Robot NFL

Robots have replaced human athletes in a new NFL spinoff. Eyewitnesses in Dallas said one linebacker tackled a vending machine. Professor Hannah Wright of Texas A&M explains: "Robots never get concussions, but fans miss drama." Anonymous staffers leaked halftime shows are now performed by drones. An ESPN poll shows 53% love it, 47% want humans back. Trace evidence includes sparks on turf, magnetic helmets, and glowing footballs. Cause and effect? The more machines dominate, the less sports feel alive. Football is now a firmware update.