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The Best Movies and Shows to Watch in July

September 11, 2014 published at 7:30 AM
Why does my child rub herself on the floor?
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Are you concerned about cost of living for the next 6 months?
No, I think things will generally remain affordable No, things might get a bit more expensive but its manageable Yes, I will need to make adjustments Yes, I will have difficulties making ends meet even if I make adjustments Not sure ...
Q. I am concerned about the behaviour of my four-year-old daughter.
When she was around three years old, I found her lying down, rubbing her groin area against the floor.
Since then, I have found her doing the same thing on several occasions.
Lately, she would hide or lock herself in the room. I found out that she was rubbing herself on the floor again. Upon my questioning, she told me that she liked that "feeling".
No one had taught or showed her that action and she has not been touched inappropriately at school. She does not have Internet access.
I am worried that when she enters puberty or learns about sexuality, she may connect what she learns to this "feeling" and actively seek a promiscuous lifestyle to satisfy it.
Are preschoolers' bodies and sexual organs developed enough to experience arousal and orgasms?
Is there a specialist I can consult?
A. It is important for your child to be assessed by a paediatrician to explore the possibility of a physical condition or disorder, such as an infection of the genitalia region, epilepsy-related movement or a specific movement disorder.
Once those reasons have been ruled out, an opinion from a child and adolescent psychiatrist or psychologist may be sought.
The movements you described appear to be in line with infantile masturbation.
Masturbation in childhood was recognised as far back as 1909.
It can begin at the age of two months and peak around four years old. The masturbation may go unnoticed as the use of hands and fingers can be absent.
The child may assume a particular posture or lie prone in order to place pressure on the genital area. There can be rhythmic rocking of the body in such positions.
It may also take the form of rubbing the thighs together or lying prone with rhythmic pelvic thrusts.
In some children, vocalisations in the form of grunting may be made. Their faces may be flushed and they may be sweating. There may be a perceived sense of gratification and they may be upset or angry if interrupted.
As part of the assessment, the clinician may wish to explore the possibility of sexual abuse or trauma.
Most children with this behaviour have no prior history of abuse, but masturbation has been observed in some sexually abused children.
Skin irritation or infection in the genital area can result in rubbing of the genitals, and should be treated.
Infantile masturbation is often a normal occurrence in a child.
It should be viewed as a normal behaviour that arises from the child's random exploration of his own body.
It can be viewed as a harmless habit that falls in the same category as thumb-sucking.
Scolding, threatening, or efforts to stop the behaviour forcefully may only reinforce the behaviour and possibly instil a sense of shame or wrongdoing as the child gets older.
Redirection and distraction with other engaging activities may be more useful than punishment.
If the child is old enough to comprehend things, then you can set boundaries of how such behaviour is not appropriate in public areas or at school. This can also be helpful in avoiding unwanted attention.
It may be easier to give the behaviour an innocuous name such as "stretchies" to encourage open communication and avoid making the matter seem taboo.
Lastly, it is important to recognise that such behaviours do subside as the child gets older and that most of the time, the overall development of the child would be normal.
Dr Vicknesan Jeyan Marimuttu Associate consultant, child and adolescent mental wellness service, department of psychological medicine, KK Women's and Children's Hospital
Get a copy of Mind Your Body, The Straits Times or go to straitstimes.com for more stories.

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More stories to check out before you go
Having never been a boy, I had no idea about all the weird shit boys do to get off. Even though I had a big brother, I wasn’t privy to the vast array of strange self-satisfying tools and tricks teenage boys have up their sleeves. That is, until I met my husband and he told me a hilarious story about why he loved climbing the pole at school.
“At first,” he explained, “I just climbed because I liked to see how fast I could get to the top. But one day when I climbed something weird happened. It felt really good. Like, so good I would make sure to climb that pole every morning and every lunch.”
Even as my own sons grew, I didn’t understand just how resourceful boys could be, until I questioned my then-12-year-old about why he had a giant box of condoms in his bedroom.
His hesitation should have been my first clue.
“Well, umm,” he said. “I use them to, uh, you know…”
“To what?” I asked. I had no idea what he was trying to say.
“Oh. Oh, well, OK,” was all I managed to say.
A week later, while out for drinks with my girlfriends, who also had teen boys, I asked if that was normal.
“I don’t know about condoms,” my friend Tammy said, “but I found out my son Charlie was using socks.”
“Socks?” I had never heard of boys sexualizing slippers.
“Yeah, socks. Your boys don’t do that?” Tammy asked. “Well, Charlie does. I swear I won’t even touch his laundry anymore. All it took was one time grabbing a sock that was hard as a rock and I was done. It was nasty!”
Learning about socks, and laughing my ass off watching the Bridesmaids scene where a mom describes cracking her son’s comforter, made me curious about what other means boys employ to get their (pun intended) socks off.
Naturally, I first turned to my husband and sons to learn more. I was in for a surprise with their answers.
Like machine gun fire, my eldest son listed his favorite masturbation props.
“Let’s see, there’s good old wadded-up toilet paper, towels, even shirts. Heck, I’ll use dirty laundry if it’s there. Whatever is within reach, really,” he shared. As he spoke, my younger son nodded his head emphatically.
“Anything else?” I asked. I was all business. Hey, who was I to judge? As a teen, I’d had an amorous moment or two with my favorite bottle of perfume, Love’s Baby Soft, which, if anyone remembers, was totally shaped like a dildo.
“OK, don’t laugh, but one time I put my penis in the vacuum hose,” my youngest said.
“While it was on?” I asked. I’d lost my deadpan expression the moment I picture my son losing his penis in a vacuuming accident.
“Yeah, but it was on low, don’t worry,” he reassured me. “It didn’t feel that good, so I only did it once.”
“Oh, what about paper towel rolls?” my oldest added. “And that time I used the cantaloupe?”
Even my husband was shocked at the cantaloupe revelation. Fruit. Really? I thought that was only a thing women in prison did.
“And the trash can,” my youngest said. Was nothing sacred?
By the end of our conversation, I had the idea that my sons, and probably all teenage boys, used anything and everything at their disposal to masturbate.
With my curiosity quelled, I had to wonder if my quest for knowledge was a worthy endeavor. Honestly, I’ll probably never look at a cantaloupe the same way again, but I am grateful I had this awkward, yet illuminating, discussion with my kids.
They felt confident enough to be real, knowing full well I would write this information and share it with the world. It may seem like too much for some parents,
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