Rough Sez

Rough Sez
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Sex can suit any mood or moment from intimate and romantic to hot and dirty. Another point on that scale is just plain rough sex . And that doesn’t have to mean incorporating any strange fantasies, difficult positions, or floggers. All you have to do is tweak the positions you already know and love to amp up the roughness factor for an unforgettable romp. Trust.
Need some ideas? Check out these sexy suggestions from Emily Morse, Ph.D., founder and host of the Sex with Emily podcast, and then try them with your partner tonight.
You'll be breaking barriers, one spank and hair pull at a time.
Even though you’re upside down here, you both have control of the motion and depth of penetration. Yours might be more of a workout, but any extra work and sweat in a sex sesh just makes it hotter (and rougher). If you want him to take control, he can use his hands for some spanking or anal play .
How to do it: Place your hands on the floor and have him pull your waist so your legs are on either side of his hips.
This one is super-intimate, as he can wrap his arms around you to hold you tight, but he’s also hands-free to explore your body—he can squeeze your nipples or grab onto your hair.
How to do it: Have him sit on the edge of a bed or a chair and lower yourself onto his shaft facing away from him.
You probably recognize this one as doggy style, known for being a hot position for both of you. And with some tweaks, you can up the rough factor by hair pulling, spanking, and positioning yourselves in front of a mirror so you can both watch.
How to do it: Get on all fours and have him kneel behind you. He enters from behind while holding your hips or boobs .
We asked men and women what they think of dirty talk. Here's what they had to say:
With you on top, you’re rocking the movement, depth, and speed, and he’ll love seeing your body in action. To kick it up a notch, you can also tie his hands together or pin down his arms down with your knees to really take control. Another option: Have him wear a penis ring for maximum mutual stimulation. (Try this vibrating ring from the Women's Health Boutique.)
How to do it: Straddle him with your knees bent. Push off of his chest to slide up and down.
Giddy up, reverse cowgirl. This one combines the hotness of doggy with the sexy dominance of you on top. He’s hands-free here to explore and to get a little rough. This one is also ideal for anal play , since he’s got easy access and you’re on top to guide him down there.
How to do it: He lies on his back while you straddle him, facing away from him.

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Hair pulling and spanking are just the start
The Art of Scratching. Blows and Sighs. Biting. These may sound like chapter titles in a BDSM manual. But they’re actually from the world’s oldest and most revered guide to sex—the Kama Sutra , an ancient Indian Hindu text written around 400 B.C.
Yeah, apparently people have been having rough sex since the dawn of time. And experts say there are legit physiological and psychological explanations for our love of whips and spanking.
One such reason is known as the “excitation transfer theory,” says sex researcher Nicole Prause, Ph.D.
If you’re bitten, scratched, or spanked, your blood pressure goes up and your heart races in response to that pain, Prause says. If that happens during sex, “you interpret it as sexual excitement.”
Another explanation has to do with the brain’s “pain matrix.” Prause says there are areas in the human brain that respond to pain, and these areas overlap with areas that respond to sexual arousal.
This overlap “might play a little trick on your brain,” causing it to confuse pain and pleasure when you’re experiencing them at the same time, she says.
Spontaneity and surprise are fun in romance—but not in rough sex. You need to discuss things in advance to ensure you and your partner feel safe.
Foreplay —when you’re both relaxed and aroused—is a good time to talk about what rough stuff you might enjoy, says Psalm Isadora, a sex coach based in Los Angeles.
“Be open-minded,” urges Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., an associate professor at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good .
Understand that your partner’s desires don’t necessarily mean anything about her background or past experiences, Herbenick says. “(Rough is) just one of many ways to have sex.”
“I always recommend the ‘yellow, green, and red’ method,” says Moushumi Ghose, a licensed marriage therapist and author of Classic Sex Positions Reinvented . “You need a word for ‘no’ or ‘stop,’ of course, but it’s also good to have a word for when you like what’s happening but you just want (your partner) to take it down a notch.”
If you and your partner are both interested in trying rougher sex after discussing it, here are some places to start.
(And for more sex tips that will drive her wild—including a step-by-step guide on how to give her an orgasm—check out How to Pleasure a Woman , the ultimate sex manual from the editors of Men’s Health .)
“Spank with an open palm on the fleshier, lower part of her ass closest to her vagina,” Isadora says. “When you hit her in this spot, it sends vibrations through her clitoris and her whole body that lights a sexual fire.”
The ancient Tantra texts say that spanking awakens her kundalini, which is her sexual chi or energy. Start with a medium spank and work up to a harder spank if she’s into it.
Don’t be afraid to ask her to spank you, too. You might be surprised how much you like it.
Some women like having their hair pulled during sex. It’s a move that works well when she’s in reverse cowgirl or on all fours.
“It creates a surge of adrenaline and endorphins,” Isadora explains.
Just be sure to grab her hair near the scalp—as if you’re doing a scalp massage—or at the nape of her neck.
Don’t grab her hair by the ends. That’s often too painful to be pleasurable, and you’re more likely to rip her hair out.
“(Biting) definitely brings out more of our primal, animalistic side,” Ghose says. “Start with the lower lip and move down from there, biting each new body part gently at first and working up to a stronger bite (with her permission!).”
Being picked up, thrown over a man’s shoulder, and tossed on a bed can bring out the primal side in a woman.
“For women with powerful jobs, a type-A personality, or even moms who are always in control of everything, it’s nice for her not to be in charge,” Ghose says. “Sex is about losing inhibitions and surrendering, and sometimes it's easiest to surrender when somebody is totally pushing you around.”
Again, talk through this first. But if you have the green light, try pinning her down while talking raunchy to her, Ghose suggests.

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ROUGH SEX: WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT DURING INTIMACY
Besides what women really want during intimacy , women are actually complicated in nature concerning their needs. It’s not an easy task trying to understand what women truly likes.
Truth is, the male and female species are totally different, but while we are naturally choosy, picky, and sometimes very selective, most women at one point or the other when in a relationship with a man or in any situation in life do not actually know what they really want in their lives- Yes, we get confused too concerning our needs!
It is one department the male sex still find it difficult to conquer as they also get confused sometimes and flare up when women needs change so rapidly like the weather conditions.
It has been perceived that women are like flowers which comes out very bright and shinning in the morning hours but get squeezed and roughened in the evening. While they want it cold now, the next minute they are clamoring for it to be hot.
When it comes to the issue of sex, traditionally it is believed that the male folks like to initiate, control and dominate the entire process with the women being at the receiving end of either a good or terrible sex.
In our today’s world, the idea of initiating sex by the male folks is an old tradition that have been long discarded and put in the trash can forever, this is because modern women have taken the bull by its horn and they now go for what they want, when they want it and how they want it done- mild, soft or rough.
Furthermore, the truth be told that today’s women are into sex a lot more than the male folks could even imagine or realize. And they don’t just want polite sex or demure sex but rough in whatever way they feel it is satisfying because her sexual appetite is just as intriguing as she is.
Simple women with simple lives are a lot rarer than they used to be, so men would be wise to take this as a heads-up. Chances are you’re with a woman who has at least a fleeting interest, if not a full-blown desire to partake in a little rough sex.
Thus, some men actually get surprised when sometimes caught off balance when their women tell them they want rough, messy or wild. The honest truth is that, while the men think of the women to be calm, wear floral print dresses, take care of the kids and home or do the cooking, they fail to realize that these women also have their dark, wild and raunchy side when it comes to sex just as men are.
Point is, even though they don’t just look it, a very high percentage of women also like it very rough in bed.
9 ROUGH THINGS WOMEN SECRETLY WANT IN BED
So therefore, a man who is trying to understand sex from the perspective of a woman must come to terms and know the following points in making her feel satisfied just as she wants it delivered to her.
1- Grab her Hair, Pull backwards and Spank her
For some women, the hair is their erogenous zone, therefore pulling them backwards is very erotic for them but make sure it’s not the side hair.
This is a total deviation of the traditional missionary style most women are used to where intimacy is soft and one way traffic. It may be funny to you but women actually like their hair pulled backwards and also they like to be thrown around.
When you pull your woman’s hair, especially the area at the back near the neck it sends shivers down their spine, hence when having sex, it adds to the sensation and pleasure.
Get their faces smashed into the bed. Some more than others, but they all like it. It’s like you have to re-learn to have sex.
While doing it not to cause pain, a pull in the right spot can turn some women from being tired or grumpy into a raging sex kitten.
2- Consume Her Mouth With a Hard, Passionate and Messy Kissing.
This is not the time for that French soft kiss but for the type that makes you breathless and panting for oxygen. Having her whole mouth in yours is a total weakness and huge turn on for her.
As we all may know, the art of kissing is a very important department during intercourse between lovers and partners. And during rough sex, you both can’t escape it because it’s an important side attraction and ingredient to propel, keep the mood and tempo in the right temperature.
In so doing, make it messy and extremely passionate and hard with a feeling of how you have been wanting it from her. Feel each other’s tongue and bite her lips a little longer but a bit harder.
Remember to run the entire neck, ears and whole body hungrily and like a child needing attention. Above all, make it a memorable act for her to remember later.
If you want your girl to get going in excitement and ecstasy, then you must practice and know the art of being very vocal and talk all those dirty phrases that only end up in the bedroom.
It doesn’t matter if your girl isn’t a dirty talker, but telling her how hot or beautiful she looks gets her craving for more of you. Dirty talking has been proved to be very effective during rough sex because it increases the tensions between you two.
Even if they are words that ordinarily you wouldn’t utter but common this is rough sex and she is in the right mood for it, so it’s permissible.
An example of talking dirty include the following:
Thrusting very hard, fast and combining it with the points mentioned above puts her a crazy mood to want you for herself.
Good sex is all about timing mixed the different angle variations. Sometimes with a lot of hip grinding and angle variation, sometimes just lock in on a good spot and work it very well.
Let her feel your erection against her back while you also touch your girl’s front (fondling breasts, masturbating me, stroking skin). It’s always arousing making her know you want to touch her wherever you want in the heat of passion, but she can’t touch you in reply.
Most ladies have seemed to like it hard and intense especially after being warmed up and for some it causes more clitoral stimulation.
NOTE***** Hard or fast thrusting is something you do only during rough sex or quickies and not all the time when getting intimate with your partner.
5- Lock/Gaze Directly Into Each Other’s Eyes
Locking your gaze with your partner creates some form of romantic affection and bond between the two of you. For some people it shows how connected they are with their partner and they love to know that their partner feel same way with them.
Lots of eye contact during sex is way sexier and so hot. It makes everything feel so much more passionate, and that is a massive turn-on.
6- Don’t be afraid to get a little kinky
Monotonous acts get people bored all the time, so also during sex. Therefore adding some sparks to spice it up would just be right for you and your partner. Possibilities are that, adventurous and happy couples are those who introduce new things regularly into their lives including in the bedroom.
You can do this by having a total overhaul of your sex lives and doing those things that could really get you excited. Kinky ideas may include:
In the words of lady, “I like freaky, rough sex , but all but one of the guys I’ve ever slept with have stuck to plain, vanilla sex. I want a man to spank my ass, lick my inner thigh, tie my hands together, and whisper something dirty in my ear while we have sex.”
This Article should help you with Kinky ideas.
7- Be Creative and Very Adventurous With More Hot Sex Positions.
Having a variety of movement or motion like having your hands or tongue running all over her body is great. Being adventurous and creative in bed with your partner is a lot of turn on. As I wrote earlier, throw away the traditional missionary style that have been passed from generations to generations and get involved in new ones.
Get spontaneous too, be weird, bring out your creativity and be very adventurous in trying new styles whether known or never seen before. She will thank you later.
8- Dominate Her Entirely and don’t ask what she wants or how she wants- it’s boring.
This is one of the biggest turn on for women because women have a genetic need to be dominated by men especially during intercourse. Most girls are too shy to admit that they prefer that based on indoctrination, but most girls like it rough and love to be dominated.
The fantasies of submission are ultimately fantasies of being really sexually desirable.
Never you ask how she wants it done or what she wants in bed. It may sound very unattractive to your woman because most women want to know how capable you are in the bed and ready to be submissive.
Women’s fantasies of submission are fantasies of extreme arousal in sexual partners. This is why desire for dominance wouldn’t transfer into daily life– because it’s a sexual desire.
It will be boring to her asking her what she wants or how she wants it done. Take what you want from her and dominate her from start to finish.
See it as an act of dominance and you would be shocked and surprised seeing her giving herself to you. You know what? She loves it when you dominate her in bed.
You just need to take baby steps and constantly read her body language to make sure she’s comfortable, both physically and emotionally.
If you’re going to play around with domination, it’s never a good idea to start off with anything that might hurt her feelings or humiliate her, i.e., barking orders at her (“Go down on me NOW!”) or name-calling (“ Slut !”). Playing around with restraints — loose restraints, of course — is definitely a better way to go.
Most sexual encounters, from the time of penetration to orgasm, last from one to 10 minutes. While it shouldn’t be too short, making it very long will make it boring and tiring which will lead to inflicting injuries in the woman’s lady part. I will say something like not less than 7 minutes and not more than 15 minutes should just be perfect of it.
Also Sex Therapists believe that 7 to 13 Minutes is the Sweet Spot. Penn State researchers surveyed 50 American and Canadian sex therapists in 2010 about what timing the experts thought was best.
The therapists said that three to seven minutes was “adequate” and seven to 13 was “desirable.” They said one to two minutes was likely too short for most people, but that 10 to 30 minutes was probably too long.
****Rough sex isn’t for everyone, especially the ones who have had bad experiences with it. For the ones who enjoy it though, an occasional round of rough sex can increase the passion in a long term rela
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