Rough Blow Job

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Rough Blow Job
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Putting a penis in one's mouth is not as simple an endeavor as one might assume it is. Learning how to give a blowjob is a complicated process that can be a source of anxiety, fear, and unexpectedly deep soul searching. While the person being fellated might not be aware, the person on the other end is being bombarded with a lot of blowjob-related mind garbage. But no one ever talks about these little nagging things that have to do with giving head. It's difficult enough to bring up blowjobs around the water cooler or at a dinner party, so getting into the dirty little details can be tough. Obviously, not so for me, since I'm broaching them right now.
Generally, conversations about blowjobs center around who can deep throat, how easy/difficult it is to get a penis in your mouth hole, and whether or not you should kiss after completion. But there are far more mundane factors at play, and all of them far more important than these racier questions. I don't know why we don't talk more about the minutiae of giving head. What I do know is that there are certain things I can guarantee most women are thinking when we go down on someone. Such universal thoughts deserve to be shared and commiserated over. Here are six things about blowjobs that no one ever talks about, but which I'm forcing you to listen to me talk about right now:
Blowjobs are scary - not because of what happens to you when you're giving them, but what you might inadvertently do to the person you're giving them to. For instance: suddenly, reflexively biting down for some reason. There are a lot of things I'd like to go through life never having experienced. Orally castrating someone is certainly one of them.
I envy anyone who can give a blowjob and retain sexy thoughts in their brain. For most of us, we're just trying not to choke on the chunk of our own hair that keeps slipping into our mouths. We're also thinking about the sweat smell of balls, making eye contact, the giant drip of our own spit smeared across our face, not biting down, etc.
Again, I have much envy for the sucker who has no gag reflex. Because for everyone else, when a penis hits the back of your throat, its all we can do to stop from vomiting. Add "vomiting on someone's penis" to the list of things I would like to go through life without ever doing. It doesn't exactly scream "sexy" - unless you're one of those fetishists I once saw on Jerry Springer (I'm aware that a Jerry Springer reference reveals my age, and I don't even care).
Look, I don't want to brag but, like, I work out. Even still, there's no workout quite like kneeling with no hands for support (one's on the shaft, the other's on the balls) while angling your face downward and bobbing your head up and down. There's no amount of yoga that will prepare your core for the exercise of giving head. It's a full-body experience that requires poise, concentration, balance, and abs and thighs of steel.
No matter how many blowjobs you've given, nothing can prepare you for giving your first one to a new person. Every penis is unique, and no two blowjobs are the same. The same can be said for all sex acts, but there's something particularly intimate about having someone's penis in your mouth. The whole experience can be quite discombobulating, what with all the balls you have to juggle (pun intended) with a new person.
It doesn't matter whether you're an established spitter or swallower, or how many times you've had a man cum in your mouth. There's always an intense anxiety when you feel him come close to orgasm. What is going to happen? Even though you know, you're still scared. For instance, every time it comes to that point, I start worrying that so much semen is going to squirt out so hard and fast that I will choke on it. This has literally never happened to me. But as soon as a guy starts clenching, I fill with fear. Even the most seasoned fellator has anxiety when it comes to finishing the job. Snap decisions have to be made, fast and in the heat of the moment, which can lead to embarrassing situations, like naked runs to the bathroom to spit up.
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Love, Sex and Family
5 Blow Job Positions That Will Make Going Down On Him More Enjoyable For You By Alex Conrad | October 4, 2017

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2011-2022 Betches MEDIA LLC

I’ll be the first to admit that the thought of giving a blow job used to feel like a fucking chore. It’s that item at the bottom of your to-do list that you can get away with not doing, but probably should be done soon. Like, it never actually leaves, but somehow always gets checked off first—sort of like my last Tinder hookup. But since I’m supposed to be giving you better ways to enjoy sucking dick , while somehow convincing my mom that I’m still at least half a virgin, I’m here to tell you to sack up (pun intended), because dedicating your precious time to giving one blowie isn’t all that fucking bad. Maybe it’s just the type of savage friends I choose to surround myself with, but when I asked how often they give head, this was literally their response:
On one hand, *insert slow golf clap here*. But if you’re reading this and are one of those girls who thinks this doesn’t apply to you because you have a vagine of gold and you treat your guy to half-assed hand jobs on the reg, you’re the reason he cheats, but I guess also the reason I’m employed. That was harsh, but whatever. Giving a hand job is like giving someone a yellow Starburst. It’s always the last choice, but they’re not gonna not take it. So I’m here to save you the shitty comparison with easy positions that’ll make giving head suck a little less (srsly, killing these puns), because nobody wants to be compared to a yellow Starburst. Not even a fucking yellow Starburst.
It’s Sunday morning so, just guessing, you’re prob hungover and the last thing you care to think about is plowing your face into his junk before you can even press start on the Keurig. I get it. But while you’re lying there checking the likes on last night’s Instagram, his morning wood is begging to be sanded down, so because I’m the nice slut woman that I am, I’ll let you in on a secret: Surprising a guy with an earlybird BJ is a proven fact that you’ll get your way the entire rest of the week, but mostly a surefire way he won’t be personally victimized by your morning breath. All you need to do is prop a pillow on his stomach and lay sideways while resting your head on it. His dick will literally be staring you in the face, so you barely even have to move. This position is great for when you’re not entirely awake to give full-service head, but awake enough to not pass back out with a mouth full of peen.
No need to lie anymore—this is a safe place, so let it out, honey. Put it in the book: 69 fucking blows (now I’m just being annoying with the puns). It’s impossible to even concentrate when you’re trying to dodge any and all contact with raw asshole, and holding yourself up constitutes like, a 4-hour barre workout. The sideways 69 is a little less work and a lot less regret. Really all you need to do is lay on your sides in the opposite direction and go to town. He can even get crafty on your end and use a vibrator while you’re generously sampling the sausage. You know, like a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” kinda thing.
If you’re that “can’t keep it in your fucking pants” couple, this one’s for you. Your guy literally just needs to be sitting down while you’re sitting next to him. The next and final step is unzipping his pants and bending over—yeah, groundbreaking. Do it in a theater (for the love of the children, I hope you’re not doing this in a theater, you sick fuck), do it while he’s driving, the world is your bedroom. This position isn’t exactly the most innovative, but trust me—doing it in a taboo location will amp up the excitement and take the edge off whatever is so goddamn torturous about giving head. Just please don’t get arrested.
Life is just too damn short to agree to favors that don’t also benefit you in the process. That’s just my take on selfless acts of kindness, but to each their own. This position is probably the most advanced, but I included it because of its benefits. Like, think about it: Would you ever even consider taking a job in the real world without 401k benefits? Case closed. Start out by laying on your bed with your head slightly dangling off. Even though your mouth is fully occupied, it’s important to remember that you’re still in control of this ship (fucking duh). Use your hands to grab onto his thighs and guide him as you damn well please. From there, he has easy access to reach around and keep your vacant vagine some hard-earned company. It’s all really just the law of physics at this point, but if you failed that class, just keep going until he finishes or all the blood rushes to your head—basically whichever comes first.
So I realize now that this position is probably the reason for so many peoples’ utter disgust in giving out blowies, but it’s called a blow “job”, not a blow “piece of cake”. So here’s the thing: one of the only times a betch lets a guy exert his dominance is in the bedroom. All you have to do is abide by the rules of gravity. Lay flat on the bed, let him straddle your face, and well… Honestly, I know you’re not an idiot, so judging by the name of this position alone, need I go on?
Alex Conrad is an Orange County-based writer who prides herself in the art of pregaming and lives by the mantra, "If you can't tone it, tan it." When she's not scheming up how to get away with doing the bare minimum, she's probably attempting to justify her latest Target purchase to her husband. Follow her on Instagram @ayyycon_ for french bulldog spam but mostly just for validation.
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Blowjobs don’t get the greatest depictions in the media, especially in porn. There’s lots of mouth-fucking, forced gagging, and getting ejaculated on, but in real life, blowjobs can be an incredibly fun experience for the giver. Here’s how to give a great blowjob and enjoy it at the same time.
On average, men take three to five minutes to orgasm, so you don’t usually need to worry about finding a position that will be comfortable for the long haul. Still, you want to find a position that feels good for you. It’s generally easiest to be on your knees (put a blanket or pillow underneath if you’re on a hard surface), in between their legs. He can be sitting on the edge of the bed or sofa (he can lie back if he wants), or standing. Being able to watch is an extremely hot part of the process, so it’s nice to give them a good view. You can even position yourselves in front of a mirror if you really want to play up the voyeuristic aspect, so both of you can watch.
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You can warm up a bit by rubbing their dick over their underwear with your hand, but try to get to work relatively quickly. Most men I’ve spoken with don’t like an excessive amount of teasing, and it can even feels a little uncomfortable or ticklish. If you’re going to tease, try slipping a tongue or finger beneath the waistband of their underwear before pulling them off, or holding their dick in your hand while you ask them what they want you to do with it.
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If he’s not fully hard right after you take off their clothes, take advantage of the situation by taking their entire penis into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it while he grows bigger. It might be the only time you’re able to get the full thing in your mouth, so have fun. If he’s already erect, start at the base of their penis and make a few long, slow licks from the base to the tip. Keep your tongue broad and flat.
Once you’re ready to get down to business, you’ll want to get their dick nice and wet and establish a good baseline technique. Slide your mouth up and down their penis a few times, keeping your tongue pressed against the underside of their dick. You want to try to maintain a tight seal with your mouth, without allowing any contact with your teeth. Try to gather up as much saliva as you can, and slowly let it fall out of your mouth as you traverse their dick. Don’t worry about getting too sloppy at this point; the wetter the better.
Once you’ve gotten them lubed up, use your hand and mouth in tandem. Most people’s mouths aren’t big enough to accommodate an average-sized penis, so your hand is essential for coverage. Use it to stimulate the majority of the shaft, and your mouth to stimulate the head. The shaft tends to be the least-sensitive part of the penis, so you can use more pressure than you might think. The head of the penis is much more fine-tuned to stimulation, so your warm, wet mouth will be gladly welcomed. Firmly wrap your dominant hand around the base of their penis, like you’re giving it a good handshake. Bring your lips down to meet your hand. Pretend that your mouth and your fist are glued together, and move up and down their penis for a minute or two. This will be your standard move that you can return to at any point.
The testicles are often criminally neglected during oral. As soon as you feel comfortable with your basic technique, start paying some attention to the balls. You can do this with either your hand or your mouth.
First, take their entire scrotum into your non-dominant hand. Testicles are sensitive, so you’ll need to find a good balance between grasping firmly enough (too light will feel ticklish), and not being too rough. Roll the balls around in your hand while you continue sucking dick. Give the whole sack a few soft tugs. Then try focusing on their balls with your mouth. Keep your hand going on their penis as you lick all around their testicles with a broad, flat tongue. Try taking each ball in your mouth for a minute. You can also try licking in between the balls, going all the way from the back of their scrotum to the front.
Once you’ve settled into your basic stroke, it’s time to shake things up a bit. Most men enjoy variety during a blowjob, but just like with cunnilingus , everyone likes different things. Use this exploratory time to try to get a sense of what he enjoys best. Try out two different techniques and ask them, “what do you like better? This? Or this?” Or pay attention to moaning or to the way your partner’s body moves to get a sense of what’s working.
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You’ll want to try out a few different things, but there’s no need to maniacally careen through 50 techniques in one sitting. Take your time exploring.
It’s sad enough that the balls get so overlooked, but what really brings a tear to my eye is all of those poor neglected buttholes out there. Gay men are usually clued in to the magic of the asshole, but straight men can often be more squeamish; the anus is still pretty taboo in our society, but it’s past time we all get over it. Your asshole feels good, people.
Still, I recommend getting explicit permission from your partner instead of just gunning for their butt. If your partner is a little shy or unsure, try stimulating the perineum, which is the strip of skin between the balls and asshole (otherwise known as the taint, or grundle). It’s not the asshole itself, so your partner may feel more comfortable being stimulated there. The perineum usually responds best to firm pressure, so try pressing a single knuckle into that area. You can try kneading the skin with your knuckle, or you can simply exert pressure.
If your partner is up for anal play, you’ll need to use some lube . I think silicone lube works best in this instance. Put a dab on your pointer finger, and slowly run your finger up and down your partner’s crack. Depending on how much hair is back there, it might take a few tries to actually locate the asshole, but once you’ve found it, you can simply press your fingertip against the opening. If your partner pushes their hips against your hand, try slowly inserting your finger. You don’t need to go in that far; even just an inch or two works. Gently slide your finger in and out.
If you’ve got this down, you can go for the gold standard of great blowjobs—a finger in the asshole, the remaining fingers of that hand wrapped around the balls, the other hand on the dick, and the dick in the mouth. Expect a blown load in no time. Seriously, anal play can really speed things up.
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Ah, the age old swallow or spit debate. One of my bottom lines as a sex therapist is that we all get to make our own decisions about what feels right for our sex lives. If you’re genuinely uncomfortable with swallowing, keep a box of tissues nearby and discretely spit into them when finished. If your partner is into being messy, you can make a show of it by letting the semen slip out of your mouth and onto them.
I’d also invite the spitters out there to consider the Golden Rule. How would you feel watching your partner leap up right after you were finished, and try to get rid of your juices as quickly as possible? It would be hard not to feel self-conscious about your genitals, and we all have enough of that already, don’t we? Genital fluids aren’t meant to taste incredible, but all we’re talking about is a quick swallow of a few teaspoons. Plus, it can quickly turn into an acquired taste.
If there’s one tip you should walk away from this entire article with, it’s that enthusiasm is the best quality in an incredible blowjob. There’s nothing better than knowing your partner is genuinely enjoying having your dick in their mouth.
One of the most effective ways you can show your enthusiasm is by initiating the blowjob. Surprise them when he walks in the door or when he wakes up in the morning. If you’re sitting around watching another Netflix marathon, tell them, “you know, I’d rather have your dick in my mouth right now.” When you’re out at dinner, whisper, “can we please get out of here? I need to wrap my lips around your dick as soon as possible.” Keep that enthusiasm going once you’re mid blowjob. Moan loudly and energetically. Look them in the eyes and smile. Take their penis out of your mouth and rub it all over your body. Keep telling them how hot it makes you to be pleasuring them.
You’ll know when you’ve really turned a corner with your blowjob technique when you do genuinely enjoy it. Because really, is there any better feeling than knowing you’re fully in control of bri
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