigner, multiplied by the difference in mentality, the psychologist explains.
“Foreigners are in no hurry to formalize a relationship, and Russian damsels often have to gamble on older men. But even they are not always ready to assume full financial responsibility for their fairer half, as many Russian women would like,” says Ryzhkova.
This doesn’t mean that foreign men should never consider marrying a Russian woman, she clarifies. The main thing is to make sure that her drive is not financially motivated, but rooted in feelings.
“Marriages of convenience happened centuries ago. The key element today is to have an honest, transparent relationship on terms acceptable to both partners. No relationship built on a lie can survive,” sums up Ryzhkova.
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by Joe Innes on Wednesday, September 12, 2012
14 Comments comments
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A scene worthy of “School” [a popular Russian TV series].
The girl is not stupid, the teacher didn’t explain it to her properly.
Blin , one [in the balls] for the teacher? She’s only a girl, but even so, she’s smashed the teacher’s balls!
Fake! Advertising for a TV channel.
The teacher has no right to do that. He should not even touch her with his finger.
For it to be fair, the teacher needed to have his balls torn. If I were one of the girl’s parents, I would have killed this bearded schmuck.
Nice one, girl! She didn’t give in to the moron-teacher’s insults! And for anyone who talks about ‘the old days’, I note that there were no mobile devices with video recording and so an angry teacher could remain unpunished.
Quite right, you should answer rudeness with nothing but rudeness no matter how old someone is.
Smart people normally don’t get shouted at. He has no right to touch her with his finger? I suppose not. But all of these child protection rights only go one way, as children can do anything they want, and the most the teacher can do is call up the parents, because now you can’t be left alone with a child, you can’t leave [flunk them] in the second year, you can’t kick kids out … there’s a lot that you’re not allowed to do. The result is that children can muck about, and then they ask the teacher, ‘they say you were a dick to the stupid children’.
‘Smart people normally don’t get shouted at’ – nonsense, this sort of teacher shouts at everyone, we’ve all seen it ) And it’s not just children that you’re not allowed to touch, it’s anybody, whoever they may be. If only she were 30. I also teach, although I teach at a music school, and so I know shouting NEVER achieves anything from the youngsters, the child just shuts up and doesn’t make a sound, as we’ve just seen here ourselves. This is not ‘stupidity’, it’s just a mental state.
andreyyermilov: (also responding to Artiic1c)
‘ And how about you suck my balls, Mr. Garrison ‘ – that’s the only way to respond to this kind of fucking about.
If we forget that it’s a fake … think about it, if you were using this tone, would you be wanting to have a constructive conversation?
Guys, get off YouTube, go outside, get some air into your brain.
I can not imagine a situation where behaviour similar to the teacher’s is justified: he conveys no useful information, he simply asserts his authority in a petty way.
What do you think? Did the teacher get what he deserved? Or have children’s rights gone too far?
To all you dumb ass defenders of russia:fuck you. I
wow this girl suicided over something much more smaller than the situation i have! Looks like a good sign i should suicide!
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Many adults in Russia believe they have a right to spank their kids to teach a lesson, and this is exactly how they were raised.
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“Zhenya [Evgeni Plushenko] once grabbed a belt and hit his buttocks a little. So what? My parents used to lock me in a dark room, and applied a belt, and grounded me. Am I not a decent human being?” said (in Russian) Yana Rudkovskaya, wife of the world-famous figure skater, Evgeni Plushenko, in an interview that left the journalist in silent shock.
Russian society was divided in April when Rudkovskaya revealed her methods of child discipline. She admitted that her five-year-old son, a rising skating star , was honest in his description of violent parenting methods during an interview with a journalist.
Most Russians remember being hit at least once in their childhood. For many, such instances remain imprinted in their memory for life.
“My mind can still recreate the scene in detail. I was a little girl and I got lost in the city center. The next thing I remember is my mother: her face covered with tears, a belt in her hand. She was so scared that she had lost me forever that she hit me hard with the belt. I clearly remember my older sister trying to shield me from the blows,” says 30-year-old Elizaveta from Moscow who now raises a five-year-old son.
Spanking, cuffing and belting remain widespread methods of discipline: 37 percent of respondents in a nationwide 2017 poll (in Russian) said they were spanked and cuffed by their parents, and 27 percent of respondents admitted they spanked and cuffed their children.
Belting is so deeply rooted in the culture that many Russians associate the clothing accessory with punishment.
Adults are rarely willing to reveal what happens behind the closed doors of their homes. Yet, some admit they use physical force to punish and educate their children, considering it a necessary evil.
“My husband unconditionally denies corporal punishment as a method only because he is always at work and does not spend much time with the child. Raising the kid is my sole responsibility and I have to attain certain results; of course, I reserve my right to an occasional spank if the child gets out of hand,” said 43-year-old Lyudmila who raises an eight-year-old daughter.
In the minds of many Russians, a ‘Russian way’ of raising children leaves space for rare instances of corporal punishment against disobedient children.
“My husband thinks a boy needs to feel physical force and is not shy to slap him from time to time. I don’t share his views; I can only squeeze the child’s hand strongly to let him know I’m disappointed,” said Elizaveta.
Her husband is not an exception. One-third of Russians support the right of parents to use physical force to punish their children, according to a nationwide poll (in Russian) conducted in 2017.
Life in a society where parents risk losing their rights as a result of what many call an “irregular” and “moderate” spanking comes across as a nightmare for most Russian parents. TV reports help create an image of parental helplessness against zealous and overbearing state childcare systems in countries where the state has greater authority to intervene in the home than in Russia.
Many in Russia are shocked to hear reports about draconian social systems in the West where an occasional slap meant to teach a lesson can be grounds to open an official investigation into parental competence. Russian parents have strong views on what punishment is acceptable and what goes too far.
“Sometimes it is okay to slap a child’s buttocks. I was slapped with slippers and belts and other objects, and nothing happened; I’m alive and well, and educated. I do not beat anyone, but slapping a kid’s butt is not child abuse,” wrote Instagram user Ekaterina in the comment section of a post (in Russian) that dwelled on a parents’ right to spank their children.
Some defend familiar educational methods. “Western countries are now beginning to rethink their approach to education because the current system has helped to foster a generation of adults who do not take responsibility for their actions in full measure,” said 50-year-old Olga who works as a teacher in a Moscow high school. “It is not necessary to beat children, but there must be a middle way.”
Time is challenging the ingrained parenting habits of Russian couples, however. Many of those who remember being spanked and belted in their childhood say they rule out even the slightest possibility of inflicting corporal punishment on their own children.
“I never touch my girl,” said 40-year-old Julia who has a two-year-old daughter. “But I had a completely different approach to raising my older son: I gave birth when I was 18 and he remembers me beating him.”
“The world is changing and we change with it. Things that were acceptable back then are unacceptable today. Now, you can easily find literature that describes alternative parenting methods,” added Julia.
Some parents of this current generation learned this simple lesson the hard way. “My dad punished me severely and often,” said Lyudmila, sadness clearly visible in her eyes. “Do I still have hard feelings? No, it’s in the past; I am no longer a child.”
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