Roman Orgy
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John Hawkins
May 28, 2018 9:28 AM ET
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As a Roman history buff, I’d heard weird sexual stories about the Romans in dribs and drabs. Those little scraps of information were enough to pique my curiosity though, so when I ran across a book called Sex Lives of the Roman Emperors , I had to read it. As you are about to see, the Romans were even more degenerate than you imagine.
For centuries, the Romans had the best military of the ancient world. To take them on meant death, subjugation, and the rape of your women, which was commonplace in those days. What wasn’t as commonplace was another Roman practice. After being captured, an enemy soldier might experience the horror of having a dentifrangibus used on them. A dentifrangibus is another word for tooth smasher. After the teeth were smashed out of the enemy soldier’s mouth, the Roman soldiers then had sex with the toothless mouth as a way to humiliate their foes. This practice was called irrumatio and Romans didn’t consider it gay since they were the ones doing the penetrating.
Compared to some of the deviant Roman emperors that followed, Julius Caesar almost seems tame. Yet and still, he was famous for his sexual appetites. He spent vast sums buying attractive slaves for sexual purposes on the one hand and on the other, had slept with both the wives of fellow triumvirate members Pompey and Crassus. Caesar was also known for having sex with men, which the Romans took a laissez-faire attitude toward. However, Caesar was mocked by many Romans because he was reputed to be the catcher, not the pitcher, which Romans thought was unmanly. Caesar was also, of course, famous for his romance with Cleopatra, who had her servants roll her up inside of a rug so she could be inconspicuously delivered to the powerful Roman. He fell for her and then helped her free herself from her brother, to whom she was married. Even Caesar’s death may be tied to his sex life, as Brutus’s mother was one of his mistresses which means that the most famous Roman emperor may have been knifed to death by his own son.
The Romans had many gods, some of which they adopted from other cultures, and one of the more popular deities that they worshipped was Priapus. Priapus was a child of Venus who was known for being extraordinarily ugly and for having enormous genitals. He was a fertility god whose image was supposed to somehow scare off thieves. As a tribute to him, penises went up on walls, outside doors, and on the sides of houses — and huge penises were even used as scarecrows. During festivals honoring Priapus, respected women would publicly strip down and masturbate to encourage fertility.
The Romans loved to put on a big show in the Colosseum and they were always trying to top each other. Usually this was done with copious bloodshed. Toward that end, criminals were often executed in the area. One of the ways the Romans put criminals to death was via sex with animals. The animals used, which must have taken some incredible training, included bulls, wild dogs, baboons and giraffes.
You could write an entire book on the madness of Caligula and his insanity certainly extended into his sexual practices. There’s far too much to list here, but here are a few of his greatest hits. Caligula would abduct and rape any woman who took his fancy, whether she was married or not. This even included the wives of Roman noblemen who were powerless to stop Caligula. Afterward, to add insult to injury, Caligula would publicly comment on how his victims had performed in bed. However, Caligula’s favorite sex partner was his own sister, Drusilla. In fact, he regularly had sex with her in an amphitheater where people could pay to watch them in action. Drusilla reportedly dropped dead at 23 after a 24-hour long marathon buggery session with Caligula and other men. Two of Caligula’s other sisters whom he suspected of working against him were forced to publicly service every man who wanted to have sex with them, in any fashion the men desired for five days. Supposedly, they engaged in thousands of sex acts during that time.
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According to archaeological research at the Temple of Mut in Luxor, the ancient inhabitants of the Nile River Valley had a raucous “Festival of Drunkenness” that occurred at least once per year during the 15th century B.C. reign of Hatshepsut. The celebration had a religious component—it was inspired by a myth about a bloodthirsty warrior goddess named Sekhmet who nearly destroyed mankind before drinking too much beer and passing out—and the festivities played out as a massive, debauched party.
To reenact their salvation, the Egyptians would spend a wild evening dancing to music, engaging in casual sex and drinking themselves into a stupor with mug after mug of frothy beer. The festivities only ended the next morning, when the thousands of dazed, hung-over revelers were woken by the sound of drum players.
Painting of dancers on fire during the ball. (Credit: British Library)
On January 28, 1393, the French Queen Isabeau of Bavaria hosted a lavish banquet at Paris’s Hôtel Saint-Pol to celebrate the marriage of one of her maids-in-waiting. The highlight of the evening was supposed to be a dance involving King Charles VI and five nobles, each of whom was clad in a woodland “wild man” costume made from linen and flax and oakum fibers.
Shortly after Charles and his men began their routine, however, the King’s brother the Duke of Orleans arrived and drunkenly approached the dancers with a lit torch. When he moved too close, he accidently ignited one of their resin-covered costumes, triggering a blaze that instantly spread to the rest of the group. King Charles avoided injury only after a quick-thinking aunt covered him with her skirt. Another man saved himself by diving into a tankard of wine, but four other dancers were engulfed in flames and killed.
Recreated dishes from the Manchu Han Imperial Feast. (Credit: VCG/VCG via Getty Images)
First staged in 1720, the Manchu Han Imperial Feast eat-a-thon was ostensibly a 66th birthday party for the Qing Emperor Kangxi, but it was also an attempt to unify the ruling Manchus with China’s Han population. For three days, the banquet’s 2,500 guests quaffed wine and stuffed themselves silly with as many as 300 different dishes and snacks. Along with dumplings, duck and roast pigs fattened with porridge, the menu also offered a selection of more obscure dishes known as the “32 delicacies.” These included such culinary oddities as bear paws, camel humps, bird’s nests, leopard fetuses and monkey brains. The feast was the height of imperial opulence, and it was so popular that it was later copied multiple times during the Qing era. Even today, some of China’s more ritzy restaurants still serve multi-course, Manchu Han-inspired feasts.
The Shah of Iran’s Parties of Persepolis. (Credit: Georges Galmiche / INA via Getty Images)
In 1971, a multi-day banquet was held to celebrate the 2,500 anniversary of Cyrus the Great’s founding of the Persian Empire. The elaborate birthday bash was staged in the shadow of the ancient ruins of Persepolis. As part of the preparations, the Shah erected an oasis tent city adorned with 20 miles of silk, flew in food and chefs from France and imported 50,000 songbirds. The 600 guests—who included Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie, the prince and princess of Monaco and more than 60 other royals and heads of state—dined on roast peacock and quail eggs and sampled 5,000 bottles of vintage champagne.
In between meals, they took in fireworks displays, dance performances and a parade that featured soldiers costumed as great armies from Persian history. The celebration was supposed to signify the greatness of the Shah’s regime—he even had it documented in a propaganda film called “Flames of Persia”—but it ended up being the last gasp of Iran’s millennia-old monarchy. By the end of the decade, growing discontentment with his rule saw him overthrown in a revolution.
Francis I and Henry VIII at the Field of the Cloth of Gold. (Credit: Leemage/Corbis via Getty Images)
When King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France hosted a joint summit in 1520 in a valley near Calais, they were supposed to be nurturing friendly relations between their two nations. What happened instead was a competition in party form. For two-and-half weeks, the royals attempted to upstage and outspend one another by hosting a spree of drinking, jousting, archery, and feasting. The banquets featured elaborate tents and pavilions, meat from over 4,000 lambs, calves and oxen, and fountains that spewed wine.
The highlight of the bender came near its conclusion, when the two royals squared off in an impromptu wrestling match (Francis reportedly tossed Henry to the ground). Despite its steep price tag—it supposedly drained both nations’ treasuries—the party failed to initiate an era of good feelings. By 1521, England and France were once again on opposite sides of a war.
Truman Capote arrives at the Hotel Plaza Katherine Graham, the guest of honor of the Black & White Ball. (Credit: Bettmann/Getty Images)
On November 28, 1966, fresh off the success of his bestselling book “In Cold Blood,” literary celebrity Truman Capote hosted a much-publicized “Black and White Ball” in the Grand Ballroom of New York’s Plaza Hotel. Held in honor of Washington Post publisher Katharine Graham, the soiree brought together what the New York Times called “as spectacular a group as have ever been assembled for a private party.” Its eclectic, 540-person guest list included crooner Frank Sinatra, novelist Ralph Ellison, actors Lauren Bacall and Henry Fonda, artist Andy Warhol, Italian princess Luciana Pignatelli, and members of the affluent Vanderbilt, Rockefeller and Astor families.
The revelers arrived wearing masks, which Capote decreed could not be removed until midnight, and celebrated with dancing and 450 bottles of vintage Tattinger champagne. A lone tense moment occurred when author Normal Mailer challenged former U.S. National Security Advisor McGeorge Bundy to a fight over the Vietnam War, but most of the guests later remembered the party as a glamorous affair.
Credit: Stefano Bianchetti/Corbis via Getty Images
Scholars still debate what went on at the Bacchanalia, Rome’s cultic celebrations of the wine god Bacchus, but if the historian Livy is to be believed, they were some of the ancient world’s most decadent parties. “When wine, lascivious discourse, night, and the intercourse of the sexes had extinguished every sentiment of modesty,” he wrote of the secretive meetings, “then debaucheries of every kind began to be practiced.” Bacchanalia first came to Rome via Greece, and they reached their peak sometime in the second century B.C., when their initiates included people from every strata of society.
Members of the cults would reportedly gather in private homes or in woodland groves for all-night orgies of dancing, animal sacrifice, feasting, drinking and sex. Details of the rites are sketchy at best—Livy claims they may have also involved murders and poisonings—but there’s no doubt that they scandalized certain factions of Roman society. Fueled by rumors of the excess that occurred at the Bacchanalia, the Roman Senate famously voted to suppress the celebrations in 186 B.C.
Crowds at Andrew Jackson’s first inauguration.
Presidential inaugurations are typically staid affairs, but the March 4, 1829, swearing in of Andrew Jackson nearly turned into a drunken disaster. After giving his inauguration speech, Old Hickory retired to the White House, which was hosting an open reception to allow the public to greet their new commander in chief. Before long, the executive mansion was crammed with thousands of rowdy well-wishers, some of whom climbed atop furniture and knocked over glassware in their struggle to catch a glimpse of the celebrity president.
When Jackson’s staff tried to control the rabble by serving alcoholic refreshments, the scene only grew worse. The chaos abated after the tubs of whiskey punch were moved to the White House lawn, but Jackson was forced to flee to a nearby hotel to avoid being crushed by his supporters.
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In ancient Rome, the general rule was that slaves could be freely tortured. In fact, it was highly recommended that any free man accused of a crime would have his slaves tortured in his place, often to the death, so that a verdict could be reached. That didn’t stop Rome’s elite from torturing the free men and women of their country, though. There were always loopholes in the laws of ancient Rome, and the elite rulers exploited each and every one of them.
If you’re looking for cruel and unusual forms of torture, you don’t have to look any further than ancient Rome. Take, for instance, a torture that was described by both Apuleius ( The Golden Ass ) and Lucian ( Lucius, or the Ass ):
A donkey would be killed, its belly sliced open, and the entrails removed. The accused was then stripped of clothing and stuffed into the animal’s belly. The belly was stitched closed, leaving only the accused’s head outside, preventing suffocation but prolonging suffering.
The donkey’s body was kept in the sun. It would begin to decompose—with the living victim inside being cooked by the heat . Maggots would crawl all over the accused, and vultures would peck at the animal’s decaying flesh. Death, while welcomed, came slowly for the victim of this torture.
Saint Gregory described a heinous torture that was performed on young women by the people of Heliopolis while under Roman rule:
Any virgin who was to undergo this torture was first given to the gladiators. After the young woman was no longer a virgin, she was publicly stripped, and her belly was sliced open, spilling her innards out. Handfuls of barley were stuffed into her, and she was sewn back up—only to be given to wild hogs. She would then be torn apart .
In ancient Rome, the higher your status, the more people you were allowed to bone without consequence. For example, the emperor would get it on with anyone he wanted. A general could make a move on a lieutenant or a common citizen, and soldiers could go after common citizens.
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