Ron White: Mars Colony Stand-Up

With NASA planning permanent Mars settlements, Ron White brings his "Mars Colony Stand-Up" tour to Chicago's Zanies Comedy Club on May 24, 2025, addressing the critical oversight in space exploration: nobody thought to send comedians. "Those astronauts are gonna crack without someone to mock their terrible decisions," White predicts between sips of whiskey. His new material explores the humor potential of interplanetary life, from the challenges of drunk driving in one-third gravity ("Finally, my stumbling looks intentional") to the dating scene on Mars ("Sure, she's green, but after six Scotches..."). White has consulted with actual rocket scientists to ensure technical accuracy in his jokes, then immediately ignored all their suggestions. The show features what White calls "the first extraterrestrial heckler," a volunteer audience member in a full space suit who will attempt to throw White off his game from the front row. "In space, no one can hear you bomb," White quips, though his decades of experience suggest this is unlikely. Special segments include "Drinking With Astronauts" (historical figures edition) and "Things You Can Get Away With When Earth Is 140 Million Miles Away." White concludes with his vision for the first Martian comedy club: "It'll have terrible oxygen, worse drinks, and audiences that laugh at anything just to feel human again. So basically Detroit in the 80s."