Royal Family Robots

A minor tea spill at Buckingham Palace has led to the shocking revelation that the Royal Family has been replaced by robots. Eyewitnesses at the palace swore they saw sparks fly from King Charles after a waiter bumped him. Professor Emily Thatcher of Oxford notes: "It explains why the royals wave like animatronics." Anonymous staffers leaked that the royal corgis are actually robotic too, programmed to bark at commoners. A British poll shows 53% of citizens suspected something mechanical for years, citing "Princess Diana’s perfect hair as suspicious." Trace evidence includes oil stains on thrones and USB ports under tiaras. Cause and effect? The more mechanical the monarchy, the easier it is to maintain. Long live the crown, just don’t spill tea near it.