Rough Life
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Rough Life
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Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author. Read full profile
We’ve all gone through hard times. And we all get through them. However, some get through them better than others. So what is their secret? Most of it has to do with attitude. Here are 13 things to remember when life gets rough:
Buddha’s famous saying tells us: “ It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering .” Think about that for a minute. It means that our suffering only occurs when we resist how things are. If you can change something, then take action! Change it! But if you can’t change it, then you have two choices: (1) either accept it and let go of the negativity, or (2) make yourself miserable by obsessing over it.
Many times, we are our own worst enemy. Happiness is really dependent on perspective. If you think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it’s something you can learn from, then suddenly, it’s not a problem anymore.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Don’t you know people whose lives are chaotic and stressful? And isn’t that largely because they feel chaotic inside? Yes, it is. We like to think that changing our circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards—we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will change.
You should just wipe the word “failure” right out of your vocabulary. All great people who have ever achieved anything have “failed” over and over. In fact, I think it was Thomas Edison who said something like, “I did not fail at inventing the light bulb, I just first found 99 ways that it didn’t work.” Take your so-called “failures” and learn something from them. Learn how to do it better next time.
That’s hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it’s true. Usually, when you look back at your life, you will be able to see why it was actually a good thing that something didn’t work out. Maybe the job you didn’t get would have made you spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to.
This moment will never come again. And there is always something precious about every moment. So don’t let it pass you by! Soon it will just be a memory. Even moments that don’t seem happy can be looked upon as something that you might miss someday. As the country song by Trace Adkins says, “You’re gonna miss this…you’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast….you may not know this now, but you’re gonna miss this…”
Most people live with “attached mind.” What this means is that they attach themselves to a desire, and when they don’t get it, their emotions plummet into negativity. Instead, try to practice “detached mind.” That means that when you want something, you will still be happy whether you get it or not. Your emotions remain happy or neutral.
Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fears can also make you feel victorious. For example, when I was in college, I feared public speaking (one of the top 3 fears of all humans). So I find it humorous now that not only do I speak in front of a group every day by being a college professor, I also teach public speaking! Overcoming fears just takes practice. Fear is really just an illusion. It’s optional.
Believe it or not, I know way too many people who don’t allow themselves to have fun. And they don’t even know how to be happy. Some people are actually addicted to their problems and the chaos in them so much that they wouldn’t even know who they are without them. So try to allow yourself to be happy! Even if it’s just for a small moment, it’s important to focus on joy, not your hardships.
But if you do compare yourself, compare yourself with people who have it worse than you. Unemployed? Be grateful that you live in a country that gives unemployment compensation, because most people in the world live on less that $750 a year . So you don’t look like Angelina Jolie? Well, I bet there are more people who don’t than do. And you are probably way better looking than most people. Focus on that .
You need to get out of your own way. You are only a “victim” of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one “does” something to you. You are the creator of your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can get out of your hard times. You just need to start with changing your thoughts and actions. Abandon your victim mentality and become victorious. From victim to VICTOR!
“And this too shall pass” is one of my favorite sayings. When we are stuck in a bad situation, we think that there is no way out. We think nothing will ever change. But guess what? It will! Nothing is permanent except death. So get out of the habit of thinking that things will always be this way. They won’t. But you do need to take some sort of action for things to change. It won’t magically happen all on its own.
Miracles happen every day. Really—they do. I wish I had enough space to write about all the miraculous things that have happened to people I know—from healing stage 4 cancer naturally to having their soul mate appear out of nowhere. Trust me: it happens all the time. You just need to believe it does. Once you do, you have won the battle.
Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.
Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.
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[Chorus] I live a rough life, I live a rough life, I did I live a rough life, I live a rough life, I did I live a rough life, I live a rough life, I did I live a rough life, I live a rough life, I did [Verse 2] Damn, I remember ain't had no pot to piss in I remember ain't had no door to kick in (this shit fucked up) I remember had no drugs to slang So I had to go and get that gun and let that hammer bang I'm talkin bout strip this and strip that Bitch put me on a move, yeah she tip that It's a tipoff, now the lick off Like a kickoff, I'ma take off All I know is go and get that cash (I want that cash nigga) Whip it out and I won't go out bad I want that cash so I ain't goin' out sad I like that fast money, get the cash [Pre-Chorus] I pop xans when I can't sleep, them nights I couldn't eat I used to pop that molly with that choppa ridin' through these streets Catch me with a freak, double cup, smokin' on OG Juggin' all these pounds, thirty-one, brick thirty-three Got it out these streets, it wasn't free, got these bricks for cheap Used to live a rough life, a rough life I did
[Chorus] I live a rough life, I live a rough life, I did I live a rough life, I live a rough life, I did I live a rough life, I live a rough life, I did I live a rough life, I live a rough life, I did
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Paying it Forward with Ruff Life Charities
A lifestyle brand for dogs and owners!
A lifestyle brand for dogs and owners!
Ruff life was born from an experience I had with my 6 month old rescue dog named Jack. You could see something serious going wrong with him and as we found out he needed a triple pelvic osteotomy (which basically means a triple hip replacement) on both hips. This surgery is very rare with such a young puppy, but without it he would be in too much pain and putting him down would be the only other option. Because I just didn’t have $5,500 for this surgery, I was faced with putting down my puppy.
Someone I had just met down at the beach in SC a few months earlier, heard my story and told me she would find a way to help Jack and that is EXACTLY what she did. Because of Beth Castelli and the incredible generosity of friends and family, it changed the direction of my life.
We started on the beaches of Hilton Head, SC after Jack returned home from his surgery. Creating Ruff Life with a cute logo, doing craft fairs with t-shirts, baseball hats and sweatshirts under our brand name became a beach favorite for tourists and dog lovers visting Hilton Head Island. An apparel line for dog lovers with the heart of giving back to local shelters was the theme, until I started our non-profit charity in 2013.
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Moving to FL in 2012 was only supposed to be temporary, but it's 2021 and we are still here!
Continuing with Craft Shows, Farmer's Markets all over the Gulf Coast allowed me to expand into other apparel lines, creating and manufacturing dogs collars and leashes, LED Safety Lights, customizing dog bowls, and expanding into baked dog treats and jerky.
In 2018 we opened our first and only retail location in Downtown Bradenton. It was something I really wanted to do after being on the road for over 5 years. Luckily, I closed the store before this Covid "plandemic" started and started moving my business to online platforms. I consider myself one of the lucky ones, I returned to work part time during 2021 and continued with online sales. We had the best year on Etsy in 2020 and we are on track to do better in 2021!
Ruff Life was created with the intent that “Paying it Forward” for the kindness and generousity I received for saving Jack. I created Ruff Life Charities, a 501C3 non-profit charity in 2013.
My life charge right before the approval was granted, almost 2 years later, when I had to move to FL for family reason. Starting Ruff Life over in 2013 in FL took a few years and the ability to purchase land here in FL was too difficult to do. I put Ruff Life Charities on the back burner and donated money to other shelters and personal dog owners who need help or medical/emergeny care and did as much as I could do.
Ruff Life Charities will be moving forward in 2022 and the vision is clear. I will only start requesting monetary donations when I am ready to move forward. I will only move forward with honor, integrity and clarity for my non-profit. Please stay tuned!!
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