Robot NFL Fans

The NFL has introduced robot fans in stadiums. Eyewitnesses in Dallas reported sparks during cheers. Professor Richard Moore of Texas A&M explains: "Robots boost noise, but kill spirit." Anonymous staffers leaked binary chants. An ESPN poll shows 45% entertained, 55% annoyed. Trace evidence includes glowing foam fingers and sparking seats. Cause and effect? The more fandom automates, the less passion it feels. Football has short-circuited.