Russian Dick
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Russian Dick
Mad Monk in the streets, legend in the sheets
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The Rasputin penis legend has grown far beyond the jar it is pickled in. After being separated from his body, it was venerated as a fertility talisman, cured impotence, and used in secret rituals. But is this pickled dick really the mystical manhood of Russia’s mad monk?
Grigori Rasputin, the Russian “Mad Monk” who served the Romanov family and indulged in legendary debauchery, was rumored to be pretty stellar in bed. So much so, in fact, that one woman claimed to find it so intense and pleasurable that she fainted .
According to the 1978 song by euro disco group Boney M, obviously a trusted source of historical accuracy, Rasputin was “ Russia’s greatest love machine .”
It is only natural, then, that after he was allegedly poisoned, beaten, shot, and drowned on December 30th, 1916, Rasputin’s infamous instrument of love would linger on.
The question is, does the mystical genitalia of the scandalous holy man simply exist in legend, or is it really still hanging around?
The first phallic object believed to be Rasputin’s penis turned out to be a sea cucumber.
It’s an easy mistake to make – the unfortunately schlong-shaped invertebrates do bear an uncanny resemblance to male genitalia.
But there is another, less sea creature-like contender for the title.
This 12-inch pickled phallus on display at the Museum of Erotica in St. Petersburg, Russia is, according to its owner Dr. Igor Knyazkin, the true mythical member of Rasputin.
This one, like the well-endowed echinoderm before it, is said to have magical properties – such as the ability to cure impotence just by looking at it.
But is it really the fabled Rasputin penis?
According to rumor, Rasputin’s johnson ( cut me some slack, it’s hard finding different words for the male sex organ without sounding like cheap paperback erotica ) developed its own cult following in the years after it was said to have been separated from its owner.
Legend says that in the 1920s, Rasputin’s daughter Maria (then a circus performer who later tamed lions with the Hagenbeck-Wallace Circus ) discovered a group of women in Paris that had been venerating her father’s penis. They believed it could bestow fertility, and they even handed out small pieces of it to those in need.
“And then there is the business of Rasputin’s member, supposedly cut off by [Prince Felix] Yusupov and then gathered up and saved by one of Yusupov’s servants, a secret follower of the starets,” historian Douglas Smith writes in his book Rasputin: Faith, Power, and the Twilight of the Romanovs . “Sometime later, according to this bizarre tale, the severed penis ended up in Paris where a few of his surviving votaries kept it preserved in an icebox, taking it out only for their strange sacred rites. From there, after further adventures, it made its way to the collection of Russia’s first museum of erotica in Petersburg, a hideous hunk of graying flesh suspended in a jar of formaldehyde.”
Dr. Knyazkin says he bought the penis in a wooden casket from two French antique dealers in 2000 for $8,000.
According to these dealers, the organ was cut off and taken to France by a fanatical follower.
Maria eventually discovered it and took possession of it. But when she needed money in the 1970s, Maria supposedly sold it.
As Smith notes, however, according to 1917 accounts by Dmitry Kosorotov, who performed the autopsy on Rasputin after his badly mutilated body was dragged out of the Malaya Nevka River, Rasputin’s genitals were entirely intact and undamaged.
“I am 99 per cent sure it is real,” Knyazkin told the media after he purchased the pickled penis.
Rasputin expert Eduard Radzinsky wasn’t so sure.
“Stories about Rasputin’s penis started almost immediately after his death,” Radzinsky said. “They are all myths and legends.”
If Rasputin really did take his manhood to the grave with him, then whose penis is floating in the jar at the Museum of Erotica?
Well, it hasn’t been tested so no one knows for sure…but some suspect it’s not even human at all. The general consensus, it seems, is that this 12-inch masterpiece of man meat is actually bovine .
Yes, but how big was it. Like in Imperial Units, how many? Bigger than me?
No one going to bother with a DNA test? Even if they don’t have HIS dna, they can rule out the bovine theory.
And the “historical Boney M account” goes on to say:
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute, they just fell into his arms
is the prince of darkness ozzy ozbourne rasputin’s grandson or greatgrandson? just wondering.
Your collection won’t be complete without these weird, unique, and rare Ed Gein collectibles from t-shirts and comic books to souvenir dirt and model kits.
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Why Are Russian Men So Big? - Penis Enlargement Secrets
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Von Neumann, Georg "Why Are Russian Men So Big? - Penis Enlargement Secrets."
Why Are Russian Men So Big? - Penis Enlargement Secrets .
29 Jun. 2009 EzineArticles.com.
1 Sep. 2022 < http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Are-Russian-Men-So-Big?---Penis-Enlargement-Secrets&id=2540693 >.
APA Style Citation:
Von Neumann, G. (2009, June 29). Why Are Russian Men So Big? - Penis Enlargement Secrets .
Retrieved September 1, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Are-Russian-Men-So-Big?---Penis-Enlargement-Secrets&id=2540693
Chicago Style Citation:
Von Neumann, Georg "Why Are Russian Men So Big? - Penis Enlargement Secrets." Why Are Russian Men So Big? - Penis Enlargement Secrets
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Are-Russian-Men-So-Big?---Penis-Enlargement-Secrets&id=2540693
By
Georg Von Neumann |
Submitted On June 29, 2009
Ask any European woman who's been with Russian men. Then ask her which men in Europe have the largest penises. She'll tell you that Russian men are the biggest, without hesitation.
There's a few reasons for this. First of all, the Russians view sexuality different than Western countries. To them it is something that should be opened and enjoyed -- nothing to hide. Russian television has full nudity, even in their commercials. And we're not talking R-rated material. They are very comfortable with sexuality and view it as something natural and to be enjoyed to the fullest. They don't have the hangups introduced by the Victorian age and religion that we have been subjected to in the West.
So, it's just natural that they want their men to be big. The bigger the man, the better he can please his woman. Just as the women all wear high-heels and skirts and make themselves up to be the prettiest they can; they want men to appreciate them and to find them sexy. Their culture embraces sexuality as normal and stimulating. They also realize that the bigger a man is, the Bigger a man he really is. Literally. They understand that the "bigger" a man is, the better success he will have with woman. In Russia size really makes a difference. It's how a woman views whether he is a "boy" or a Real Man.
It starts when the male child is born. The mother yanks on his member. They do this because they know it stretches out the ligaments of the penis and stimulates longer growth, as he matures. This is a natural thing mother's do, because they want their sons to grow up and be real men -- Big Men.
Most people in Russia are very physically active. They don't drive around in cars, they walk. You want to go to the store? You walk to the store. You want to get to work? You walk to work. They don't sit around and watch television all night long eating a bag of potato chips; instead, they walk in the park with their friends. This activity is very beneficial to having a healthy body; and thus a healthy sexual system.
Plus, their diet is filled with unprocessed and unrefined foods. Real food without preservatives and chemicals. Their diets are rich in foods that are high in minerals like zinc and naturally-occurring amino acids. These types of foods stimulate the sexual system and keep it healthy and active.
Of course, you don't have to live in Russia and walk to work everyday to learn the secrets that make their men the biggest. You can read - IRON MAN PENIS - THE RUSSIAN SYSTEM and begin to utilize their sexual secrets for yourself.
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Bella Hadid in 'Ramy'
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Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Bella Hadid in 'Ramy'
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Just in case you’re looking for a weekend conversation starter: There’s a Museum of Russian Erotica, and they claim to have Rasputin’s penis in a jar.
Atlas Obscura traces the story of the death of the mystic and advisor to the tsar—and the possible afterlife of his penis. There were always sexual overtones to his aura and rumors about affairs with various admirers. He was killed in 1916, though the details aren’t entirely clear; various accounts claimed he was poisoned, shot, drowned, and mutilated. Some stories claim that somebody or another held onto his penis, and there’s a long history of people claiming they’ve got it:
By the 1920s, however, a group of Russian émigré women in Paris were said to have gained possession of an item they believed was Rasputin’s penis, and began venerating it.
The relic may have been kept in a wooden casket, and legend has it that bits of it were broken off and given to disciples. Rasputin’s daughter, Maria, reportedly heard about the cult, expressed her disapproval in strong terms, and took possession of whatever it was they were worshipping. Naturally, there is no solid evidence to support any of this.
In 1994, an American turned up claiming he’d found Rasputin’s penis “at a storage locker sale in California, tucked in between manuscripts by Marie Rasputin.” Unfortunately, it was in fact a sea cucumber.
And now the Museum of Russian Erotica claims they’ve got it, and Atlas Obscura contributor Kristin Winet visited and got a picture, which means you can see it with your own two eyes. But I caution you: It’s impossible to unsee what the Museum of Russian Erotica claims is Rasputin’s penis, which looks a lot like a pig’s back leg. Are you sure? Are you ready? If so, click here and scroll down until you see the disembodied dick. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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Contact the author at kelly@jezebel.com .
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The majority of Russian families bring up their sons in brutal manner, so the boys become strong, brave, and always ready to defend themselves and their nearest and dearest. Foreign woman like to apply to Russian men the phrase “behind the brick wall” and this is absolutely true for them. All men try to correspond to the features that the society imposes for them, as like to provide safety for their families (parents, wife and children) and to arrange their living in good financial condition. The men living in Russian federation prefer their wives to keep the house and bring up the children. At the same time, they try hard to earn as much money as possible to make their families happy.
But in spite of these rude tempers, the Russians still remain gentle and romantic. They can easily arrange a fabulous dating to their sweethearts that would print in the mind for years ahead.
Like men of other nations, Russian men have a huge amount of good and bad character features. Though, it would be right if we say that the number of positive features overweight the shortcomings that are true for the Russians. The majority of foreign woman pay particular attention to the rudeness of some men towards women at the wheel and that men are indifferent for their appearance and look. No one requires the Russians to pay the equal attention to their face and body as pop stars, for example, do. But, the majority of men don’t like to go shopping for dressing neatly and attending gym to keep up the excellent shape. Though, this situation may be applied to men all around the world.
It is interesting that the Russians had never drunk vodka in huge amounts. Nowadays the nation stopped drinking this beverage almost at all. Both women and men prefer a good wine or beer to vodka.
Today we would like to invite you staring at the most handsome Russian men with “enigmatic Russian soul”. Enjoy scrolling down this section of our website an feel free to leave hot comments!
15. Aleksey Chadov (September 2, 1981) - Russian actor.
14. Alexander Suvorov (November 8, 1979) - Russian actor.
13. Aleksandr Kerzhakov (November 27, 1982) - Russian football player.
12. Sergey Lazarev (April 1, 1983) - Russian singer.
11. Dmitriy Olenin (Nobember 13, 1979) - Russian radio host, TV presenter, DJ and showman.
10. Vasiliy Stepanov (January 14, 1986) - Russian actor.
9. Dmitriy Borisov (August 15, 1985) - Russian journalist.
8. Timur Solovyov (February 11, 1982) - Russian radio and TV presenter.
7. Pyotr Dranga (March 8, 1984) — Russian accordionist and singer.
6. Dmitriy Nagiev (April 4, 1967) - Russian actor, musician, showman, TV presenter, radio host.
5. Ivan Urgant (April 16, 1978) - Russian actor, TV presenter, musician.
4. Anton Makarsky (November 26, 1975) - Russian actor and singer.
3. Dima Bilan (December 24, 1981) - Russian singer.
2. Danila Kozlovsky (May 3, 1985) — Russian actor.
1. Daniil Strakhov (March 2, 1976) - Russian actor.
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