Rules For Teenage Dating

Rules For Teenage Dating




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Rules For Teenage Dating

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If you have a teen who's old enough to start dating, now is the time to set some guidelines and communicate your expectations.
As your kids grow up and become tweens and teens, you're going to enter a very (potentially) scary time : dating. That's right! Eventually these kids who think you hung the moon are going to want to spend less time with you, and more time canoodling with a potential paramour. And as a parent, that's a tough pill to swallow! Not only because it means our kids are growing up and not our babies anymore. But also because, well, we remember what it was like as a newly-dating teen .
Now, we're looking at it from the perspective of a parent. Parents have a vested interest in making sure our kids, no matter how old they get, are safe and protected and making smart decisions . However, we're talking about teens and dating , so smart decisions aren't always a guarantee! When your teens start dating, it's incredibly important to be clear about your guidelines and expectations, and lay some ground rules right up front.
Not because you want to make it harder for them, but because you want them to be safe and start to develop their own healthy boundaries with it comes to dating and relationships.
How's that saying go? Give them an inch and they'll take a mile? That's just about how it works with teens, especially when it comes to dating. But dating as a tween should be a big privilege, one that they earn after showing they are trustworthy and responsible. And once they start dating, they need to maintain the privilege by abiding by the rules you set .
Prior to letting your teen go out on a date, communicate to them that you will have to meet their date fist. This can be when they come to pick your kid up, or at another prearranged meeting. Your teen must give you their itinerary for the date, such as what restaurant they'll be eating at or what movie theater they'e going to (and you should know the movie time, too). Decide prior to the date who will be driving, and make it clear that the driver doesn't change during the date.
Obviously, there should be a hard rule against any drug or alcohol use on the date, by either party. Ask that your teen checks in with you periodically, and make sure they know they are required to keep their phone and location services on at all times. And of course, you'll need to come up with a curfew. As long as you are clear about your rules and expectations and talk about them before the date, your teen should have no problem following them.
Creating boundaries is an important step in your teen understanding how to have healthy dating and romantic relationships, and will serve to keep them protected in the long run. When it comes to dating, talk to your teen about setting emotional, physical, and digital boundaries.
Emotional boundaries will deal with how and when your teen shares their feelings with their partner, what (if any) private information they feel comfortable divulging, and how they expect to be treated mentally, emotionally, and verbally. It can be very easy for teens to fall victim to peer pressure or feel bullied into doing something they don't want to do or accepting behavior that is unacceptable. By talking to your teen about setting their own emotional boundaries, you can hep empower them to feel confident in maintaining them.
Your teen should also consider their physical boundaries. Physical boundaries can cover things like hugging or hand-holding, and also address sexual contact and activity. Prior to your teen starting to date, it's incredibly important that you talk to them about safe sexual activity and consent.
When you're having the boundaries talk, it would be a good idea to revisit those topics, and talk to your teen about what they are and are not comfortable with. Anyone who does not respect their physical boundaries or pressures them to engage in activity they are not comfortable with is not someone your teen should be spending any kind of time with.
Finally, because it's 2020 and teens live on social media these days, it's important for your teen to set digital boundaries. These cover everything from texting and sexting to what your teen is comfortable sharing on social media, or what parts of this relationship they are comfortable having shared by the other person.
This is a big new world for your teen. And they are bound to make mistakes. Be patient, and supportive as they learn to navigate this phase of their life. You may not always agree with their choice of partner! But your only focus should be on their mental, emotional, and physical well-being. So hold their hand, dry their tears, and give them advice ... WHEN THEY ASK FOR IT. You'll get through this, and so will they.
Jayme is a single mom of two little girls in Southern California. Because being a single, work-from-home mom isn't stressful enough, she also has two dogs (but only one of them is crazy!). Jayme has been writing professionally for just over two years, and while she covers a lot of topics, her wheelhouse is parenting and trending news, both of which provide a wealth of material on a daily basis. She speaks her mind, cusses too much, and always sticks up for what she believes in. Her opinions are always her own, but let's be honest, they're usually always right. You can find more of her work on Mommyish, Care, and Mommy Nearest.


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17 Safe Dating Tips for Teens and Parents

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Sherri Gordon is a published author and a bullying prevention expert. She's also a contributor to SleepCare.com and the former editor of Columbia Parent, with countless years of experience writing and researching health and social issues.
Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach, author, speaker, and owner of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC.

When it comes to teen dating , a lot has changed over the years, especially with the advent of social media and online dating apps. In some ways, dating is a little riskier than it was years ago because of the ease of meeting people online and the ability connect with strangers, but in other ways it's safer because that same technology can also provide a safety net.


If you're like most parents, you probably are a little unnerved by the prospect of your teen dating . But with the right approach and a few guidelines, you can establish an environment where your teen can safely explore the dating world.


Likewise, if you equip your teen with the right tools, they also can take steps to ensure they are dating safely too—a skill that will especially benefit them as they head off to college .


When it comes to keeping your teen safe in the dating world, it's important to establish a few guidelines and boundaries. By doing so, you are creating an environment designed to keep your teen safe, while still allowing them some freedom to date. Here are the most important things to do that can help.


Establishing and enforcing a curfew seems simple enough, but you would be surprised how many parents don't take this step as their teen starts to date. Having a curfew is one of the simplest ways to create boundaries and ensure your teen has a set time when the date will end.


When establishing a curfew , consider your community's guidelines. Many communities already have an established curfew for high school students, so many parents just use those guidelines as their child's curfew.


It's important to establish some ground rules for your teen as they start to date . Think about your expectations and then communicate those to your child. For instance, many parents tell their teen that they are not allowed at a partner's home unless the parents are there.


You also may want your teen to let you know if their plans change and they're going to be somewhere else. In other words, if your teen was planning to attend a party but then they decide to leave and go see a movie instead, they should text you and let you know.


Other possible ground rules include setting age ranges for potential dates or limiting where they can go on dates. Communicate your expectations to your teen, but also allow them some input. Together, you can come up with solutions that work for both of you.


Most teens balk at the idea that they have to introduce their date to their parents. But when it comes to safe dating, this step should not be overlooked. By meeting your teen's date, you can get an idea of who they are spending time with and start to build a relationship with them, too.


This also serves as a safety net in case your teen wants to meet or go on a date with someone they met online. By requiring that you meet who they are dating, you can hopefully head off any dangerous situations.


You may also want to consider inviting your teen's date to hang out in your home. Encourage your teen to invite them over for dinner, to hang out on Friday and watch a movie, or to stop by for pizza after a football game.


These casual interactions allow you the opportunity to get to know who your teen is dating and see how they treat one another.


Sometimes teens get into situations where they are in over their head, or their date turns out to be different than they expected. Perhaps their date takes them to a party where there are drugs and alcohol.


Or maybe your teen's date is getting abusive, has had too much to drink, or is pressuring them for sex. If you're their standing excuse, they can blame you when they have to leave or when you come to get them.

Some parents establish this escape plan for their teens and promise to pick them up without asking questions or pressuring them for details until they're ready to talk. By doing this, teens feel less fearful of getting in trouble and are more likely to reach out for help. They also know they can count on you to be there.

Some parents even establish a code word or code text that alerts them that they need help. If the teen uses this word during a call or texts the word or number, the parent calls with an excuse as to why they need to come get their teen and then they show up.


This built in escape plan makes it easier for your teen to leave without having to deal with peer pressure .


When your teen is heading out for a date, it's important to know where your teen is going, who they a
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