Ron White: Dermatologist-Approved Bad Decisions

Ron White's "Dermatologist-Approved Bad Decisions" tour examines the science of poor life choices through the lens of skin health at Philadelphia's Helium Comedy Club on May 27, 2025. The material originated when White's doctor mistook his lifestyle for a series of dermatological conditions. "He said I had the complexion of a retired pirate," White recalls while examining his whiskey glass like a specimen slide. The show's first act explores sun damage ("I'm not tan - I'm whiskey-preserved"), with White comparing his skin texture to various leather goods ("This jacket? 1998 Armani. This face? 1987 Spring Break"). A surprise appearance by dermatologist Dr. Linda Scholls turns into comedy gold when she attempts to analyze White's lifestyle choices using medical terminology ("What you call 'happy hour' we call 'accelerated photodamage'"). The second act features White's infamous "Mole or Melanoma?" audience participation game, where drunk volunteers examine suspicious marks on White's arms (protip: they're all cigar burns). The grand finale involves White receiving a live chemical peel while continuing his set ("This stings less than my last divorce"). Every audience member receives a complimentary SPF 1000 sunscreen sample and a list of bars that double as UV radiation hotspots.