Rubmaps
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Rubmaps
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Listings of Every Erotic Massage Parlor in Your Area Search Any U.S. State for Sexy Parlors Active Forum Full of Tips and Resources Solid Mobile Site You Have to Pay to Read Reviews
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Love Asian massages? Looking for a happy ending massage at Rub Maps? The idea of an erotic massage at the hands of some Asian dimepiece is a thought that keeps me awake at night. Mostly because I’m jerking off. Not because it worries me or some shit. It’s the kind of shit you always see people doing in movies or hearing about happening to a friend of a friend. The idea of a sensual, oiled massage where some slut jerks your dick or blows you seems like a fantasy.
But is it? The hardest part about getting a massage with a happy ending is finding a parlor that does it. These places don’t want to get caught and shut down, so they are usually incredibly hard to find. You can’t just walk into your average massage place and ask for their hottest babe to suck you off. You’re apt to get kicked out and charged with harassment. And it’s not like you can simply look that shit up online. You’ll get results for porn about massage parlors, but not the parlors themselves. But don’t you worry, I’ve got a better way.
Rubmaps.ch aka RubMaps.com is a solely user-driven site that reviews, talks about, and shares pictures of “erotic massage parlors” across the United States. I put erotic massage parlors in quotes because I’m skeptical if every place on here actually has happy endings, or if they add in every massage parlor in your area, but I’ll get into that later.
I’m getting more mixed signals about when this site launched than that college slut who keeps grinding on me even though she’s got a boyfriend. The domain popped up way back in 2010, but their traffic was next to nothing until a February/March of 2019 where it shot up past 2 million visits every month. I don’t fucking know anymore.
Below that there’s a header with options for “Forum, Slang, Blog, Escort Reviews, and Contact.” Everything except the forum and contact pages takes you to some other site. Not a bad site. It looks to be one of the site owners or affiliates personal blog about massage parlor hookups. There you can learn massage parlor slang, read personal reviews, and check out blog posts. The forum is decently active and has a few different topics that cover more general reviews, stories and sharing experiences with others. It’s the place you go to humblebrag about the Chinese dimepiece that lets you cum on her face.
Each listing will show the hourly rate (likely depending on what services you ask for), what ethnicity the masseuses are, what kind of payment they take, when the last review was made, how many user reviews there are, and it will also list all the contact info for the business. From there click on the business to get photos, additional details like jacuzzi availability or semi-truck parking, and read reviews.
There aren’t any ads on the site, so they have to pay their bills somehow. But I’d rather ads at that point. I’m not about to pay to see what horrible, misspelled drivel some horny 40-year-old cuck has to say about his favorite massage parlor.
You can’t even get a rating out of 5 stars without paying. Huge fucking bummer. If you’re not paying for the membership, you might as well just use fucking Google. It’s about as helpful as the free version of the site is. The only saving grace is that you can filter by erotic parlors, so at least you know which ones might jerk you off if it really comes down to it.
And, of course, there are no 1-day trials, because that would undercut their whole sales strategy. You only ever need to look at this shit once, especially if you aren’t in a big city. My area is decently populated and only has 7 erotic parlors to browse from. Half of which don’t have a single damn review.
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