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Rope Journal Emily Bingham July 5, 2015 rope, rope slut, riggers, BDSM, rope bondage, guerilla rope, journal, rope bottoming, love, trust 1 Comment


Updates and Appearances, Rope Fiend IndieGoGo, Diary of a Rope Slut Emily Bingham June 25, 2015 rope fiend, rope slut, rope, appearances, reddit, Crush bar

Just a few pointers and suggestions for being a well educated, safe, and successful rope bottom from someone who has been tied up her fair share. This is some of the stuff I wish someone would have told me when I was first starting out, as well as things I've heard Tops complain about over the years regarding inconsiderate bottoms. Don't be that kind of rope bunny!
UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who has given this writing love over the years! I now have an entire memoir on the topic of being an empowered rope slut called "Diary of a Rope Fiend." Check out my crowdfunding to get it into print and contribute if you can.
Don't wait for rope to happen. If you see a rope person you're interested in, ask them if they're interested too. Even riggers like to be asked to dance every once in a while. At the same time, understand there is only so much rope one person can do at each event, don't take it personally if they ask for a rain check.
Know that Tops are just as nervous as you are. That doesn't mean they aren't safe to play with just that its nice to make them feel comforted and wanted too. Cut them some slack and give them some encouragement. Be patient, rope tends to take a while.
Unless you've negotiated otherwise, stay present in the scene, don't go falling off into happy land where you can't communicate as soon as a rigger touches you. It might be “just rope” but there are still negotiations to be done. It is no fun tying a rag doll. Feedback and your reactions--pleasure, pain, uncontrollable giggling--is how the top knows what's working and what isn't.
Have some ideas. What do you want to try? What do you want out of the scene? Why are you interested in this person? Don't always make the top do all the work, have something to add in case he asks.
Rope tops aren't carnival rides, they are humans with feelings and needs just like you. Give some energy back to the scene! Pick a Top you have a connection of some sort with not the one who you think is the biggest deal.
Have some manners, Tops need aftercare too. Thank the Top when you're done, hug, offer to put things away or chat with them while they coil their rope. You were in this together don't just run off as soon as the rope isn't on your body.
Rope is a treasure to a rigger, so treat it as such. The natural fiber stuff isn't cheap. So spit out your gum, skip the body lotion and keep your filthy shoes off the rope. Riggers put a lot of care into their rope, they don't want that stuff on it and neither will the next person that might end up in that rope.
Riggers are not rope and art vending machines. Would you ask someone to fix your car or take out your gallbladder for free? Then don't ask a rigger to tie you up so your partner can fuck you at a play party or to put pretty rope on you for some event and then run off still wearing it. If you like rope, buy your own and get to know someone that will use it with you.
Stretch, do yoga, get flexible. Tight muscles don't want to be tied and they will complain. PoisonBeatrice has wonderful videos of exercises to loosen up before going into rope.
Learn about physiology so you understand how to be safely tied. Take responsibility for your own health and safety by knowing where it is and isn't good to put rope pressure on nerves or veins.
Understand the risks of doing any sort of bondage. Nerve damage, compression issues--none of this is risk free, that's part of what makes it fun. Make sure the Top always has safety shears or some way to free you from the rope in case something goes wrong!
Know yourself and learn from past experience. If face down suspensions always hurt or strappado makes your hands go numb instantly, tell the rigger that before you start. Whatever doesn't work for you is okay, there are still plenty of other ways to get tied up.
Know your weaknesses that day. Sprain your ankle? Have a new tattoo? These are things the rigger should know before you're in their rope.
Have triggers like not liking your feet touched or crying after hearing the word kumquat? This would be nice to know ahead of time too.
Make sure you're well hydrated and fed before getting tied up. If your body is happy and running on proper blood sugar you will be far less likely to pass out or have drop afterwards.
If you have a nervous bladder, for the love of everything good in the world, pee before you start getting tied up!
It's tempting, but unless you like getting hit in the face with rope, resist the urge to watch the rope going on.
Rope isn't particularly comfortable, that's part of the point. Know the difference between good and bad pain in rope. Don't freak out or wince at every tug or tiny pinch of the rope.
If you feel bad pain, something go numb, or cold tell the person tying you right away! They aren't mind readers. Don't freak out, just mention there is an issue and allow the person tying you to try to resolve the problem. It might be possible to carry on the scene after a minor adjustment or you might have to be untied and start all over again.
When you start to get fatigued, give the rigger a warning. Such as, “My arm is starting to ache, I probably need to be untied in about 5 minutes.” If you've been bound frequently you should know the signs that your body needs to be untied, listen to it and communicate discomfort as it happens not when its an emergency.
Never let a rope that has been in someone else's genitals or mouth go in your genitals or mouth. The best way to keep this from happening is to invest in a few pieces of your own synthetic rope to have used on you for these specific sorts of ties.
Riggers all have their preferences, some want your hands to your side or above your head as you are getting tied. Ask or read their body language and figure it out. You might think you're being helpful by moving around or adjusting the rope but you're not. Hold still unless told otherwise and enjoy the experience.
Don't lock your knees and remember to breathe while you're getting tied and during the scene.
Suspensions are not the holy grail of rope bondage they are something to work up to. You have to know your body, your rigger and his skills very well before attempting them. There is nothing wrong with floor work. Don't let just anyone try to suspend you!
Know what you need after a scene and don't be afraid to ask for it. Whether its a hug, blanket or glass of water. I personally need a sip of water, some physical contact and if possible to stay in whatever state of undress I was in during the scene until I come back down to earth.
Most importantly, have fun! It's called play for a reason.


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There’s something undeniably arousing about being tied up or tying a partner up in the bedroom. Not only does it change the power structure, facilitating elements of domination and submission, but it also evokes powerful emotions. There’s an immense amount of vulnerability and trust required when sexually bound. These reasons (among others) help to explain why so many people fantasize about BDSM (remember, the B stands for “bondage”). In fact, a 93% of men and 96% of women have fantasized about some aspect of BDSM before.
So what are the best ways to use bondage during sex? If you’re someone who’s curious about bondage sex positions, you might have come across Shibari , a contemporary form of rope bondage that originated in Japan. (Sometimes, it’s also called Kinbaku or Japanese bondage.)
“Shibari is not inherently sexual,” explains Sydona , a Shibari artist and instructor; some people use it as a form of meditation or as a tool to feel intimate with a partner. However, Shibari can be sexual if you so choose. You can tie your partner up, and the two of you can go at it for hours in various positions. This piece is focused on all the fun, kinky sex you can have when either you or your partner is bound.
But before we continue, safety first! If you’ve never attempted Shibari, consider taking a course or one-on-one class with a professional , because tying someone up can be incredibly dangerous both physically and emotionally. And there are certain things you should never do—like use rope across the neck. This can lead to asphyxiation.
“The number one rule for tying safely is to ALWAYS have safety shears within reaching distance,” Sydona says. “The second is to be able to communicate to your partner well, both as both a top [person doing the tying] and bottom [person being tied]. Being able to communicate explicitly and coherently before, during, and after a session is what keeps it as safe and enjoyable as possible.”
With that said, here are 13 bondage sex positions you can try out with your partner. (You’ll notice the first two “positions” are actually two different types of standard Shibari ties that will allow you to complete every other position on the list.) In addition to speaking with Sydona, we also talked to world-renown, Shibari expert Midori . She's a sexologist, educator, and author of Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . (Midori offers Shibari classes , if you want to learn more advanced knots than the ones offered on this list.)
All you really need to be able to bring bondage to the bedroom is a simple handcuff-style tie, Syonda says. "This is called a 'double column' tie—two loops around two 'columns' (usually two limbs) that doesn’t collapse or self tighten."
"In any tie, but particularly with ties involving the wrists, it’s important to make sure you have plenty of wiggle room between the skin and the rope, and that the tie can’t tighten down on itself," she says. "A tie that does this is both uncomfortable and unsafe and can potentially cause loss of circulation or nerve damage."
To actually complete the double column tie, place your "wrists a couple of inches apart, and then wrap around both wrists," Midori says. "Cross at the middle and wrap around the space between the wrists and then tie two overhand knots." (I know this can be a little confusing without a depiction, so check out this 2-minute tutorial on how to to do a double column tie.) Once you've mastered the double-column wrist tie, you can get creative with it!
"This is a Shibari classic with vast variations," Midori says. "For a super simple way to start, use one or two long ropes, perhaps 25 to 30 feet. Then tie their wrists together behind their back. Use the remaining rope and wrap that around the arms and body. First below the breasts or pecs, then over it. If you connect the check ropes between the arm and torso, you’ll be able to snug it down tightly."
You can play in numerous positions with this one. "It's great for full frontal access to nipples and genitals," Midori says. "It's super hot for face-down anal, too."
"Position your partner on their knees with their behind in the air and chest flat on the bed, floor, couch, etc.," Sydona says. "Pull their arms back and tie their wrists together behind their thighs to their ankles. If this is too tough on their neck, put a pillow under their chest."
While the image here is depicting oral stimulation, you can also do anal and vaginal penetration in this position.
"Bend their legs and tie the thigh and ankle together with an easy release two column tie; then repeat for the other leg," Midori says. It's optional to tie the wrists to the thighs, Midori adds. (That's what's depicted in the image.)
This position allows for "sexy vulnerability" and "access to all the bits" making it great for both giving and receiving oral pleasure. It's also really smooth to transition into bound doggy from this position.
In this position, the bottom's ankles are tied to a pole—make sure to use something that won't give anyone splinters—a PVC pipe could work here or even a long Swiffer handle. The bottom's wrists are tied together.
Midori notes that you feel "delightfully exposed" in this position, and it's "fantastic for bound penetration from behind."
Have your partner lie on their stomach for the hogtie. "Tie their ankles together and their wrists behind their back, then tie those to each other," Sydona says.
"While this isn’t a great position for penetration, it’s great for oral and sets the mood for a BDSM-type session. Don’t forget that this position can be very strenuous on your partner’s back and shoulders, so make sure you have a quick exit plan and check in often."
Lay on one side, and "Tie wrists together with a basic wrist tie. Tie the left ankle to the right thigh, using the same tie as the wrists. Then tie the left thigh to the left upper arm bicep. Make sure it’s not too tight," Midori says. "The body looks amazing in this position and it's hot for spooning sex from behind."
Have your partner sit in a chair and tie their ankles to each chair leg and their wrists behind their back. "This position is great for oral, using toys, or for a good ol’ fashioned interrogation role play," Sydona says. "Pro tip: make sure the back of the chair is against a wall or something stable, so you don’t accidentally push your partner over backward in the heat of the moment."
"Have your partner straddle a chair so their booty is just barely off the edge of the seat and rest their chest on the seat's back," Sydona says. "Tie their ankles to the legs of the chair and their wrists behind their back. This position is great for anal play."
(Note: For this position to work, you need to use a chair without arms. You also want to lean the chair against a wall or bed; you don't want the chair toppling over!)
"Have your partner lie flat on their back on a bed and tie their wrists and ankles to each corner," Sydona says. "For extra spice add a blindfold, and go to town. If you or your partner are new to bedroom bondage this is a great starting position. It's simple to tie, not particularly strenuous, and you can even buy user-friendly under-the-bed restraints if rope isn’t your style."
"Again have your partner lie flat on their back on the bed. Tie each ankle to each corner at the top of the bed, lifting their leg as high as is comfortable for them," Sydona says. "If this is too difficult, tie their thighs instead of their ankles, so they can bend their knees. This position is great for, well, everything."
"With your lover on their back, place a pole under their ankle, just above their heels," Midori says. "Tie each wrist and ankles to the pole, and [make sure to] tie loose enough for wriggle room and to prevent loss of circulation."
This position grants full access penetration to all the orifices, Midori adds.
The Group Project is a rope bondage position for when three people are involved . "Have your partners stand face-to-face with their arms around each other. Tie both partners’ wrists in a classic handcuff tie behind the back of the other," Sydona says.
"From here, you can take a voyeuristic role and watch an inevitable steamy makeout session, or alternate teasing each partner while the other watches at a very close range."

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