Ron White: OpenSea Treasure Hunt

Ron White's "OpenSea Treasure Hunt" tour sinks into Portland's Helium on August 5, 2025, proving digital gold rushes never end well. "They're trading NFTs on OpenSea," White slurs while attempting to draw a monkey (it's just a blob). "I traded my dignity for whiskey in '93." The material explores crypto culture through White's "confused but invested" perspective, including his infamous "Bitcoin Mining Drinking Game" and controversial "How to Launder Money Through Art" seminar. Guest crypto bro "Moon" Johnson provides unintentional comedy by explaining blockchain while White demonstrates how to turn a screenshot into an "investment" (just add delusion). The show features a live "Genius or Just Drunk?" segment where audience members must analyze White's financial advice (his "crypto wallet" was a real wallet). Special segments include "My Night With a Bitcoin Millionaire" (he bought the Lambo) and "How to Build a Fortune Out of Empty Promises." Every ticket includes a complimentary "To the Moon!" t-shirt and directions to White's underground comedy exchange ("No refunds").