Rope Bondage

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Rope Bondage
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In the wise words of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s WAP , “Tie me up like I’m surprised.”
Bondage—the B in BDSM —is a super common fantasy . If you’re a dominant partner, tying up your submissive and being in control is super sexy, and if you’re the sub, relinquishing that control by letting your partner tie you up can legitimately lead to the best sex, like, ever . As with all types of sex or sex acts, consent, safety, and aftercare are crucial. Once you have your routines in place, these rope bondage sex positions will bring you to the edge.
“When it’s done safely, rope bondage can be incredibly pleasurable and rewarding for both parties. It allows you to experiment with BDSM , power play, and explore new areas of pleasure that you may never have even considered,” says Ruby Payne , dominatrix and sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky . Emphasis on the word safe. Here’s what to keep in mind before you go buy a bunch of rope.
Your partner won’t know what you’re comfortable and uncomfortable with if you don’t tell them, and when someone’s getting tied up, clarity is essential. “Having a conversation outside of the bedroom is really helpful so you have an idea of things you do and don't want to do. It’s also an opportunity to talk about what you actually want so it’s an enjoyable experience for everyone,” says Jimanekia Eborn , a trauma specialist and host of the Trauma Queen podcast.
“Don’t get intimidated by photos of complicated ties or instructions that tangle up your brain. It’s totally fine to keep it simple—after all, fun and steamy are the objectives,” says Midori , a sexologist, educator and author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . Don’t know where to start? “What’s your favorite sex position? Start with that and use the ropes to tie the partner into that shape!”
Once you’ve gotten enthusiastic consent and communicated about what you want, implement a safe word system . “Go for simple words you don’t typically say during sex. Can’t come up with some? Use the traffic light system. Green means all good, keep going; orange means low down; red means stop immediately,” says Aliyah Moore, PhD , resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha .
You should also use the two-finger rule to ensure no one gets hurt. “It’s incredibly important that you don’t tie the ropes too tightly. You should leave room for two fingers between the bottom’s skin and the rope. This is because movement and pressure can cause the knots to tighten, so this additional squirming space is essential,” says Payne.
When playing with rope and bondage, it’s incredibly important to have a backup safety plan. “Remember to have a pair of safety scissors nearby, should a knot get stuck or either partner wants to unwrap quickly,” says Midori. If you’re using handcuffs, make sure they have a quick-release lever and that you have the keys nearby.
BDSM is fun, but it can also be a little jarring for beginners, and it doesn’t end with an orgasm. “Giving your power away and surrendering to your partner can be amazing. At the same time, bondage can get pretty intense. Even if you’re so into it while you’re doing it, there can be weird feelings once it’s done,” says Moore. This is why it's so important to practice aftercare . “It’s vital to create a nice and safe environment after bondage play is over. Care for your wrists and ankles if there are burns from restraints. Cuddle with your partner afterward and spend time being gentle with each other.” This is a great practice to put into play after any kind of sex, bondage or no bondage.
Not all ropes are created equal. “If you’re starting out, go for the soft and thicker cotton ropes. Cotton’s easier to wash after the good messiness of kinky pleasure,” says Midori. Hemp is also a good option. If you’re a newbie, try bondage tape . “It's a great alternative, especially for those who weren't Scouts in their youth and don't have a particular affinity for knot tying,” says Rachel Worthington , writer and researcher at Bedbible.com . “While it may look a lot like duct tape, it differs in that it only sticks to itself, not to skin or furniture. That means that in most cases, it can be used just like bondage rope but is easier to secure and remove with bondage scissors .”
Once you’ve got all the above squared away, try one (or all) of these sex positions for rope bondage. Don’t forget your safe word!
In this classic bondage position, the person who’s tied up sits up straight with their knees bent and feet on the floor. Their elbows and knees are tied together, as are their ankles and wrists. “This position is great for power play as it allows for ‘sexy vulnerability’ and gives the one in charge access to all their partner’s genitals. The dom can go down on their partner as they struggle against their bonds, or stand over them and receive from above,” says Payne.
“If you’re familiar with the Bridge pose in yoga , this sex position is kind of like that. If you’re the receiver, lie down with your back to the mattress and lift your hips into the air. Then, have your partner do the honors of binding your wrists behind your back. Let them grab your butt while you wrap your legs around their waist as they enter you,” says Moore.
If you’re the receiver, get in a facedown fetal position with your legs spread and your hips at the edge of the bed. Have your partner bind your wrists behind your back. They can stand to penetrate you from behind, reaching around to stroke your clit. “Want to take things up a notch? If you have a powerful vibrator like a Magic Wand , have your partner use it on your clit and your other erogenous zones for powerful orgasms,” says Moore.
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If one of you is really uncomfortable with being bound right away, try a test round with oral sex and no actual rope or cuffs. The person who is bravely giving it a go lies flat with their hands pressed under their butt so they're essentially binding themselves. If it gets too hardcore for them, they can release their hands whenever they want and all is well.
A spreader bar (or bondage tape and a broom handle) forces the receiver's ankles apart and gives easy access to their butt, while making them feel exposed and vulnerable (which is good here!). The receiver gets on all fours and the giver can torment them with a toy, their mouth, hands or penetration.
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The receiver sits backwards in a hard armless chair placed in the corner for dramatic effect. Receiver leans forward so their chest is touching the back of the chair and their butt is hanging over the front edge. The receiver's ankles are bound to the front chair legs and their wrists tied behind their back. Good for butt stuff, general discomfort and any manner of role-playing.
Even spooning can be kinked up with bondage. The little spoon's wrists and forearms are bound together in front of them. Big spoon can rock the little spoon's hips as they please—onto a strap-on, vibrator or penis. Spanking optional.
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Find just the right spot between arousing uncertainty and “Help! Way too f*cking vulnerable,” with your partner in a face down X position. Being face down may make the receiver feel less exposed and safer, but it's still tantalizing because they can't see what's going on. Slide your hands under them for a lubey hand job and if you/they want, use the other hand to play with their butt.
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Bind your wrist to your partner's (handcuffs are better for this one, unless you want a three-legged race-type couples challenge where you're trying to tie yourselves up) and lead them astray. You're in charge of what happens next. Push their hand up over their head and ride them or roll them on their side and move their hand over your body as you please.
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For comfort in the discomfort that is being tied up, try a standing position using restraints that fit over a door. (You can also bind their wrists to the door knob.) They can either be facing you to see what you have in store for them, or keep them on edge by facing them toward the door. Try using only your mouth to touch them to focus their attention on every sensation.
Bend your partner over a sturdy bar stool (or be the bend-ee), binding their ankles and wrists to the stool leg. You can flog them gently (or not so gently) or torture them otherwise with tongue, toy, or the promise of penetration if they beg hard enough.
If you want to try the classic bondage position of hog-tying but aren’t (yet) a master, go ahead and cheat a little with a restraint system that does the positioning for you. Your lover/victim lies on their stomach while you bind their ankles and arms behind their back. They’ll still be pretty restricted in their movements, but the restraint makes it a little more comfortable and less hard-core. Reward their good behavior with a lube-y reach-around.
Sit ’em in a straight-back chair and tie each of their legs to the chair legs and their wrists behind them. Blindfold them so they’ll be hyper-alert to whatever you chose to do with them. Some people like being teased with a feather or ice cube and your warm mouth. Others might want something rougher like a random slap or a whack on the thighs with a spatula. That part is for y’all to work out ahead of time with clear ground rules.
Start them off easy with a single silk tie (you can buy special bondage ties or just use a plain ol’ men’s tie) to tie their wrists together over their head. Lie them on their back and mount them, telling them they are absolutely not allowed to move (until you say so anyway).
One partner kneels with their face to the floor, butt in the air, and their wrists tied to their ankles. Slide a finger into their bum (with permission!) and use the other hand to give them a lube-y hand job. Make them beg for it first, of course.
Never will someone be more at your mercy than when they are on their back and completely open to whatever is gonna go down. Have them (or hell, order them) to lie on their back and open their legs for you. Their arms go under their knees and hands on their outside ankles so you can bind their wrists to their ankles (use bondage tape if knots aren't your thing). Then, go to town giving oral or penetrating.
Have them lie on their back spread-eagle, attaching each limb to a corner of the bed. (Use handcuffs attached to the head- and footboards, bondage tape wrapped around the mattress corners or an under-the-bed restraint system .) Once helpless, torture them with some infuriatingly slow oral.

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There’s something undeniably arousing about being tied up or tying a partner up in the bedroom. Not only does it change the power structure, facilitating elements of domination and submission, but it also evokes powerful emotions. There’s an immense amount of vulnerability and trust required when sexually bound. These reasons (among others) help to explain why so many people fantasize about BDSM (remember, the B stands for “bondage”). In fact, a 93% of men and 96% of women have fantasized about some aspect of BDSM before.
So what are the best ways to use bondage during sex? If you’re someone who’s curious about bondage sex positions, you might have come across Shibari , a contemporary form of rope bondage that originated in Japan. (Sometimes, it’s also called Kinbaku or Japanese bondage.)
“Shibari is not inherently sexual,” explains Sydona , a Shibari artist and instructor; some people use it as a form of meditation or as a tool to feel intimate with a partner. However, Shibari can be sexual if you so choose. You can tie your partner up, and the two of you can go at it for hours in various positions. This piece is focused on all the fun, kinky sex you can have when either you or your partner is bound.
But before we continue, safety first! If you’ve never attempted Shibari, consider taking a course or one-on-one class with a professional , because tying someone up can be incredibly dangerous both physically and emotionally. And there are certain things you should never do—like use rope across the neck. This can lead to asphyxiation.
“The number one rule for tying safely is to ALWAYS have safety shears within reaching distance,” Sydona says. “The second is to be able to communicate to your partner well, both as both a top [person doing the tying] and bottom [person being tied]. Being able to communicate explicitly and coherently before, during, and after a session is what keeps it as safe and enjoyable as possible.”
With that said, here are 13 bondage sex positions you can try out with your partner. (You’ll notice the first two “positions” are actually two different types of standard Shibari ties that will allow you to complete every other position on the list.) In addition to speaking with Sydona, we also talked to world-renown, Shibari expert Midori . She's a sexologist, educator, and author of Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . (Midori offers Shibari classes , if you want to learn more advanced knots than the ones offered on this list.)
All you really need to be able to bring bondage to the bedroom is a simple handcuff-style tie, Syonda says. "This is called a 'double column' tie—two loops around two 'columns' (usually two limbs) that doesn’t collapse or self tighten."
"In any tie, but particularly with ties involving the wrists, it’s important to make sure you have plenty of wiggle room between the skin and the rope, and that the tie can’t tighten down on itself," she says. "A tie that does this is both uncomfortable and unsafe and can potentially cause loss of circulation or nerve damage."
To actually complete the double column tie, place your "wrists a couple of inches apart, and then wrap around both wrists," Midori says. "Cross at the middle and wrap around the space between the wrists and then tie two overhand knots." (I know this can be a little confusing without a depiction, so check out this 2-minute tutorial on how to to do a double column tie.) Once you've mastered the double-column wrist tie, you can get creative with it!
"This is a Shibari classic with vast variations," Midori says. "For a super simple way to start, use one or two long ropes, perhaps 25 to 30 feet. Then tie their wrists together behind their back. Use the remaining rope and wrap that around the arms and body. First below the breasts or pecs, then over it. If you connect the check ropes between the arm and torso, you’ll be able to snug it down tightly."
You can play in numerous positions with this one. "It's great for full frontal access to nipples and genitals," Midori says. "It's super hot for face-down anal, too."
"Position your partner on their knees with their behind in the air and chest flat on the bed, floor, couch, etc.," Sydona says. "Pull their arms back and tie their wrists together behind their thighs to their ankles. If this is too tough on their neck, put a pillow under their chest."
While the image here is depicting oral stimulation, you can also do anal and vaginal penetration in this position.
"Bend their legs and tie the thigh and ankle together with an easy release two column tie; then repeat for the other leg," Midori says. It's optional to tie the wrists to the thighs, Midori adds. (That's what's depicted in the image.)
This position allows for "sexy vulnerability" and "access to all the bits" making it great for both giving and receiving oral pleasure. It's also really smooth to transition into bound doggy from this position.
In this position, the bottom's ankles are tied to a pole—make sure to use something that won't give anyone splinters—a PVC pipe could work here or even a long Swiffer handle. The bottom's wrists are tied together.
Midori notes that you feel "delightfully exposed" in this position, and it's "fantastic for bound penetration from behind."
Have your partner lie on their stomach for the hogtie. "Tie their ankles together and their wrists behind their back, then tie those to each other," Sydona says.
"While this isn’t a great position for penetration, it’s great for oral and sets the mood for a BDSM-type session. Don’t forget that this position can be very strenuous on your partner’s back and shoulders, so make sure you have a quick exit plan and check in often."
Lay on one side, and "Tie wrists together with a basic wrist tie. Tie the left ankle to the right thigh, using the same tie as the wrists. Then tie the left thigh to
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