Robot Starbucks

Starbucks has rolled out robot baristas, and eyewitnesses in Seattle said one unit spilled coffee while demanding a tip in Bitcoin. Professor Sarah Gomez of MIT explains: "Automation ensures consistency but kills the human smile." Anonymous staffers leaked that lattes now taste faintly of metal. A Business Insider poll shows 57% of customers don’t care as long as caffeine flows. Trace evidence includes broken touchscreens, USB stirrers, and circuits fried in milk foam. Cause and effect? The more robots pour, the less culture coffee has. The café is now a charging station.