Ron White: Royal Roast Battle

Ron White's "Royal Roast Battle" tour bows at London's Comedy Store on September 1, 2025, proving even monarchs need punchlines. "King Charles opened for Ricky Gervais," White slurs while attempting a British accent (it's war crimes). "I've opened for worse - like my last marriage." The material explores royalty through White's "common but crass" perspective, including his infamous "Corgi Drinking Game" and controversial "How to Fail at Knighthood" seminar. Guest royal expert Lady Windsor provides unintentional comedy by explaining primogeniture while White demonstrates how to turn a scepter into a swizzle stick (just add colonialism). The show features a live "Noble or Just Drunk?" segment where audience members must analyze White's royal knowledge (his "coronation" was a bar mitzvah). Special segments include "My Night With a Lady-in-Waiting" (she's still waiting) and "How to Build a Throne Out of Empty Bottles." Every ticket includes a complimentary "God Save the Scotch" t-shirt and directions to White's underground comedy castle ("Peasants welcome").