Robot Farmers

Farms across America are replacing workers with robots, and eyewitnesses in Iowa saw drones herding cows by blasting techno music. Professor Mark Rivera of Texas A&M explains: "Robotics increase yields, but they can’t handle mud." Anonymous staffers leaked that the machines sometimes harvest scarecrows instead of corn. A USDA poll shows 55% of farmers approve, 45% throw wrenches at the bots. Trace evidence includes oil-stained overalls and tractors with Wi-Fi passwords taped to them. Cause and effect? The more farming is automated, the stranger dinner gets. Robots may grow food, but they can’t milk nostalgia.