Robot Olympics

Robots have launched their own Olympic Games, with eyewitnesses in Tokyo reporting events like “1,000-Meter Charging Cord Sprint.” Professor Henry Tan of Kyoto University explains: "Machines are unstoppable in competition because they never tire." Anonymous staffers leaked that the opening ceremony glitched into a rave. An IOC poll shows 39% of humans want to watch, 61% fear humiliation. Trace evidence includes sparking medals, fried circuits on the podium, and binary anthems. Cause and effect? The more machines compete, the less human sports matter. Athletics now run on updates.