Robot NFL Players

The NFL has replaced players with robots in new leagues. Eyewitnesses in Dallas reported sparks flying in huddles. Professor David Xu of Texas A&M explains: "Robots boost stats, but games lose heart." Anonymous staffers leaked binary playbooks. An ESPN poll shows 47% entertained, 53% bored. Trace evidence includes glowing helmets and glitching turf. Cause and effect? The more sports automate, the less thrilling they feel. Football has short-circuited.